Annie Get Your Gun! And You Too, Goldman Rats!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009 , , 3 Comments

Now why would the Goldman rats feel the need to start ammo-ing up? Someone get a tip that the angry mob might be grabbing those pitchforks or what?


“I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

I called Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas van Praag to ask whether it’s true that Goldman partners feel they need handguns to protect themselves from the angry proletariat. He didn’t call me back. The New York Police Department has told me that “as a preliminary matter” it believes some of the bankers I inquired about do have pistol permits. The NYPD also said it will be a while before it can name names.

While we wait, Goldman has wrapped itself in the flag of Warren Buffett, with whom it will jointly donate $500 million, part of an effort to burnish its image -- and gain new Goldman clients. Goldman Sachs Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein also reversed himself after having previously called Goldman’s greed “God’s work” and apologized earlier this month for having participated in things that were “clearly wrong.”

Has it really come to this? Imagine what emotions must be billowing through the halls of Goldman Sachs to provoke the firm into an apology. Talk that Goldman bankers might have armed themselves in self-defense would sound ludicrous, were it not so apt a metaphor for the way that the most successful people on Wall Street have become a target for public rage.

Just a suggestion here but I have a feeling our friends at Goldman Sachs might be needing more than a few lousy pistols once America really wakes up.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


maybe they'll screw up and shoot each other.

we can only hope, Maggie... :P

Anonymous said...

There is an Abe Lincoln quote: God must love the common man, he made so many of them.

I am not going to be surprised at all if some regular schmoe who's lost it all and figures he's got nothing else to lose decides to vent on someone/go out in a blaze of glory. What goes around, generally does come around.