South Carolina Wins for Weirdest Political Shenanigans in History

Friday, June 11, 2010 , , 5 Comments

So it's more South Carolina political drama but this time it has nothing to do with mistresses, political bloggers, or Sarah Palin. But it does involve porn, naturally.

Who is this Alvin Greene guy and how in the hell could he afford the $10,000 fee to run for Senate without a job?

To make matters worse, Greene is currently battling a felony charge of showing porn to a college student. Why is that a felony? Oh well. Greene did not hire his own counsel but instead has a public defender on his case. Sounds just MADE for a career in politics if you ask me. Sorry, bro, but you fucked it up. You're supposed to wait until AFTER you have been elected to get the felony porn charge. Duh.

Calls are mounting for an investigation into Alvin Greene, the candidate who surprised pretty much everyone by winning the South Carolina Democratic primary for the United States Senate on Tuesday.

State Democratic officials have urged Mr. Greene to quit the contest against Senator Jim DeMint, a Republican, and top lawmakers, including Representative James E. Clyburn, began suggesting on Thursday that Mr. Greene was a “plant.”

Mr. Clyburn, the House Democratic majority whip, called for a federal investigation because of reports that Mr. Greene, who told television reporters and others that he is unemployed, somehow paid the more than $10,000 filing fee to run for the Senate.

“There were some real shenanigans going on in the South Carolina primary,” Mr. Clyburn said on a radio show. “I don’t know if he was a Republican plant; he was someone’s plant.”

Did, uh, ANYONE run against him in this primary or what?

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


OldSouth said...

And, for further entertainment last evening, Olbermann on MSNBC declared that he would still vote for this guy over Jim Dement!

Too much koolaid consumed over too long a period.

Rots the brain and soul both...

W.C. Varones said...

What's "potato?"

Is that some kind of racial slur?

No idea, took it from his Facebook page.

elf2006real said...

Geez...why can't they have normal above board politics like say Chicago or my own New Jersey?

You can under$tand it all at lea$st..

Sacred Honor compels me as an Irishman to object to the use of the Sacred Potato in something as scurrilous as politics!! I take offense, Sir!

(I am also glad there's no potato to porn link, yet...)


Okay, you know what... I love this! I love it so much I'm going to volunteer to blog and campaign for Mr. Potato in the fall. This is such a good story it's making my mind go in a million different directions at once. And Keith and the Dems being all upset is... damn, I don't know... what's more than precious? And the questions? Just the questions themselves are maybe the best I've ever seen:

1. Where did he get the $10k to enter the race? Seriously? That's someone's question here? LMFAO.

2. Is he a RNC plant? I have two responses to that one. A. Lord, I sure do hope so. In fact, if he was, I'm voting for those guys again. And B. Like that's the salient issue here?

3. Did he hold rallies or meetings? I would have told him to answer that this way: "No, Keith... Our campaign research showed that the American people are tired of rallies and meetings. In fact, they're even tired of giving a rat's ass who the candidate is."

4. Can you confirm that you have a public defender? I feel like I've just seen "obtuse" for the very first time... like it's a color.

5. And someone is calling for an investigation? Oh, hell yes let's have an investigation... a full blown investigation, Ken Starr style. Fox News can take the Pro-Potato side of the argument... Hannity can have him on as a guest and try to make him look like a man of the people... they needed a replacement for Joe the Plumber anyway, right?

And Keith, Chris, Rachel and the rest can accuse the RNC of planting him, and other irrelevant stuff like that. He won 60% of the vote guys... that's a mandate if I've ever seen one. I'd say DeMint is in serious trouble.

Alvin... challenge DeMint to a debate right away. Whatever he says about you, respond by calling him a racist. And here are your positions on the issues:

1. BP - Clean that shit up.
2. Financial Reform - Clean that shit up.
3. The Foreclosure Crisis - Clean that shit up.
4. Afghanistan - Clean that shit up.
5. The Federal Reserve - Clean that shit up.
6. Tim Geithner - Clean that shit up.
7. Bank Accounting - Clean that shit up.

See what I mean... I think we have a real winner here. Come on... which one of his positions do you disagree with... go ahead... I'm listening.

Yeah, let's have an investigation... I'll be following that for sure. Because here's what we're going to learn in no uncertain terms.

1. It doesn't matter who put this guy in the race, the point is that the DNC didn't give a crap, didn't pay attention... and is incompetent beyond anyone's imagination. Yoohoo! Obama administration? Where were you while all this was happening? Which one of your Harvard boys was in charge of watching state primaries? Unfuckingbelievable!

2. The people don't really care any more who's in office because we've heard so much unadulterated claptrap coming out of politicians mouths for so wrong that as far as I'm concerned you can run an actual PLANT for the Senate, and only a few would be able to tell. No one cares anymore... get it. We don't feel the slightest bit of connection to our Democracy. Everyone in DC... just go back to blowing a banker and let me know when I can go pay per view.

3. The media is collectively clown like. Keith... how could you be surprised by this? Weren't you covering the campaign? Why hadn't you had him on the show already? You've had time to air some unbelievably ridiculous nonsense... where were you here? Don't you care about South Carolina senators? Or did you just see a black guy whose a Democrat and figure everything was fine?

Politicians and the media feigning outrage over this, demanding investigations and the like is like adding insult to injury. It's them that brought him. Them that have made this possible. Just wait... it won't be the last time... Palin/Plumber in 2012?

Hang in there Alvin! I'm rooting for you.