Here's Why State Finances are Doomed...

Masturbation is bad for your eyesight you know

... state government workers spend work hours Googling shit like this.

Let's ignore the fact that they are Googling masturbation at all during work hours, how stupid can you be to need to Google whether or not masturbating feels good?

We're doomed.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.