Answering the Question "Why is the US Department of Education Packing So Much Heat?"

Saturday, March 20, 2010 , , 1 Comments

It's a legitimate question I swear.

Dave Workman wants to know:

Federal and state law across the American landscape (and certainly here in Washington State) almost uniformly declares schools to be “gun-free zones,” yet the U.S. Department of Education is in the process of purchasing more than two-dozen short-barreled police-style shotguns which are supposed to be delivered by March 22 to an address in Chicago, IL.

A source in New York stumbled over the solicitation notice, which carries the number: EDOOIG-10-000004.

The purchase is for 27 Remington Model 870 pump-action shotguns with 14-inch modified choke barrels (the legal minimum length for private citizens is 18 inches without a special license). These shotguns are to be fitted with Wilson Combat ghost ring rear sights, Knoxx adjustable stocks and Speedfeed fore-ends.

Even more intriguing is the fact that, according to the solicitation notice, these are the “only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts."

The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14" - PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT - XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID - 14" LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

The required date of delivery is March 22, 2010.

Why does the Department of Education need short-barreled shotguns? Why does that federal agency apparently already have an “existing shotgun inventory?” Apparently, this is a legitimate purchase. You be the judge (and take some advice: Don't cheat on your math test!)

No, public schools haven't gotten that bad, as much as that feels like the most logical explanation (although a reasonable person might question what 27 shotguns could do against millions of public school students). The Office of Inspector General needs them in the line of duty to defend the holy trinity of waste, fraud, and abuse of federal education funds. Seriously.

Says a Department of Education spokesperson:

The Office of Inspector General is the law enforcement arm of the U.S. Department of Education and is responsible for the detection of waste, fraud, abuse, and other criminal activity involving Federal education funds, programs, and operations. As such, OIG operates with full statutory law enforcement authority, which includes conducting search warrants, making arrests, and carrying firearms. The acquisition of these firearms is necessary to replace older and mechanically malfunctioning firearms, and in compliance with Federal procurement requirements.

The ED OIG is just restrapping, not loading up on weapons it didn't already have. Short-barreled shotguns? Are the fucking zombies running federal education grant scams?

Still, you have to admit it's kind of hot. I'll be reading that description a few more times if anyone needs me and hey, is the ED hiring?

Other fun ED projects? The Stimulus Bill gave them a whole bunch of grant money to track students "anonymously", meaning your permanent record may be more permanent than you thought. Oh well, makes the RFID upgrade easier once the little kids are of drop out of high school age:

The program provides grants to states to design, develop, and implement statewide P-20 longitudinal data systems to capture, analyze, and use student data from preschool to high school, college, and the workforce.

Baaaaah and here's to hoping you're strapped up too, America.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


malus Diaz said...

wouldn't you?

I mean nothing teaches better then a gun pointed at your face, can 'edimucate them there kids

Although, really, wtf are they doing with guns?