How Could It Be That Ben Bernanke Isn't Doing Enough?!

If you ask me he has done quite enough outside of the reasonable bounds of his position as the Chairman of the Dirty Fed and could do us all a favor by doing a little less tyvm.

Lloyd Chapman seems to disagree with me in HuffPo and even writes a letter to our dear Zimbabwe Ben (good luck, I've tried that a couple times and it doesn't seem to work but hopefully he at least got the birthday card) asking for some small business help. Beg for it, Lloyd, just go lick the marble temple and say "Do it for small business, ZB!"

Here's part of the letter:
It appears we are sliding into another recession and I have a simple suggestion that will redirect more money into the middle class and create more jobs than any policy proposal the Obama Administration has put forth to date. Since you acknowledged that you are willing to take extraordinary measures, why doesn't the Obama Administration consider not giving federal small business contracts to Fortune 500 firms, foreign companies and other large businesses? I realize that you control monetary policy, but as the nation's chief economist, and as one who advocates for fiscal policy, you could have an impact on this issue.

In March of 2005, the Small Business Administration (SBA) Office of Inspector General released Report 5-15, which states, "One of the most important challenges facing the Small Business Administration and the entire Federal government today is that large businesses are receiving small business procurement awards and agencies are receiving credit for these awards." ( The SBA Inspector General has listed this problem as the number one management challenge facing the agency for the past five consecutive years. (

Since 2003, there have been over a dozen federal investigations which have found Fortune 500 firms and thousands of large companies around the world have received federal small business contracts. Some of those firms are: Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Raytheon, L-3 Communications, British Aerospace (BAE), Northrop Grumman, General Electric, Booz Allen Hamilton, Thales Communications, General Dynamics, and Dell Computer. (

According to the US Census Bureau and the Small Business Administration Office of Advocacy, small businesses create over 90 percent of all net new jobs. When it comes to creating jobs, the focus must be on small business. (
Please, don't encourage the man, he can't save half the economy let alone 3/4ths of it and even if he could, it really isn't in his mandate to do so. Why egg him on any more than we already have? Does Lloyd Chapman know what Ben Bernanke's job is? Does Ben Bernanke even know what his job is anymore?

I know what it is: not blowing the dollar and maintaining decent employment numbers. He's failed in both so how the fuck are you going to write him a letter asking him to do more that he isn't necessarily Congressionally-mandated to do? So what, we can then file an FOIA to figure out which small businesses got what easy Dirty Fed money? Then what? The renter bailout? The hamsters with PTSD bailout? Everyone is suffering and last I checked, it was not exactly Ben Bernanke's job to save them. Don't fucking give the man any ideas, what are you doing?!

Still, stop tripping, Lloyd, Bernanke will give up the goods eventually it's just that he'll do it in the form of free easy Fed money at 0% that the banks can "borrow" and then use to buy Treasurys (a.k.a. the US government credit card that's getting declined all over the place *ahemChina*) so OBAMA can bail out small business. Is that still Bernanke bailing out small business? Maybe. That's called jerking off with your left hand, Lloyd, it works pretty well for these asshats so don't you worry about small business, the left hand is on its way.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.