Jr Deputy Accountant Needs Your Help. Srsly.

I rarely ask for shit out of you people though I enjoy the rubs and the thanks and the love (seriously, it gets me off) and that will never change but I need a favor from all of you.

Are you outraged yet?

Are you ready to take back your country or are you going to sit there and allow the criminal Wall Street Mafia to financially assrape your children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren with Zimbabwe Ben at the printing press happily cranking away your future and theirs just so Lord Blankfein can push a Bentley?

Wake the fuck up, people.

Email me (to right) and grow a pair already. We're taking it back. NOW.

I promise I don't bite. So this is for you, asshat at Credit Suisse who refreshes JDA all day (do they treat you well over there? You sure?). And you, PwC in Florida. And yes, even you, weirdo in Oregon who landed here Googling some awfully strange shit which I won't get into here but ended up sticking around for whatever reason.

I need every fellow financial blogger who links to me or LOLs at my inappropriateness or digs my BERNANKE 00% t-shirt to email me. You guys are going to have to step up or I'll be forced to call you out as attention whores without the cojones to back up your claims.

Operators are standing by. Well, actually, Jr Deputy Accountant will be standing by her inbox ready with the manifesto. The time for excuses is over and this isn't kindergarten. I don't know about all of you but I have a 6 year old boy who shares my last name and he is counting on me to get this right. I don't even care what your motivation is, I'm just trying to disclaim my own.

Grow a pair, bitches, the time for revolution is now.

You know what to do. Don't cry to me later when you've got an RFID chip shoved up your ass and are in a white jumpsuit doing mandatory jumping jacks in front of the Obamatron with "GS" branded on your backside.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Krupo said...

RFID tags are awesome - for getting rid of messy human inventory counts. ;)

cjn said...

There's t-shirts? Why wasn't I informed? Do I get comped?

Anonymous said...

I am confused! Do you need donations for the site? What exactly are you asking for?

W.C. Varones said...

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again


Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Krupo, you're such a Canadian sometimes :)

As for you, 10KT, as soon as I print the JDA t-shirts, of course you'll be the first to know.

Anon, I don't need donations (but hey, if you want to... haha), I have a day job. I need you to do your part. Lurking is no longer going to work. Even if it just means mentioning this site or GoldmanSachs666 to colleagues in casual conversation, it's time for people to wake up and they'll never get there if no one is paying attention.

OldSouth said...

Always happy to help, as I am one of your biggest fans.

Keep on keepin on, girlfriend!

Look for my email.

Andrea said...

Sadly, I haven't been keeping up with my rss feeds and just came across your article...studying for the cpa exam is a bitch.

Googled for something...and came across..."Jamie Dimon's TARP Warrant Trick: the Smartest Motherf&%#er in Banking Outsmarts the Treasury Again"...read some back posts...laughed...subscribed.

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