Shia LaBeouf Pimps Out Gordon Gekko For Stock Picks That Get Him 2000% Returns (Yeah Right)

If you believe this, I have a bridge to sell you. And I also have a large swinging dick to sell Shia whenever he is ready for it but I digress.


If you want to play the stock market like Shia LaBeouf, then prepare to zig when the others zag.

"I made most of my money by contrarian investing," the actor said when queried by WalletPop at the Cannes Film Festival this week. "Nobody was putting money into financials, then financials exploded."

He had help. As LaBeouf was preparing to film Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, which premiered here, he worked with traders and studied for the broker exam. "I was surrounded by a lot of smart people who made picks for me, and they were incentivized to do so because I was the conduit to their hero."

That would be Gordon Gekko, the oily wheeler-dealer reprised by Michael Douglas from the 1987 Wall Street original. "I would tell them make me money and I'll take you on the set to meet Gekko," added LaBeouf

Speaking of Gordon Gekko, Douglas told Esquire that Shia turned $20,000 into $380,000 in the short time he worked with now laid off traders to train for Wall Street 2. Financials, eh Shia? Does this mean you made 2000% returns on Citigroup when it was about to fall off the exchange? Just curious. Show us what you are working with, Shia, we all want to see it.

Even Bernie Madoff couldn't claim returns like that.

Dork. I'm waiting for the E! True Hollywood story that goes from Even Stevens to GQ to whoring out his ass on a West Hollywood alley to pay for his crack habit.

Full disclosure: author is long West Hollywood crack-cocaine and KY

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.