Looking for Creative Accounting? Look no Further than Goldman Sachs
As my loyalest (holy shit, that's actually a word?) readers already know, it was brought to my attention weeks back that Mike Morgan had recently come under fire for blogging about the GS shenanigans over at GoldmanSachs666. Goldman has gone so far as to claim Mr Morgan was feigning an affiliation to the company (um, what?) and decided to sue his ass. Good for them because now none other than yours truly has also jumped on board at GS666 to front off the underground PPT and largest market manipulators in history. Idiots.
All Goldman accomplished by this little stunt was uniting soldiers in the war against their bullshit. Genius move, you asshats!
As my loyalest readers also know, there's nothing I love more than fronting off the creative wizardry of accounting "adjustments" as they apply to the financial crisis. Perhaps if the powers that be stopped readjusting the rules as if they are merely low-hanging balls to be shifted slightly lower and to the left, we'd find a way out of this mess. As if.
So, that being said, my counterparts over at GS666 have some interesting thoughts on Goldman's spectacular December - which has essentially dropped off the face of the planet. Meh! Fuck it! Shred the evidence and call it a day!
We are all Enron now. Just remember that, kids, and thank Goldman for it when all is said and done.
Editor's Note: Wonder if Goldman's accountants are available for hire for personal finances?
The $850 million Dollar Question [via Zero Hedge]"(1) Includes one day on which the firm incurred negative trading net revenues of $859 million, principally reflecting a writedown of approximately $850 million related to the bridge and bank loan facilities held in LyondellBasell Finance Company."
Now, two questions emerge:
i) the digital jump in value on this loan from something likely reflecting par to a value indicative of zero or just above, raising questions about just what the mark-to-market or otherwise methodology at Goldman is, especially since the underlying bonds in Lyondell did not demonstrate anywhere near to a comparable corresponding plunge.
ii) why did Goldman take the charge in December, when LyondellBasell did not file for bankruptcy until January 6, 2009? Just how did Goldman know to remark their position a week in advance of one of the biggest bankruptcies for 2009? As has been speculated elsewhere, the orphan month of December was used by Goldman as a garbage bag in to mark down all its underpeforming positions (and in some cases undermark existing assets especially in the commodities book)."
Didn't Stephen Friedman, Goldman Director, and NY Fed Chairman buy quite a few shares of Goldman Sachs stock in December, like 37,000 shares? Guess the timing worked out pretty darn well for him.
Why yes, Brent, Mr. Friedman did gobble up 37,000 Goldman shares. But of course, the Fed doesn't think this is an issue since he'd already violated the rules in owning his previous lot of shares. WHAT?!
Can someone please wake me when this is over? I'm tripping my non-existent balls off with all this hallucinatory accounting magic, it's just too much for me... thanks!
And may the record reflect here that my employer (independent of my opinion as always *disclaimer) does not train unethical accountants to pass the CPA exam thankyouverymuch. We only accept the cream of the accounting crop at the CPA Factory. Goldman accountants need not apply.