Clergy in NYC Perform a JP Morgan Chase Exorcism

 pic credit: the eXile

Maybe I'm a heathen but I gave into the banking interests some time last year (after years without a bank account because my moral fortitude dictated I would not let my deposits be used to fractionally fuck debtors) and have to say I've had absolutely no issues with Chase. When I moved to DC late last year, I kept my Chase account despite the fact that there is no branch within 50 or even 200 miles of the Secret Lair (talk about inconvenient). With online banking, who needs it?

I know what you're saying... JDA, how could you give in to the evil bastards?! Listen, I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night and I am smart enough to know that if when the shit hits the fan, I want my FRNs to be in the vault that belongs to the guys who own the FRN factory. You with me?

Anyway, bless these guys' little hearts for trying regardless.


A group of clergy gathered together on the steps of JP Morgan Chase on Park Ave in New York City to perform an exorcism on the bank. They said that the bank was possessed by the demons of "selfishness and avarice" because according to the group's new study, only 6% of New York homeowners seeking a loan mod have gotten it in the past year. The exorcism happens at 0:57. No satanic spirits fly out of the banks, but money does fly out when the clergy closes down their bank accounts.

Clergy Perform Exorcism On Chase Bank To Banish 'Demons Of Selfishness, Avarice' from New York Communities for Change on Vimeo.

I can't believe the big evil banksters haven't thought to securitize our souls and sell insurance against them to Satan yet. Seems a no-brainer to me.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Bob English said...

It's true: Goldman underwrote $4 billion in collateralized debt obligations stuffed with the unpledged souls of all US Congresspersons, mostly with maturities in the 5 to 15 year tenors, then bought credit default swaps from AIG on them financed with the very cash flow the CDOs generated. After the TARP vote, it became clear that the souls were encumbered, having already been pledged to Satan. When the CDOs defaulted, Goldman made collateral calls on AIG. When AIG couldn't pony up, Underlloyd Blankenfein dialed Satan's Little Helper at the NY Fed for help. He was a bit busy preparing for his new job as Treasury Secretary, but did manage to get the CDOs stuffed into Maiden Lane II, with a 100% payout on the CDS insurance to Goldman.

chairmanben said...

Bless the presses with holy water ( anything to keep them cool)