Let's get down to business: you don't come here thinking Jr Deputy Accountant is puking up unicorns and rainbows unless you are Googling "Jamie Dimon is Sexy" and took a wrong turn at the LOLcats. If unicorns and rainbows are what you are looking for, I recommend any mainstream media outlet, the Federal Reserve's own PR team, or even the Good News Economist [GNE]. Of those suggestions, at least GNE is mildly realistic in his assessments while MSM and the Fed are dosed hard on the Kool-aid or at a minimum spinning the "news" into something palatable that will make consumers buy the hype and hit the mall credit cards in hand.

Case in point, NY Times on the stagnation of Sacramento housing prices as a "sign of recovery." What? Sacramento is overrun with unemployment and homeless tent camps. These aren't the crack-addicted homeless of my fair homebase of San Francisco, these are those shuttered out of the American dream by foreclosure. Well, for the most part. God forbid I spin the spin and blow this out of proportion.

Sure, home sales might be up in Sacramento but the housing market as a whole in California is still over-inflated and hallucinatory at best. Besides, while NYT is looking at housing for "signs of a bottom," the pending collapse of commercial real estate is still lingering on the horizon. When will MSM get it? Big picture, people, big picture.

In Martin Weiss' latest issue of Safe Money (btw Weiss is so bearish he's even bearish on bears), it is evident that my skeptical counterparts in the business of blogging this mess and I are not the only ones calling "bullshit" on this rally/recovery line. Why? Because Wall Street and Washington (Fed included) are full of shit! Duh!

MW indentifies some lines you may be familiar with:

Lie #1. “The financial crisis is behind us.”
Lie #2. “The government is fixing it.”
Lie #3. “Big banks are too big to fail.”
Lie #4. “Your insurance is safe and guaranteed.”
Lie #5. “The economy is starting to recover.”
Lie #6. “Your stocks will come back.”

We’ve just seen the biggest bogus stock market rally in our lifetime, built on the most blatant pack of lies we’ve ever heard:

Wall Street and Washington say the financial crisis is behind us. But the International Monetary Fund (IMF) has just trashed that theory faster than a high-speed paper shredder.

They say big banks can’t fail. But behind the headlines, key Fed officials are now admitting that the “too big to fail” doctrine is, itself, failing.

I interject here to point out that Minneapolis Fed's Gary Stern actually sounded the alarm long before "too big to fail" became "too much to handle." But since when does the Fed listen? Even amongst itself? Pathetic.

The reality here is that the Fed does not and cannot have a handle on the very economic unraveling it created. It's impossible. Meanwhile, the respective PR campaigns of the White House, the Treasury, and the Fed are hard at work convincing you otherwise. Everything is OK. We're fine. The stock market is on a roll. Hey, don't look over there, check out Susan Boyle! Isn't she fucking amazing!? WOW!

Shut up.

It doesn't take a genius to see just how phony this "recovery" is. Look around you. Eyes and ears open, head up, pencil in hand (you might want to take notes).

My roommate from Shanghai and I often discuss monetary matters (yeah, a good time is always had at our house... woo! It's a party! Bring the FRNs and the duck feet!), with me giving her the latest updates on China's gold holdings or the Fed's quantitative easing scam. Explaining China upping its gold reserves as yet another sign that they'd be bailing out of their dollars any day now, I said "Those fuckers are smart. Point: China." Her face scrunched up momentarily before I realized what that meant.

It doesn't matter if China has the most gold, their own people are still suffering. It doesn't matter if America can unload all these worthless pieces of paper before the rest of the world, we're still suffering.

It doesn't matter whether they tell us the truth or not (I think we know they're full of it anyway) because we're still suffering. That should be proof enough that this rally is a lie, this recovery line is a lie, and all these rainbows and unicorns are manufactured to keep "crowd control" from becoming a national security concern.

Could you imagine what would happen if America collectively woke up one morning and realized that their "wealth" was really just worthless paper?

There's your recovery. Shove it directly up your ass, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Besides, even if you did collect $200, it'll be worth $0.00002 by the time the game is over. You're welcome!