WC Varones Spreads Christmas Cheer to the Kansas City Fed

Jesus used to save but now that he only gets .001%, he spends.

If you've been in a cave for the last week, the Fed tried to steal Christmas from one small Oklahoma bank by forcing them to take down the Bible verse of the day from their website and various Christmas items like crosses and employee buttons, claiming the items clashed with Reg B's anti-discrimination rules. Thankfully this matter did not disappear and we're all in a foaming-at-the-mouth outrage over it, which always makes my job that much more interesting.

Fire the examiner!

In the spirit of being helpful, JDA's favorite SoCal shit disturber WC Varones took it upon himself to send a nice note to Kansas City Fed President Thomas Hoenig, who allegedly really hates looking like a big dumb asshole according to our unreliable sources. Hopefully he takes this as WCV trying to prevent him looking like a big dumb asshole in the future and redeeming his big dumb asshole status by firing the idiot bank examiner who thought this would be a good idea. See? We're helpful.

Don't mess with Jesus, people. Seriously. He's already going to be livid when he comes back.

from      W.C. Varones
to          thomas.m.hoenig@kc.frb.org
subject  First Amendment

Dear Mr. Hoenig,

I read with great dismay the story of your bank examiner who arrogantly, and with callous disregard for the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, prohibited the free exercise of religion in a bank within your jurisdiction.

I'm sure you appreciate that the Fed is already under intense public scrutiny due to its gross bungling of the real estate bubble and ensuing financial crisis. The last thing we need is another embarrassment over a petty tyrant in your branch.

I hope you will see fit to set an example of good governance by firing the person responsible for this outrage.

Merry Christmas!

Best regards,

W.C. Varones

Micah 5:2
“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me
one who will be ruler over Israel,
whose origins are from of old,
from ancient times. ”

(p.s. to any Dirty Fed asshat reading this: YOU are not the ruler over Israel of whom this verse speaks. Just FYI, motherfucker.)

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

<3 it. That fired on all 8 pistons.

Them Fed boys picked the wrong Okies to fuck with.

Can't believe those KC Fed examiners have their heads *that* far up their asses.

Hello.... McFly....... K.C. and Oklahoma is part of the Bible belt.

Anonymous said...
Anonymous said...

son of a Midwestern plumber born into a large Iowa family, got drafted by Uncle Sam and did a year in Vietnam with an artilery company.... hmmmm, interesting

my guess is he probably wouldn't do it publicly but Mr. Hoenig may have already put his boot up some pinhead's ass.

I'm pretty sure that's a safe guess.

What I'd give to have been a fly on THAT wall when little Bank Examiner #254 got his talking to...

Anonymous said...

think Bank Examiner #254 was made to say "Thank you, Sir - May I have another?" after said boot went up said ass?

Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year.