TLP: Giant Sucking Sound

political chaos
You can't miss it. We're a month from Election Day and candidates, campaigns and politicians of every stripe are imploding. What fun.

For sheer entertainment, the Irish pair of O'Donnell and O'Keefe are really unbeatable. Tea Party curiosity Christine O'Donnell is the gift that keeps on giving for Democrats in Delaware, where she is trying to win a U.S. Senate seat. As if witchcraft and masturbation were not enough — hello, are they ever? — now she is faced with accusations of resumé-doctoring.

And the equally curious James O'Keefe, fresh from taking down ACORN and skirting prosecution, seems to have erred when he shed the pimp look and apparently considered trying to work a hot strawberries-and-champagne program on a CNN reporter who was working on a documentary about conservative activists.

The California gubernatorial race offered the spectacle of billionaire Republican nominee Meg Whitman gasping for air after allegations of poor treatment by a former maid raised the issue of her immigration status when she worked for Whitman. Come on, Meg! Going cheap on the help is always a loser politically. And no one is going to feel sorry for a billionaire.

On the Democratic side in that race, Jerry Brown decided the best way to get attention was to piss on the most popular politician his party has produced in decades. Bubba shrugged it off (he shrugs everything off) and Brown was at least smart enough to apologize.

President Obama tried to get back in the campaign groove, pining for two years ago by traveling the country on behalf of Democratic candidates and his own foundering initiatives and wound up being beaten up by supporters. When someone on your own side says she's exhausted from supporting you, more than a little regrouping is in order.

Meanwhile, Obama's four-and-a-half-fingered right hand, Rahm Emanuel, worked the most embarrassing political strip tease since Michael Steele was in Los Angeles. The White House chief of staff dragged out his decision to leave Washington and return to Chicago to run for mayor, succeeding in showing himself to be widely disliked, especially by colleagues.

And even Jimmy Carter, who gets much better reviews for what he's done since he left the White House than for what he did while he was there, is believing his own PR. Touting a White House memoir, Carter bragged about his "superior" ex-presidency one day and fell into spin control the next. After which, he promptly found himself in the hospital with stomach problems.

Yeah, Jimmy, I know the feeling.

The Lazy Paperboy

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

2 comments:

W.C. Varones said...

Hey I found a campaign theme song for Christine O'Donnell.

A classic. But I have to say: that song brings a totally different tea party girl to mind for me.