The Mail: Sucking Harder Than Ever

Wednesday, March 03, 2010 , , 6 Comments

 Pic credit: (ugh, sorry)

Let me tell you something: I don't get my fucking mail as is. Somehow UPS (profit-driven, publicly traded, all big bad brown) gets me my shit but the USPS can't figure it out to save their lives. My work hood mailman was confused by our garage door; without the slot to put the mail into when the door is open, he would stand there for at least 4 minutes, absolutely mystified. I stood there, my hand out as if to say give me the mail though I didn't specifically say as much. Nothing. Standing there. Baffled. How about give me my fucking mail? That doesn't work either.

Anyway. They are "thinking" about cutting Saturday delivery to take care of their budget problem. That's great but I don't think it's enough. I already don't get mail at least two Saturdays out of the month.


The U.S. Postal Service must make drastic changes to avert a projected loss of $238 billion over the next decade, including closing post office branches and raising prices, Postmaster General John Potter said Tuesday.

The Postal Service also released further details about its proposal to scale back to five-day delivery, saying it wants to eliminate Saturday deliveries. The move from six days to five could save the Postal Service $3.3 billion a year, Potter said.

A $4.8 million study commissioned by the Postal Service predicts mail volume will fall from 177 billion pieces in 2009 to 150 billion pieces in 2020, while costs for labor and fuel rise. The Postal Service is not funded by taxpayers and must rely on revenue from stamps and other postal services. It has borrowed about $10 billion from the U.S. Treasury and expects to borrow $3 billion more this year.

Blame Sarbanes-Oxley and, um, keep complaining about it? I'm not sure what else can be done at this point. If you have suggestions... ?

Half of my local Post Office came out to track down the package I never got. Twice. As if I made up the part about not getting it. Twice.

I still haven't seen my shit (that was mailed in time for Christmas, if you trust the source, which I'm pretty sure I do). Not that I am bitter or anything either.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


stan said...

you know, these crackhead mofugs have lost my BILLS at least 6-7 times in the last 6 months. i don't pay attention to when shit is due, because i have more important things to pay attention...and i get a bill TO TELL ME WHEN SHIT IS DUE! i've had service shut-off letters show up for unpaid bills because I NEVER GOT THEM FROM USPS!

with that rant said, i feel that i'd be fine if they shut down saturday service...just one more day i still won't get my bills, either way. thank the Maker i finally got my reminder scheduler back up and running after the last pc crash, to remind me to pay bills online. FDSK-USPS.

Anonymous said...

they don't take as much pride in doing a job well done anymore

Take a look at the man in the photo. I don't know if he really gives a shit but by appearances, it looks like he's trying to do a good job. He looks like he's got his shit together. Shaved, tie, hat. Probably doesn't complain about every.... little.... fucking..... thing. Just an impression. But, compare that to what most of the current USPS employees look like today. Don't get me wrong. I think some of them do a damned good job. My old buddy from Brazil was frickin' amazed by the USPS here but then again her experiences were from the third world so everything is relative. But, these fuckers from post WWII look like they could work circles around most of the people you see today in the post office.

Winston_Smith said...

To continue my crusade to defend everything indefensible, I'd like to point out that UPS isn't mandated to serve every household in the country with service to their doorstep - there are parts of the country where they "subcontract" out to USPS (ie, take your box to the post office and mail it). If the post office wants to become profitable/cut losses, how about they raise third-class mail rates to match first-class? Seems like I get about 10x as much third-class, and most of it goes straight into the recycling bin before I get in my front door.

Awesome idea, Winston. Will it save them? Probably not. But at least it would save me from some BS junk mail...

Anonymous said...

To give the post office the needed business, do what I do..

When I get a piece of unwanted solicitation (usually an offer for a credit card or windows or automobile undercoating or auto extended warranty) I look for a postage paid return envelope.

I attach said postage paid to the face of a brick which has been wrapped in plain brown paper (grocery bag works nicely). Drop in mail box - enjoy creamy sense of satisfaction knowing you've returned the favor to those who send out mounds of junk mail AND as a bonus, you've given the post office business on the junk mailer's dime.

The Problem Solvers

Anonymous said...

fightin' fire with fire and keeping the mail man in a job - it's a win/win!