Psst, The Fed Is Not Going to Monetize

Everyone and their mother is saying the Fed is about to start up a fresh round of money-printing er buying up everything that isn't nailed down er easing of one sort or another and I'm not scared anymore because I know that is exactly what they want you to believe.

They would like us to believe that they have arrows left in their quiver. They do not. Rates are still at zero, the free money is pouring out, banks are getting better cash back on their deposits at the Fed than we are at them and they are not cashing out their chips anytime soon when it comes to security purchases that they say are necessary. Somehow they would like us to believe that they have other weapons and are not afraid to use them. I think the nuance is in the have other weapons part and not necessarily the severity of whatever the Fed could possibly have up their sleeve next dismal FOMC announcement.

They would like us to believe that they are ready with the monetary firehose extinguisher because they really do not have control of the fire. To think otherwise would be foolish. They have been throwing buckets of money at this blaze and nothing is working, so they'd like you to believe that they're actually in control of the thing so you don't flip out and take care of the fire your own damn self. If their incompetence were at all apparent to the masses, you can guarantee Ben Bernanke wouldn't have a pole to slide down come morning.

They would like us to believe that they will monetize everything that is not nailed down because you believing is worth nearly as much as them doing except without as destructive consequences. See also: point one, they have nothing left to launch. The monetary WMDs are dry, there is no exit strategy, their political capital has been spent and they are tired from fighting both the economy and our bullshit for the last two years. So they'd like for you to think that they are going to come hard with a second round of special Fed stimulus as only they can but no one is buying it. No one except the paid shills who keep jerking themselves off in the media over just how big a stimulus package Bernanke is going to drop. Please. Open your fucking eyes, people, they got nothin'.

It's all shooting blanks at this point and everyone knows it. Reinvesting proceeds from previous easing into new easing? Please that's pathetic.

If the Fed is going to bring it, I want Bernanke and Yellen to wheel out a big fucking monetary cannon and blast one so hard all of us end up covered in shrapnel claiming PTSD on our Obamacare plans. If the Fed cannot handle this, perhaps they should A) shut the fuck up and stop trying to send these coy signals when, in fact, they lack the large central banker cojones required to shut all of us up with what will go down as the Money Bomb Heard Round the World and B) actually fucking pull the damn trigger already.

Also I'm still waiting to see an exit plan, boys. Can someone please hit me up when y'all have figured that out? I'm getting tired standing around like a jackass growing cobwebs and trying to spend 'em before you devalue 'em over here.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


elf2006real said...

JDA I'm curious. What's your plan?

Mine's the gold standard (silver as well of course but let's not confuse the peasants) and we pay off the debt to China/Japan with our huge supplies of energy - NG, coal, oil - over time.

This would avoid a world fucking war.
Which History suggests is coming.

But I return - what's your plan?