Your Bailout Dollars Hard at Work: Why Sell Cars When You Can Google Sex Tapes?

Monday, March 15, 2010 , , , 5 Comments

edwards rielle

I caught a Chevrolet dealership in Georgia Googling sex tapes in the middle of the day (shame on you, dirty car boys) and decided to do a little digging. Hardy Chevrolet (insert juvenile joke here) has bailout ties but I'm sure their Googling habits have absolutely nothing to do with it, right?

HuffPo September 25, 2008:

Finally, there are 3,796 Chevrolet dealerships in the US (down from 4,063 a year ago), and yesterday the world's top-selling Chevy dealership group announced the closing of its 13 stores.

Dealer "Bill Heard Enterprises" has been a target of the Georgia Governor's Office of Consumer Affairs.

That office was seeking more than $50 million in penalties for deceptive marketing and alleged signature forgery, but that suit will fall through if the company declares bankruptcy.

The closing affects about 2,700 employees at stores in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Nevada, Tennessee and Texas. The group ranked No. 13 on the Automotive News list of the top 125 US dealership groups, with 2007 group revenue of $2.13 billion.

GM swore it would keep Bill Heard running and apparently it managed to do just that, giving the dealership plenty of time to look for sex tapes on the Internet and somehow end up on fringe financial blogs like this one. So glad our bailout money is going towards such useful activities.

Oh and they must have safe search turned off over there because yours truly tried to Bing the phrase and was cockblocked by her own laptop AT HOME. Dirty dirty, Hardy Chevrolet, here I thought I was bad.

Personally I don't want to see a Rielle Hunter/John Edwards sex tape but if anyone knows where I can get my hands on Mark Sanford's......

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm going to stick up for the guys in car sales here. Car guys are among the dirtiest on the planet where it comes to regular hetro man on woman let's get it on and bang the shit out of each other. Nothing usually too weird - maybe girl on girl to get things heated up and then girl on boy on girl three way. Bail out or no - this profession has proudly been this way ever since their great great great grandpappys were selling mules and horses to 49'ers and I am proud of them. Long live the tacky tie, Village People looking mustaches, green jacket at St. Patrick's day, can I interest you in an undercoating at half price, yes if you turn your back I'm gonna hit on your pretty barely legal daughter.... Long live the car guys.

Jeff

Were you ever able to buy a car at these dealerships, Jeff? Sounds pretty busy with all the scheming for girl-on-girl, FMF, teenbait and hetero humping going on. Just think of all the sales that won't get made if these guys actually find the John Edwards sex tape.

Undercoating, indeed.

Anonymous said...

I just help them finance the sales. :>) Car salesmen are almost as dirty as aluminum siding salesmen. Here at least, both types tend to blow a large portion of their incomes in the local strip joints.

Well, if you're not interested in the undercoating - how's about I throw in an extended warranty for half price via US Fidelis? But you have to act now 'cause this offer won't last when my boss gets back into town! heh, heh, heh.

Uncle Sam subsidizes all kinds of shit and has for a very long time. Just look at the Farm Bill and Conservation Reserve programs as long standing examples. About time some horny and tacky car salesmen got some of that, right?
life imitates art far more than art imitates life

Anonymous said...

The ONLY way to get these guys interested in not surfing porn is if you wave some dollars under their noses. That will always distract them because they know that without bucks there will be no pussy and he who has the pussy in the end - wins. Shit, I knew a lifer in the Navy who spent a large portion of his time each day surfing porn and selling off surplus shit on E-Bay while stationed IN HAWAII on the taxpayer's dime so it don't get too much more subsidized than that, right?

Anonymous said...