Listen, this is what happens when you fuck with capitalism. That's all I'm saying. In a perfect world where the fundamentals of markets are respected instead of perverted, Goldman would of course be applauded for its success. Financial bloggers would stay off their balls and stop poking at the tracks left by their program trading and Lloyd Blankfein would sleep well at night knowing his evil little scheme worked after all (insert muahahahaha here).

But we all know this is not our world. And in Bizarro World, you better believe people are pissed off. Rightfully so.


Goldman Sachs profit bonanza could stoke anger (via Reuters):

Under normal circumstances, Goldman Sachs Group Inc (GS.N) might be afforded a moment of gloating as it struts toward what could be a banner earnings announcement just nine months after being roiled by Wall Street's worse crisis since the Great Depression.

But these aren't ordinary times for the biggest U.S. investment bank, which lately has faced a torrent of unwanted publicity stemming from employee theft allegations and an unflattering spread in Rolling Stone magazine.

Now Goldman, expected to announced second-quarter earnings on Tuesday, finds itself in a no-win situation.

If earnings are too good critics may lambaste it for ramping up risk too much and embracing a hedge fund-like model that could make it vulnerable to big market swings.

If they fall short, investors may accuse the firm of failing to live up to its reputation for being more aggressive and intelligent than its rivals.

"They are between a rock and a hard place," said Walter Todd, a portfolio manager with Greenwood Capital Associates, which owns shares of rival Morgan Stanley (MS.N).

And, regardless of the results, critics may fall back on the old "Government Sachs" refrain, a nod to the number of former Goldman defectors now working in government, and claiming special treatment.

From a public relations standpoint, Todd said that leaves Goldman asking questions familiar to the oil industry as it contended with windfall profit taxes amid spiking gas prices.

Awww, poor Goldman. Nobody to brag to that they have blown Q2 through the roof? That's just terrible. I'm crying on the inside as we speak. Truly. Swear ta.

(BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right!)