TLP: Heads, Moravia Wins. Tails, Buffalo Loses.

Monday, February 22, 2010 , , 0 Comments

Now, a fight over a symbol of mediocrity has The Lazy Paperboy written all over it. Maybe in cheap, dollar store crayon, but whatever.

Anna Prior drew the meh assignment for the WSJ:

Buffalo and Moravia, N.Y., are vying for a piece of the Millard Fillmore action.

The two communities both claim this mostly forgotten president, whose very name is associated with mediocrity, and whose oft-cited greatest achievement—installing a bathtub in the White House—was a hoax perpetrated by the writer H.L. Mencken .

The U.S. Mint this week is releasing the Millard Fillmore presidential dollar coin, with an official launch ceremony on Thursday in Moravia (pop. 4,000), near his birthplace. Some people in Buffalo are miffed.

It seems Fillmore's bones rest in Buffalo and that's where he did whatever he did before falling into the presidency when Zachary Taylor died after an Independence Day milk-and-cherries binge. For his part, Fillmore failed when he ran for the office and then was out on his ass back to Buffalo afterward.

Buffalo officials are holding a ceremony just to say, "Fuck you, Moravia." Again, meh and whatever. Which sort of sums up what Americans think of the presidential coins anyway. "It's no secret that the dollar coins haven't caught on as much as we would like," Mint spokesman Tom Jurkowsky mumbled to the WSJ.

Go to it, Buffalo and Moravia, have a good time slapping each other around over Millard Fillmore. Meanwhile, Virginia and Ohio routinely jerk themselves off over being the "Mother of Presidents" and each claims eight. The only problem there is they both want the rights to William Henry Harrison, who barely counts to begin with.

The Lazy Paperboy

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.