The FDIC Taps that Ass, Hilarity Does Not Ensue

Wednesday, January 13, 2010 , , , 0 Comments

Here's to hoping you did not follow WaMu's instructions

Oh burn. First Obama starts talking about taxing bankers' asses and now the Care Bair is coming after compensation so she can make it through the next 150 failed banks this year. This ought to work out really well.

The U.S. Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. said it would seek public input on a plan to have bank fees reflect risk-taking built into bank pay policies.

The plan, if it becomes policy, is one of a series of responses by the federal government to placate voters angry that U.S. banks had a hand in triggering a two-year recession, yet came away largely unscathed.

FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair said there was "a broad consensus of academic studies," that concluded "poorly designed compensation structures can misalign incentives and induce risk taking."

Bair said called a study of "compensation structure, rather than levels of compensation," a fair approach.

What the hell does that mean?! Seriously. I speak Fed and I speak stupid ass Washington and I might even understand what Tim Geithner is actually saying about 60% of the time but what in the high holy hell does she mean by "compensation structure rather than levels of compensation"? Anyone?!

That's what I thought. I don't think even she knew what she meant by that. Basically it feels like another poo-poo on the part of the FDIC to pretend as though it has its shit together and is prepared for another fun-filled year of bank failures.

Let me save the FDIC the "academic analysis": they themselves are a large part of the problem. And were there not a safety net the size of John Holmes' boner protecting the banks from risk, there would be no excessive risk-taking. Shit, Sheila, you owe me a consulting fee for pointing that out to you. Pull the plug on your own agency and you solve 90% of the problem. As for the other 10%, well, you're on your own, girl, I got a day job and my own shit to worry about.

I guess this is an appropriate time to point out that the Bank Fail Friday team (including yours truly) is at the ready for 2010 to bring you hot BFF action as it happens. I mean WTF else can we do at this point?

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.