It isn't often that I get e-mails which really grab me by the throat, shake me around like a screaming 3 month old, and leave me all wobbly and confused. Just when I've lost my faith in the ability of my inbox to shock me into attention, here comes an e-mail from Motley Fool entitled "What if it's not as bad as everybody thinks?" - innocent enough, right?

No offense to the Fool folks but I usually skip over each and every e-mail (why subscribe in the first place? Don't ask me, I like to keep an eye on the haps even if it means getting inundated with e-mails all day long), or at a minimum click through one article which seems to hold a little bit of promise. I blame Fool for starting this "Spam-a-subscriber" campaign in which they try to seduce me with promises of wealth beyond my wildest dreams if I pull a Warren Buffet and jump on the "INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME OMGLOLWTF!!!11!! FUX TEH RECESSION!!!!1!"

No thanks, Fool.

But I digress. Fourth article down in this particular e-mail was one such which punched me directly in the face upon opening, and which any person with half a brain cannot help but ignore. The New World Order has officially hit the mainstream. But better than the mainstream coverage of what was once considered exclusive territory of conspiracy theorists and people who smoke too much pot, now we are being told by Fool that not only does the New World Order exist but OMG you can profit from it too!

And the kicker? Henry Kissinger's name in the first sentence. Damn you, Fool, for making conspiracy theorists pull late hours chasing down the evil plot to take over the world.

International power broker Henry Kissinger -- who also happens to be Tim Geithner's first employer out of college -- said in a 2007 interview with Charlie Rose that "we're at a moment when the international system is in a period of change like we haven't seen for several hundred years."

And what's changing? Former President of the World Bank James Wolfensohn is more specific:

You will have a 22 times growth [in developing countries like Brazil, Russia, India, China, and Mexico] between now and the year 2050. And the current rich countries will grow maybe two-and-a half times. This is not just ... a modest statistical change. This is a change in terms of quantum and in terms of importance.

A new world order is emerging. What will be changing?

savvy American investors do not need to fear this global power shift, nor the dawn of the Chinese century. Many U.S. companies will benefit by expanding their international market share, and U.S. investors will profit by directly owning stocks in foreign companies.

No offense (again) to Fool... or rather, perhaps offense is warranted in this circumstance, but this is a truly moronic suggestion.

"New" is not to be feared as we have certainly digested new and revolutionary concepts in our 233 years as a country. But this is an idea no one should get behind, especially investors. The profits? Dismal for the long view as nothing birthed from this kind of control by a select few with little regard for the sound principles of economics can possibly lead to anything good.

Even if you do not subscribe to the concept of an evil plot to take over the world, what should a reasonable person believe when it comes to the AIG and Goldman Sachs-funded Group of 30, which includes Paul Volcker, Larry Summers, and Tim Geithner (just to name a few) providing President Obama with a financial recovery plan to trot to the G20?

Investment opportunities are one thing. Blatant disregard for the potential consequences of an assault on sound regulation is another.

Don't buy it. The only capitalizing that should be done in the current climate involves gold and bunkers or plans to escape to Canada and/or Central America (my personal plan). Beyond that?

Give me a break.