The SEC Has a Porn Problem

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 , , , 2 Comments

 Don't tease me with your glasses like that, Mary
you know what it does to me

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL and LMFAO!! Now I get why no one at the SEC has prosecuted Patrick Byrne and shut down the accounting Frankenstein that is Overstock.com, they've been too busy watching porn. I know, it's a slippery slope, SEC, with you on that. You should see my vacation photos.

Hey! HuffPo brings us the story (and fuck, I can't stop laughing):


Nearly a dozen SEC workers were found to have viewed pornography at work, according to a story originally reported by the Washington Times.

But the problems may be even worse than that. Gawker got a hold of documents that detail 16 investigations into employees and contractors who viewed porn a stunning 8,273 times. Among the revelations are names of illicit websites accessed at work. According to Gawker's John Cook, the documents include reports from "one man who said his daily porn viewing at work was limited to 'no longer than an hour and a half a day.; The man told investigators that his porn habit grew out of looking at photos of men in bathing suits, which is sometimes known as 'gateway porn.'"

Ok first of all, what exactly is gateway porn? The .jpgs? Don't move on to .wmv or you're screwed. And for the love of God don't get a BlackBerry or you'll be on the thing all day burning up your unlimited data plan.

Wha? See, this is why the SEC needs Safe for Work Porn. It's an improvement (though not by much, admittedly, but don't look at me, everything is safe at my work since I'm self-employed. JDA: 1 SEC freaks: 0)

Gawker has a whole list of the sick SEC freaks' favorites including (but certainly not limited to):

ladyboyjuice.com (what's that?)
anal-sins.com (I know what that is, no need to explain thx)
spankwire.com
hotgoo.com

The list goes on but I'll spare you, I already rank way too high in Google for "jerking off" as is.

*Legal disclaimer: JDA gets all her porn from one source and has seen his ID so he's legit, leave me alone.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

left hand or right hand?

jinksto said...

Sheesh you coulda linked them rather than just listing them.