DC Metro Passengers Get Searched For "No Specific Threat"

 Terrorists didn't do this

Remember, kids, it's important not to let the terrorists win. Now bend over.

Reuters:

Officers will start random bag inspections on the sprawling Washington subway system, the Washington Metro Transit Police said on Thursday, a week after a man was arrested for making bomb threats to the rail system.

Metrorail police officers plan to randomly select bags before passengers enter subway stations and they will swab them or have an explosives-sniffing dog check the bags, according to the Metro police.

There is "no specific or credible threat to the system at this time," Metro said in a statement. Passengers who refuse to have their bags inspected will be denied entry into the subway system.

In honor of this occasion, yours truly has decided that any Metro trip from now on will include a carry on packed to the gills with all sorts of curious and exciting (but not terrorizing) items including but not limited to: fake rubber dicks, stacks of fake money (for my day job picketing the Fed Board of Governors with a "Free Money for Bankers" sign), cat o' nine tails, jugs of XXX drinkin' liquor, and/or massive amounts of "used" granny panties.

Bring it, fuckers.

Update: WC Varones reminds us of a long-lost document called the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution, perhaps you've heard of it:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Did we have to burn it to keep warm? Thank God we're winning the war on terror, God bless America!

Recommended reading: Semayne's Case, on which the Fourth Amendment is based. How quickly we forget from where we came.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

7 comments:

W.C. Varones said...

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Nothing like a ride on the TMI Express ... I believe I have a ticket for you.

You might recognize some of the inappropriate items in my bag, I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you.

elf2006real said...

If the people through their elected politicians would let the Military and the Intel Community take off the gloves and win you wouldn't have TSA's hands up your business.

Believe it or not, it will only get worse until you the people get that message across.

Anonymous said...

Start packing fresh dog crap in your bags...see how long theses searches last

Tsada said...

I am anxiously awaiting the 8x10 glossies of Metro Police inspecting the rubber dildos. Get on it, STAT. (The picture, not the dildo, that is.)

Scott R said...

And when someone says NO, gets tazed, shot, beat down then court if the person survives, Interesting what Scotus will say.