TLP: A Hooker and a Hurricane! (Plus Boring Stuff About Political Guys)

spitzer and rove scandals
I will admit it right up front: this is fucking lazy. A post about a pair of newspaper articles reviewing two new books by insiders in recent political scandals, books I haven't read.

But that's what you get from The Lazy Paperboy when the stories hit the news on the same day. Maybe I'll skim the indexes, you know, for free. While I drink bookstore coffee.

The scandals in question involve Eliot Spitzer, the former Wall Street scourge who resigned as New York governor after expending his excess liquidity with "the woman identified as Kristen in the affidavit"; and George W. Bush, who also formerly worked in government.

The books are written by former aides to both men. Spitzer calls the account by his ex-confidant Lloyd Constantine "self-serving and largely inaccurate." Karl Rove, for his part, takes the blame for fucking up the PR after Hurricane Katrina and when Bush was accused of making shit up about scary bombs and starting a war. Fun fact: both books feature teary drama queens.

Danny Hakim of the NYT talked to Constantine and let him weasel a bit about missing what was going on, but also recounts what may be one of the all-time best takes on why a governor would hang with hookers.

“I was there for every minute of it, but it was over so fast and had gone so badly off track, I was sort of dazed,” he said in an interview. “I was trying to figure out what had happened.” ...

Mr. Constantine offers one diagnosis for Mr. Spitzer’s tempestuous behavior that perhaps only a wealthy Manhattanite could suggest: acute lack of tennis. Mr. Spitzer dropped his weekly game with Mr. Constantine in 2006, worried that a tender hamstring would cause him to hobble on the campaign trail. That “deprived Eliot of an important physical release,” Mr. Constantine writes.

Peter Baker, also in the Times, gives Rove the standard "political maestro" treatment ... "hero to conservatives and villain to liberals" for putting W in the White House. Twice, for fuck's sake.

Big news: Bush probably wouldn't have attacked Iraq if he hadn't believed in imaginary WMDs. Maybe the jogging, mountain biking and T-ball gave this guy a little too much physical release.

The Lazy Paperboy

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

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