TLP: Ask For The Top Bunk, If It Comes To That

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 , , , 16 Comments

ashjian tea party
Wannabe candidate Scott Ashjian now has not just the Tea Party mad at him for running a U.S. Senate campaign under their banner. He's also potentially facing criminal charges over an accusation that he wrote a bad check.


Scott Ashjian, the Tea Party candidate running for Senate in Nevada, could soon face a felony charge.

He's accused of writing a bad check for $5000 through his asphalt business. The Clark County District Attorney has filed paperwork requesting Ashjian's arrest, but is still awaiting a signature from a judge.

A spokesperson for the DA's office tells CNN these types of cases are often dismissed without charges if the debt is paid. So far, no word on whether Ashjian plans to settle up for the alleged debt.

That's not all.

The Nevada businessman-turned-candidate is also under fire from Tea Party organizations who have crafted an ad telling Ashjian to "get lost."

The groups insist Ashjian is a pretender who's only running in order to siphon votes from conservatives.

Ashjian apparently has some things to tend to, politically and with the authorities. Getting bounced from the ballot for not being a true teabagger is one thing. Learning about teabagging from your cellmate is another.

The Lazy Paperboy

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

Would it have been too much to ask that the plumber put the stool where the sink is at and the sink where the stool is at? I wonder what it is like to be in bed while another man takes a shit within two feet of my head.

W.C. Varones said...


That's for blumpkin comfort.

Anonymous said...

Once again, I had to consult the Urban Dictionary...

you kids and your "fap" and your "blumpkin" (chuckle)

That is just about the nastiest fucking thing I've ever read.

Obviously you don't know what a Birmingham Booty Call is, then.

Anonymous said...

Oh God help me - do I take this bait or not?

Ask TLP about taking my bait, he can advise you on those matters.

And keep in mind that I work from home so nothing is NSFW in my little world. I'm beginning to think some things should be...

Anonymous said...

Jesus H. Christ - is that even humanly possible?

I'd rather not find out.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, don't want to be caller or the callee...
"And keep in mind that I work from home so nothing is NSFW in my little world. I'm beginning to think some things should be..."

Uh, yeah, you need to self-regulate your surfing habits.

Do you have nightmares? Just askin'

I have been on the Internet for a LONG time, I'm pretty much immune to it now.

The only nightmares I get are central bankers invading dreamland when I've been reading Bernanke speeches before bed.

Then again, I don't spend too much time on Urban Dictionary these days... for good reason (as you have learned. You're welcome)

Anonymous said...

Well here's your chance folks... cross "blumpkin" with "Birmingham booty call" and invent some new weirdo act that crosses prison (bondage I guess would do for those not in stir), homo blow job, shitting and an electronic device crammed up one or more asses and you too can get an entry in the Urban Dictionary. What the hell, mix in a chimpanzee for good measure and make it totally off the chart funky. Hurry before someone beats you to it.

Anonymous said...

"Today, I almost dread what could come next."

Please, for my sake, get her off of there... I'm not going to sleep well tonight... I begging you...

There is already an Urban Dictionary entry for that (care to guess who wrote it? I don't think you need a hint)

Fiscal incest

(don't worry, it's safe for work. Unless you work at the Fed bwhahahaha)

Anonymous said...

Fiscal incest

...and that's why we love JDA!

I still think the plumber who set up that sink and toilet could have reversed the arrangement.

W.C. Varones said...

I wrote the entry for lesbotism.

Anonymous said...

Creativity that has run amok LMAO