The Fed Turns a $45 Billion "Profit"
This picture, unlike the Fed's BS,
never gets old
See also: advanced money laundering scheme
Pssst, Bernanke, so long as you can keep laundering it, I'll be here up your ass reminding you of what a dick you are for all of this. Unless, you know, you miss that January 31st Senate confirmation deadline and have to ride bitch to Don Kohn in the Fedmobile, in which case it'll be his ass I'm riding. Whatever. I'm a flexible girl.
Wall Street firms aren't the only banks that had a banner year. The Federal Reserve made record profits in 2009, as its unconventional efforts to prop up the economy created a windfall for the government.
The Fed will return about $45 billion to the U.S. Treasury for 2009, according to calculations by The Washington Post based on public documents. That reflects the highest earnings in the 96-year history of the central bank. The Fed, unlike most government agencies, funds itself from its own operations and returns its profits to the Treasury.
The numbers are good news for the federal budget and a sign that the Fed has been successful, at least so far, in protecting taxpayers as it intervenes in the economy -- though there remains a risk of significant losses in the future if the Fed sells some of its investments or loses money on its stakes in bailed-out firms.
Where oh where do I start with this?
First of all, can some mathlete please inflation-adjust that number? Are we talking 2008 dollars? 2009 dollars? ZimBen dollars?
Let's start with the obvious - this is an absolute fucking SCAM. Case in point:
Much of the higher earnings came about because of the Fed's aggressive program of buying bonds, aiming to push interest rates down across the economy and thus stimulate growth. By the end of 2009, the Fed owned $1.8 trillion in U.S. government debt and mortgage-related securities, up from $497 billion a year earlier. The interest income on those investments was a major source of Fed profits -- though that income comes with risks, as the central bank could lose money if it later sells those securities to reduce the money supply.
Wait a minute... the Fed hands over its excess "profits" to the Treasury, who in turn issues more debt for the Fed to buy, which in turn the Fed makes money off of that it returns to the Treasury? I feel like I just watched some really disgusting Ukranian kiddie porn flick just explaining that, ewwww...
And if most of the Fed's MBSs come from Fannie and Freddie - little more than concubines to keep the Chinese from pulling the trigger on their massive dollar-denominated investments in said concubines - then aren't those investments just as incestuous as T-bills?
I laugh in the general direction of the Fed for having the large low-hanging cojones to claim it made any sort of profit, and laugh even harder directly at the Treasury for playing along.
"Profits" LOL! Profits my ass!