Here, Can I Translate that Fedspeak for You? "Suck Our Large Cojones, Please."
I mean really?
Do you need to have everything explained?!
Because I'm such a helpful sort of girl, let me translate this for you:
Freedom of information? If I were the Fed and had a pair of balls, I'd ask you politely to suck them right about now. You're welcome for that translation. I'll be selling my free E-book on how to decode this shit any day now. I think the Hank Paulson quote works wonderfully here (LOL @ "Paulson's 'Bazooka' turned out to be a pea shooter" from Bloomberg, August 2008):
``If you have a bazooka in your pocket and people know it, you probably won't have to use it,'' U.S. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson said at a July 15 Senate Banking Committee hearing.
Paulson was referring to the Treasury's plan, subsequently enacted by Congress, to enable the government to lend to and inject capital into Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, two government- sponsored enterprises that own or guarantee more than $5 trillion of home mortgages.
Packing a bazooka is a simple analogy for a not-so-simple problem. The government backstop was supposed to reassure investors. Instead, it turned out to be the equivalent of a ``Beware of Dog'' sign on Fannie's and Freddie's stock and a ``tread softly'' notice on their debt.
What King Henry said was that he didn't have a squirt gun in his pocket, he was ready to unleash the monetary WMDs on the world and had Bernanke fluffing him up the entire way. Again, you're welcome for the translation. There's a whole lot of central banker, Goldman rat Viagra at work here and they all got a piece of it.
Anyway. The Fed wants you to know it has a bazooka but doesn't want you all up in its business. Put Bernanke on the cover of US Weekly already, I want to see E! News covering his makeover. Jon and Kate? Please. Geithner and Summers.
The institution which creates and oversees America's currency wants to keep a "low profile," according to a published report on Monday, and may willing to dodge the U.S. Treasury in order to do so.
According to Bloomberg News, the Federal Reserve Bank will not submit to a voluntary public study of its internal structure and methods of governance, as it was requested to do so by Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.
Geithner is the former New York Federal Reserve Bank chairman. The review he requested is part of President Barack Obama's financial regulatory reforms, which he proposed in mid-June. Part of those reforms would have studied the Fed's "ability to accomplish its existing and proposed functions" -- a proposal the bank's board of governors appears to have flatly rejected.
"The agency also said that while the report requested by Secretary Geithner and his department has not yet been scrapped, no work has been done on the project, which is due Oct 1," noted Reuters.
"The institution is trying to keep a low profile," Vincent Reinhart, a former Fed monetary policy director, told Bloomberg. "To publish a report now invites comment on that report."
And comments are the last thing the Fed wants right now.
A low profile? Laughable! How?!
I hate to break it to them but A) with Jr Deputy Accountant riding their nuts and endlessly criticizing every move and B) America suddenly waking up to the reality that the Fed isn't the same as the Mint or Treasury, they sort of have to accept that "low profile" isn't going to happen.
Who wanted the large pair of obvious balls?
They are just going to have to tighten up their game I suppose. Low profile days for the Fed are long gone and just like our "old normal," never to return.
Welcome to the nut vice, boys, happy to be your friendly hostess. Start naming names and I promise I'll play nice.