Bank of America Prepares for the Worst, Still Sucks

WSJ is reporting that Bank of America is looking for an "emergency CEO" just in case Ken Lewis has to pull a Ken Lay and "disappear" if ya feel me.


Bank of America Corp. directors plan this week to settle on an emergency CEO pick in case legal turmoil forces Kenneth D. Lewis to step down before year end, according to a person familiar with the situation.

Work on the contingency plan began before Mr. Lewis announced his retirement as chief executive officer of the Charlotte, N.C., bank, effective Dec. 31, this person said. The discussions accelerated last month after a federal judge rejected a proposed Bank of America settlement with the Securities and Exchange Commission and reports that New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo might file civil securities-fraud charges.

I'm no law expert so I can't tell you how it looks for Bank of America going forward but I am an expert of clusterfucks, having participated in one or two myself, not to mention the fact that I'm obsessed with these shenanigans so let's just say it doesn't look good for America's bank, now does it?

Meanwhile, this guy (who claims to have a FICO score of 800, btw) is facing foreclosure and can't seem to get to anyone at Bank of America high up enough who can to help him save his Pensacola, FL home so he's resorted to YouTube. Suck it, BofA.

A teller in Bank of America told him to use the Bank of America phone to call Bank of America. You can't make this shit up, people.

In Bank of America's defense (lest we be accused of being a shit disturber), it seems as though this guy bought a 12 unit apartment dwelling so it's not like he's some subprime prick who had no business owning a home anyway. I doubt if one of his tenants came knocking down his door asking for a break he'd be all that forgiving either but, uh, it certainly makes one wonder.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.