Ben Bernanke Cleared of Hanging Death, Where's Greenspan's Indictment?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009 , , , , 0 Comments

So far, we've only got one homicidal Fed Chairman. Too bad.

Catch up on the census worker who was found hanging from a tree with "Fed" scrawled across his chest:

Ben Bernanke, Cold Blooded Killer?

Listen, we know certain other Fed Chairmen have homicidal tendencies (hello Greenspan Body Count!) so this really isn't a stretch.

Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body (AP):

The FBI is investigating the hanging death of a U.S. Census worker near a Kentucky cemetery, and a law enforcement official told The Associated Press the word 'fed" was scrawled on the dead man's chest.

The body of Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old part-time Census field worker and occasional teacher, was found Sept. 12 in a remote patch of the Daniel Boone National Forest in rural southeast Kentucky. The Census has suspended door-to-door interviews in rural Clay County, where the body was found, pending the outcome of the investigation.

Investigators are still trying to determine whether the death was a killing or a suicide, and if a killing, whether the motive was related to his government job or to anti-government sentiment.

Well it turns out the guy was just trying to fake a homicide (and maybe wanted to finger a certain quasi-governmental central bank in the process?), says NYT:

The Kentucky census worker found hanging from a tree with the word “fed” scrawled on his chest staged his death to look like a homicide so that his son could collect his life insurance, the authorities said Tuesday.

“We believe this was an intentional act,” said Trooper Don Trosper, a Kentucky State Police spokesman. “We believe the aim was to take his own life.”

The naked body of the census worker, Bill Sparkman, was found Sept. 12 hanging from a tree near a cemetery in the Daniel Boone National Forest in southeastern Kentucky.

One of the witnesses who found the body said Mr. Sparkman, 51, was bound with duct tape, gagged and had an identification badge taped to his neck. A rope was tied around his neck, attached to a tree, and the word “fed” was on his chest, the police said.

If anyone finds me swinging from a tree in front of my office, please note that my life insurance policy isn't worth enough to get my kid through the next three years of elementary school, let alone a lifetime. Just in case those black helicopters decide they've had enough of my potty mouth and all.

WC Varones credits the death to Alan Greenspan, bringing the grand total of AG deaths to 118. It's almost like the guy is in a race against failing banks to see who can rack up the most points. Don't worry, AG, you'll catch up soon enough.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.