The Church of Jr Deputy Accountant Latter Day Saints?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 , , , 3 Comments

Pic credit: Church planters

As many of you know, Going Concern has me doing a weekly column on non-profit accounting because no one else was available (really no one else wanted to do it and since I'm such a giving person, I volunteered my services for the greater good of the little accountants). My topic this week? Cheating 501(c)(3) rules to write checks as your own church. Rules? Pfft!

Going Concern:

I had no idea how much a minister can make but now I do. Wait a minute, this just tells me how to bypass Service rules by writing checks in the church’s name. I might totally be in the wrong line of work.

Free Church Accounting (I’m not kidding) brings us a question from “Sharon” of Corsicana, Texas:

How much money does a minister have to make in order for money to be reported?

I started my church back up after 12 years vacancy. I do not have very many members. Right now we are 3 active members and other people stop in from time to time. I do not actually receive money. Since the church is striving I use the money to pay the light bill, get the grass moved.

I took the preliminary “Are You a Tax-Exempt Church” quiz on their website and failed miserably so I guess I’d make an awful 501(c)(3) but that’s probably for the best.

If you'd like to see how to fudge the rules and fake church status from Free Church Accounting, have at it over at Going Concern. Please, or else I'm going to have to start Ebaying my collection of Fed shwag to pay the bills. Not my shred! Anything but that!

And hey, if I do decide to start a church, who is with me in burning some sacrifices on the JDA altar? Let's start with Federal Reserve Notes and work our way up to virgins and lambs. It's a process, people, be patient.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


WTF is wrong with you JDA? roflmao The only sweeter deal than being a government union employee with a defined benefit pension, lots of free time, COLA & union raises, & being wayyy overpaid is to have a tax free church!

There are no tax regs to determine if you are a charlatan, such as Elmer Gantry, Pat Robertson, Benny Hinn, Satan, et. al. Doesn't matter! EVERYTHING can be paid for and owned by the church. That's why these multi-millionaire mega church pastors and TV evangelists are always saying they are poor and humble like Jesus. They are! All the assets are on the church balance sheet and they have 100% control of that balance sheet.

/s/ In His Service :P

Anonymous said...

Some of my fishing buddies and I had an idea some years ago to start a "Church of the Rainbow". We could build ourselves a little church (some skeptics might call it a clubhouse) down on either the Current River or the Meramac River and hold services every Sunday (weather permitting - early Spring until late Fall). Our church would require that the congregation "baptize" their lines and flies in the sacred flow of the river at each service. Can you help a brother out?


Yes, Jeff, I will TOTALLY file your tax paperwork for the Church of the Rainbow. If y'all turn out to be the Chosen People, though, I want in.