OMG! Obama Talks Debt With One Side of His Mouth, Stimulus With the Other

Quick poll: any JDA readers actually surprised to find this out?

The result in Google News reads Amid debt talks, Obama calls for stimulus while the actual article reads Obama call for stimulus may complicate debt talks. Whatever they want to call it, Reuters has the latest:

U.S. President Barack Obama called on Wednesday for new steps to spur job growth and tax hikes on the rich, hardening a stance that will likely complicate deficit reduction talks with Republicans.

Obama's call came as the International Monetary Fund and the Treasury Department urged Washington to reach a budget deal that would pave the way for Congress to raise the United States' $14.3 trillion borrowing limit by August 2.

Failure to increase the debt ceiling, which caps how much the United States can borrow, would likely trigger a default that could plunge the United States into a new recession and roil global financial markets, the Obama administration and economists warn.

Oh dear.

Obama then used his young daughters as an example for how Congress can get things done.

Since deficit-reduction talks collapsed last week, Republicans and Democrats have made no progress on a deal to allow Congress to extend the government's borrowing authority.

But Obama, invoking the example of his daughters Sasha and Malia, told Congress to do its job: "They don't wait until the night before. They're not pulling all-nighters. They're -- they're 13 and 10. You know, Congress can do the same thing."

WHAT? Congress and pre-teen girls are the same thing?

Then again, this is the same man who has no idea what the Fed actually does (besides printing up his economic "recovery"). So, you know, don't be all that surprised.


TLP: Take It Easy, Baby, You're Playing Someone Else's Song

bachmann petty
After she hires a history tutor, Michele Bachmann needs to fire whomever picked the music for her presidential campaign announcement. Haven't we heard this story before? Of course we have.

Hollywood Reporter (via Reuters via NYT):
It's not even 2012 yet but election season is in full bloom.

And with it comes a new political ritual: First, a Republican candidate attempts to score cultural points by choosing a popular song for a political commercial or a rally. Next, a musician complains about such unauthorized use. Finally, politician says, "Sorry!"

Up first in the 2012 war is a developing dispute between singer-songwriter Tom Petty and Michele Bachmann. On Monday, Bachmann officially announced her candidacy for U.S. president. She left the stage as Petty's "American Girl" blared over the loudspeaker. Uh-oh.

Petty's camp is unhappy with Bachmann's choice of exit music and will ask the campaign not to use the song, according to an NBC News report. (Petty's manager was not immediately available for comment, an employee said.)

Petty previously sent George W. Bush a cease-and-desist letter over his presidential campaign's use of the song, "I Won't Back Down." Bush backed down, of course. But the former president is not alone.

In the past couple of years, musicians have enjoyed great success in getting politicians to see the error of their ways.
First, speaking of credit, what the fuck is with this news story? The NYT running a Reuters pick-up of a Hollywood Reporter article? I think. And don't miss the NBC credit buried in the copy.

Oh well, better to overdo it than just rip it off. Right, Michele?


QE 2 Is Almost Over, Is America Ready?

The more appropriate question is: is the Fed ready?

The LA Times foretells doom:

Amid increasing political pressure and turbulent financial conditions in the world economy, the Federal Reserve is letting its massive bond-buying stimulus program expire in the next few days without a new initiative to prop up the weak American recovery.

Who will buy Treasurys once Zimbabwe Ben walks away from the table?

Here's what happens: the Fed pretends like they are walking away so they can appear as though they have some small shred of self respect left and then return to the table a month or so later once the cheap money whores bail out in droves and make things look just about as bad as they should have looked all along. Oh no! The sky is falling! Quick, get to da choppa!


TLP: That's Pronounced 'Bone-Us'

congressional bonuses
You know that feeling you get when you find money? A few dollars on the street or outside a store. Maybe some bills turn up unexpectedly in the laundry or your wallet. Pretty awesome, right? Now you know what it's like to be a congressional staffer.

Members of the House of Representatives reported up to $6.1 million in staff bonuses between January and March, giving out bonuses as they debated spending cuts and came within minutes of shutting down government over fiscal problems, a CNN investigation has found.

At least one congressman gave thousands of dollars to his own staff as he criticized other federal workers as being overpaid.

The analysis came from a three-week look at the latest House expense report by CNN Radio's American Sauce, a podcast.

Members of both political parties reported bonuses, though Democrats outspent Republicans, with up to $3.1 million in staff bonuses compared with $908,000 for GOP members. The remaining $2.1 million CNN found was disbursed by committees. Committee spokesmen did not respond or were not able to delineate between Democratic and Republican staff members.

Staff bonuses are not a new phenomenon on Capitol Hill, but only in the past year and a half have salaries and other House expenses been released in a single online report.

The bonuses come as lawmakers on all sides demand spending cuts and belt-tightening from government. The millions in bonuses are a tiny fraction of the roughly $1.5 trillion deficit, but are a symbol of congressional spending at a time of economic struggle.
The best part of the CNN report is that the bonuses come from a no-strings allotment averaging $1.5 million per congressional office. Money not spent from those allowances "stays in the Treasury and keeps the deficit at a lower level," CNN reported. Yeah, well.

Want to know whether your representative handed out any cash? All you have to do is ask.


SCOTUS Gives One to Liberty in Video Game Decision

Maybe I'm crazy for saying this, but the SCOTUS decision Monday to overturn a California law trying to limit kids' access to violent video games is a huge victory for liberty. Liberty for parents to raise their children instead of turning to the government to do it for them, that is.

Via the LA Daily News:

In a 7-2 decision, the court put video games in the same category as movies, plays and books - entertainment deserving of First Amendment protection.

"Even where the protection of children is the object, the constitutional limits on governmental action apply," Justice Antonin Scalia wrote in the majority opinion.

Listen, the Entertainment Software Rating Board already has agreements with retailers (albeit voluntary) to prevent the sale of violent video games to minors. That doesn't stop unknowing parents from unwisely picking up Grand Theft Auto for little Timmy, and no amount of government intervention can change the parent problem.

More parents need to be like this guy interviewed by the Daily News:

As a parent, Charles Wong, 65, of Woodland Hills, said he disapproves of certain violent video games, but he acknowledged the Supreme Court's apprehensions of restricting speech.

Wong, who was at Fry's with his 17-old-son, let his son play M-rated games when he was younger, but did impose some restrictions.

"We pick and choose them," Wong said. "It means that we didn't have games where you shoot cops. Shooting make believe alien stuff, there's nothing wrong with that. It's a judgment thing."

Right. Robbing people? Not OK. Blowing up magical beasts with fantasy weapons in a completely manufactured environment? I don't see that breeding any serial killers any time soon.

Why is it OK to show murdered bodies on the evening news and yet we somehow need to shelter our children from simulated, cartoon violence? Has anyone taken their little one to see Cars 2? I heard from a fellow parent that it's packed with killing, should we also ban that?

There's no going back.

This is the first SCOTUS decision on video games and, given the popularity of these consoles in each of our homes, likely not the last.


TLP: The Politics of Dining

grind it out
Remember this spring, just about planting season on the farm, when little calves and pigs and chicks were being born and we all gathered around the JDA screen to watch "Farm to Fridge: The Truth Behind Meat Production"? It's a heart-warming blood-curdling tale, shot in retching shakyvision and not for the squeamish, as JDA warned over and over again.

Seems this type of video was not appreciated by some in Iowa, who proposed legislation to make that sort of expose' illegal. And now an effort is under way to block the bill.

Des Moines Register:
A well-known Iowa City chef provided the Iowa Legislature today with a petition with 41,000 names in opposition to a bill that would criminalize undercover investigations of cruelty to farm animals.

Kurt Friese, the owner of Devotay restaurant in Iowa City and the publisher of Edible Iowa River Valley magazine, is behind the Internet-based petition drive. He is a board member of Slow Food USA, a grassroots international organization that links the pleasure of food with a commitment to community and the environment.

Friese, who met today with several members of the Iowa Senate, said well-managed farms should have nothing to hide.

“I don’t believe that this bill does anything to help farmers or to help the earth. It doesn’t protect our waterways or the rights of the people who would eat this food,” he said. He also considers the legislation unconstitutional because it would make it illegal not only to create undercover videos of cruelty to farm animals, but to possess or distribute them -”putting them on par with child pornography.”
Genius. Nice little political recipe of guilt and shame the chef cooked up for whatever group is behind trying to block investigations that uncover cruel treatment on farms.

If you're inclined to have a taste of Iowa politics, Slow Food USA has its petition online.

And for further reading on food matters:

The FDA Finally Admits Industrial Chickens Are Full of Arsenic
Are You In a Food Desert?
TLP: When Saying Grace Isn't Enough
The Problem With Antibiotics


Virginia's Bob Marshall Is Still Really Butthurt About Richmond Fed's Gayness

It seems gay-hating Virginia delegate Bob Marshall just can't get over the pride flag flapping in the breeze in front of the Richmond Fed for the month of June and so he's writing another letter, this time to Fed chairman Ben Bernanke. As if Zimbabwe Ben doesn't have better things to do than to beat off this guy with a stick (unnecessary gay pun that I went out of my way to make totally not intended, I swear).

It also seems that this is the first he's hearing about that whole not-quite-government thing the Fed has going.

In his letter to Bernanke, Marshall refers to the code of conduct which can be found via the Richmond Fed in its entirety here. He takes issue with the section that states "Federal Reserve Banks have a unique need to protect their independence from the political process… an employee may not engage in political activity while on duty or on Bank premises, and must be extremely cautious to avoid any suggestion of Bank sponsorship or support of such activities." Now, I'm not sure why who one chooses to fuck is a political issue, or why inclusion of bank employees regardless of who they choose to fuck is relevant to this particular passage but hey, I didn't write the letter.

It's obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that this point refers specifically to endorsement of political activities, like, say, going to an End the Fed rally in a Don't Tread on Me t-shirt. Not allowed for Fed asshats, sorry guys.

Via the Richmond Times-Dispatch:

In his letter Marshall asked Bernanke three questions:

(1) Did the Richmond Fed violate its own non-partisan directive? If so, what steps will you take to ensure that it does not happen again?

(2) Regardless of whether the flag flying violated the Richmond Fed policy, should the Federal Reserve, and/or its 12 regional banks, use Fed money to take such public advocacy positions?

(3) Was Fed spokesman Jim Strader accurate when he told the New York Times that the Fed's 12 regional member banks are privately owned, and not governmental in nature?

"I am interested to find out if Chairman Bernanke agrees that the flying of the rainbow flag in honor of 'Gay Pride Month' may violate the Federal Reserve's policy against participating in political activities at the bank," Marshall said.

In asking if Richmond Fed's spokesperson was really for real, Marshall is referring to this NYT article, in which said Dirty Fed operative loosely told the NYT "the bank is in fact privately owned, as are all regional Federal Reserves, and that it considers requests by employees — this was the first one — but not the general public." Obviously the large pair of low-hanging balls required to be real about the Fed's fake government status are a requirement to work at the Richmond Fed, who says a thing like that to the unwashed masses?

Listen, Bob, I really hate to break this to you (no I don't) but babysitting the regional banks does not fall within Bernanke's duties as Chief Operating Asshat of the Federal Reserve Board. Quick primer: the Board and the Richmond Fed are two different things. We can go over it again if you're still confused, it really isn't hard.

Paint me crazy but isn't it a tad hypocritical of a man who identifies as a Big Government-hating Republican to insist the allegedly-government Federal Reserve Board interfere in the activities of a private regional bank? Maybe I've been sniffing the fumes but how does Marshall reconcile this in his big mushy Republican brain? (That's rhetorical, btw, I realize most Republicans have this same "ailment." Being a libertarian myself, I fully support their right to be that way so long as it doesn't interfere in my life, which it really doesn't as it gives me something to make fun of when the news is slow.)

Besides, there are only a few more days left in this month and then the damn flag is gone forever. Until next year, maybe, when we can start this all over again.

Who else thinks we should all chip in and send Bob a gay I heart the Fed t-shirt? I know just the guy to hook them up.


TLP: Somewhere, Billy Mays is Laughing

lapre busted
As investment losses go, eating a couple hundred dollars is nothing unusual. Could happen to anybody. But when 220,000 people lose an average of $250 on the same investment, with the same guy, who's always wearing the same polo shirt, someone's going to notice. And then someone might be in trouble.

After failing to show up for a court appearance, a bench warrant was issued for the marketer of "The Greatest Vitamin in the World." Thursday evening, he was arrested in Tempe.

Deputy U.S. Marshals captured Donald Lapre in the area of Warner Rd and Priest Dr.

Lapre was wanted after he failed to appear for his Wednesday arraignment. Lapre was indicted on 41 counts including conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud and promotional money laundering.

He's accused of encouraging people to sell worthless vitamins, defrauding approximately 220,000 victims out of $52 million.
Depending on how things shake out, Lapre could be back to selling "tiny classified ads" from a "one-room apartment." Or someplace like it.


Barney Frank Teams Up With an Unlikely Friend to End Marijuana Prohibition

Looks like Barney Frank is feeling a little guilty for forcing Dodd-Frank on us, and is hoping we'll all get high and forget about it. Somehow, he's teamed up with - wait for it - Ron Paul to introduce a bill that would allow states to make their own marijuana rules.

You can support the Ending Federal Prohibition of Marijuana Act of 2011 by writing your representative, who you can find here. Look, there's even a letter you can use. Copy and paste, lazy ass, it's not that hard.

Dear Representative:

I am writing to you to express my support for Representative Barney Frank's bill to end marijuana prohibition, and I urge you to co-sponsor this important legislation.

The Ending Federal Marijuana Prohibition Act 2011 (HR 2306) would end marijuana prohibition, removing it from federal scheduling under the Controlled Substances Act. It would enable states to pass their own laws, regulations and taxes to control marijuana and put an end to intimidation tactics from federal prosecutors with regard to marijuana laws.

Legalizing and regulating marijuana means removing the criminal element that has been created by prohibition and is so prevalent. It means protecting minors from purchasing marijuana as they are currently restricted from purchasing alcohol and tobacco. The bill also prevents the wasting of law enforcement resources on nonviolent marijuana arrests.

Marijuana prohibition is a proven failure and a colossal waste of government resources that could certainly be put to better use. Please become a co-sponsor of the "Ending Federal Marijuana Prohibition Act of 2011" and help pass this pivotal legislation.

Personalize your letter by suggesting that you will vote for this person next election season if they heed your wishes. Or take it a step further and staple a warm $20 bill to your letter, full on lobbyist style.

I'll be thrilled to send mine sprayed in perfume with heart, your loving constituent, JDA written in glitter pen across it to creepy ass Steny Hoyer, who happens to be my representative.


Is Ben Bernanke Worse Than a Fake Rapture Hack?

Sovereign Man certainly seems to think so:

Harold Camping has a pretty dismal track record. Thrice now, the 89-year old California evangelist has been very public about predicting the end of the world. Somehow he managed to convinced legions of followers that his complex calculations were accurate.

Camping was obviously very wrong all three times, in addition to other times he was wrong in making smaller predictions in his radio broadcasts. We can, however, forgive Mr. Camping’s ‘miscalculations’ for the precise date and time of the world coming to an end, writing them off as twaddling, harmless entertainment.

Why? Because Harold Camping doesn’t control the money supply for the largest economy on the planet.

You see, there’s another guy whose track record is about as impressive as Harold Camping’s. His name is Ben Bernanke. And every time he opens his mouth with a prediction about the economy, it’s wrong. Dismally, dreadfully wrong.

You mean like the time he said this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this?


Why Bitcoin Scares the Crap Out of Bureaucrats

In typical bureaucrat fashion, a pair of senators are going after Bitcoin in the hopes that they can stop, uh, illegal drug purchases on Silk Road. Totally ignoring that fact that most normal dope fiends in the United States pay for drugs using Federal Reserve Notes. Should we ban $100 bills because cokeheads like to use them to snort lines?


PC World:

Two U.S. senators have written an open letter to the United States attorney general, asking federal authorities to crack down on "Silk Road," the Internet black market drug trade, and the digital currency that funds it, Bitcoins.

After reading the report on Silk Road, written by Gawker's Adrian Chen, Democratic Senators Charles Schumer of New York and Joe Manchin of West Virginia wrote a letter to U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, Reuters reports. The letter states:

"The only method of payment for these illegal purchases is an untraceable peer-to-peer currency known as Bitcoins. After purchasing Bitcoins through an exchange, a user can create an account on Silk Road and start purchasing illegal drugs from individuals around the world and have them delivered to their homes within days. We urge you to take immediate action and shut down the Silk Road network."

When Gawker wrote up Silk Road earlier this month, they so eloquently explained Bitcoin thusly:

Bitcoins have been called a "crypto-currency," the online equivalent of a brown paper bag of cash. Bitcoins are a peer-to-peer currency, not issued by banks or governments, but created and regulated by a network of other bitcoin holders' computers. (The name "Bitcoin" is derived from the pioneering file-sharing technology Bittorrent.) They are purportedly untraceable and have been championed by cyberpunks, libertarians and anarchists who dream of a distributed digital economy outside the law, one where money flows across borders as free as bits.

As we all know, drugs aren't the problem here (if they were, the government would hopefully know better than to go after the "money" used in transactions). The problem is that the government hates anything that bypasses taxes, tracking and forced inflation. The government hates free markets. It hates competition. It hates the idea of the populace taking things into their own hands and completely avoiding their ridiculous rules and regulations, fees and fines and morality clauses.

Bitcoin defines its own value. Can't say the same thing about FRNs, which are under the direct control of the very banks that issue increasing amounts of them on behalf of the Fed to keep the Ponzi scheme rolling.

No wonder it scares the shit out of these guys.


The Stop Bernanke Tour Hits Seattle

Thursday, June 23, 2011 1 Comments

Thanks reader Jeff for sending in these shots. Bonus points for the creative addition, which you can clearly read in the second photo.

Get in touch if you need a Stop Bernanke sticker.


Jr Deputy Accountant Is Gay For the Fed?

A reader in Richmond who thinks he's funny gave me this t-shirt, which I'd like to thank him for but... I'm not sure if I feel comfortable wearing it in public. Maybe some day it will be worth something on Ebay. Good lookin out.

Meanwhile, catch up on the gayness going down in Richmond at my #2 Fed bank:

"Sideshow Bob" Marshall Gets His Panties In a Bunch Over Richmond Fed's Gayness
Richmond Fed Pisses Off the Virginia Good Old Boys With Gay Flag

Equality Virginia is selling the shirts if you want one. I'm going to have to put Lacker 02 on the back of mine as a show of solidarity for my #2 favorite Fedhead, who has somehow kept the gay flag flying in front of his bank for the entire month of June. You can tell Richmond Fed how seeing this flag in front of a non-federal building makes you feel here if you're the ranting type. So far, many of the comments around the Internets have been predictably rabid.

I'm of the belief that they can do whatever they want to do as a private business, that flag doesn't affect my life one way or another. The shirt does (it burns) but it's still a good addition to the collection.

I admire the large pair of balls it takes to do something like flying a rainbow flag deep in the heart of good ole boy country while actively financially assraping us at the big mahogany table on 20th and Constitution once a month. Sodomy is illegal in the state of Virginia but apparently there is no such law on the books in the District.

What's not to love?


Gone Fishing...

Sunday, June 19, 2011 1 Comments

TLP and I are grabbing some much needed R&R in a secret location somewhere on the Eastern seaboard this week, see you kids Thursday.

For once, I'm leaving the laptop at home. I trust you can handle things without me.


The Legislati Self-Destruct the Paper Gold and Silver Market by July 15th

Dodd-Frank is a sick beast, packed with all sorts of fantastic slippery slopes of confiscation, forced manipulation and ridiculous handouts to the main players who engineered it into existence. But we knew that.

Now comes this from Zero Hedge, which very clearly states they will be imploding the paper metal market in the U.S. as of July 15th. By imploding, we mean blocking for the common man but leaving wide open for the major market players, further proof that their attempts at manipulating this baby into the outcome they want is becoming harder to pull off as time goes by.

First, the email ZH got:

Date: Fri, Jun 17, 2011 at 6:11 PM
Subject: Important Account Notice Re: Metals Trading
To: xxx

Important Account Notice Re: Metals Trading

We wanted to make you aware of some upcoming changes to’s product offering. As a result of the Dodd-Frank Act enacted by US Congress, a new regulation prohibiting US residents from trading over the counter precious metals, including gold and silver, will go into effect on Friday, July 15, 2011.

In conjunction with this new regulation, must discontinue metals trading for US residents on Friday, July 15, 2011 at the close of trading at 5pm ET. As a result, all open metals positions must be closed by July 15, 2011 at 5pm ET.

We encourage you to wind down your trading activity in these products over the next month in anticipation of the new rule, as any open XAU or XAG positions that remain open prior to July 15, 2011 at approximately 5:00 pm ET will be automatically liquidated.

We sincerely regret any inconvenience complying with the new U.S. regulation may cause you. Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact our customer service team.

The Team at

Remember, we're only talking about paper here. Still, it's disturbing to read that the Land of the Free is more like the Den of Thieves, where the thieves get to write the rules and come after you if you don't follow. You all know what the next step is, and it involves threats, battering rams and search and seizure. You know... for starters. Unlikely? Please, they've proven they can do it, there's nothing stopping them from doing it again.

ZH continues:

The actual rule language exempts a transaction if it "results in actual delivery within 28 days or such other period as the Commission may determine by rule or regulation based upon the longer period as the Commission may determine by rule or regulation based upon the typical commercial practice in cash or spot markets for the commodity involved;" Alas, the commission has decided not to intervene and keep the exemption status window so small as to affect virtually all exchanges which transact in the gold and silver spot market.

God this reeks of desperation.

Head over to ZH for the full story, some interesting commentary from the Peanut Gallery and more details on this move.

Remember the text of the Frankendodd bill reveals all:

To promote the financial stability of the United States by improving accountability and transparency in the financial system, to end ‘‘too big to fail’’, to protect the American taxpayer by ending bailouts, to protect consumers from abusive financial services practices, and for other purposes.

It's that "for other purposes" that always worries me. And I'm usually right.


Those Darn Europeans Might Start Forcing Private Companies to Bail Out Greece (Again)

pic credit: Pundit Kitchen

Read the following carefully, focusing on the last part extra carefully.


German Chancellor Angela Merkel Saturday urged "substantial" aid from private creditors in resolving Greece's debt woes, as the Eurogroup warned the crisis could spread like a firestorm through other EU economies.

"We must be sure to try to have a substantial contribution" from private creditors like banks and insurance companies for debt-laden Greece, Merkel told a meeting of her Christian Democrat Union party in Berlin.

However the German leader added that "at the moment we can only get the participation of the private investors on a voluntary basis."

"At the moment" says to me that Merkel is considering a scenario whereupon private companies will be forced for the greater good of the union to participate in any bailout scheme those darn Europeans come up with. Or, remembering that the game is rigged, Merkel already knows that's going to happen and is merely pretending to give private companies an opportunity to opt in or out.

A reverse bailout whereupon private companies bail out a government? Now that's innovation.

Whatever it takes!


Ron Paul Calls the Fed a Crackhead

No, he actually said that.

The Street:

The Federal Reserve is like a drug addict, according to presidential candidate and Congressman Ron Paul, notorious for his hatred of the Fed and love of gold.

In a recent interview with TheStreet, Dr. Paul likened the Fed to a drug addict unable to stop printing money as no one wanted to go through the pain of withdrawl [sic]. The libertarian Congressman, however, believes that Congress will raise the debt ceiling before August 2nd despite that fact that the U.S. is more than $14 trillion in debt, with $275 billion of interest payments due in 2011 alone, according to

Duh, I've said that a bazillion times.

Trust him, he's a doctor.


San Francisco Food Nazis Shut Down Underground Wild Foods Co-op

Now, I can understand the safety risk here in the minds of San Francisco food police, as I personally wouldn't eat anything found in Golden Gate Park. Chances are it carries some form of hepatitis, and I'm not sure about the effect of homeless guy pee as a fertilizer but I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

The SF Weekly has the story:

ForageSF founder Iso Rabins told SF Weekly that he was issued a cease-and-desist order by two officials from the Department of Public Health at the market on Saturday. He said he will meet with health inspectors on Thursday to try to determine a way to bring the market into line with regulations governing food vendors, which it has so far managed to circumvent.

"I can't do it again until I meet with them and figure out how to do it legally," he said.

State and local regulations dictate that food sold at farmers' markets be produced in commercial kitchens. The underground market had gotten around this restriction -- at the suggestion, originally, of a San Francisco health inspector -- by billing itself as a private, "members-only" event. Patrons can sign up for membership online, and pay a $5 entrance fee to the market.

Apparently the state of California didn't like this workaround, forcing SF Food PD to crack down on Rabins' little indie market.

ForageSF was first profiled in the Weekly in March of 2009. The best quote from that piece was this one from Rebecca Klus, a San Francisco cooking instructor and wild foods enthusiast. "Maybe we're a little spoiled here in the Bay Area, but even the farmers' market has become too pedestrian."

Everything is too pedestrian for those hip fuckers in San Francisco. What could be more anti-establishment than munching wild radishes fed with the piss of both floofy dogs and homeless dudes?

Way to one-up the Bourgeoisie, San Francisco.


NPR (Literally) Scrubs Its Ridiculous Headline

If you look at the original URL of this NPR piece, it ends in "yes-those-people-are-literally-kissing-on-the-ground-in-the-street-amid-a-riot."
"I'm not sure what exactly was going on," photographer Rich Lam says on the phone. "I just saw these two people and I thought they were hurt. ... I didn't really know what I got until the editor pointed it out."

Hopefully the people in the photo will come forth and explain what, exactly, was happening. Is this the V-J day in Times Square of our generation?
Literally kissing on the ground in the street amid a riot? What the fuck are you doing, NPR? Is there a figurative kissing on the ground in the street that I'm not getting here which would allow you to use that awful word in a headline?

Literally should be banned until the world at large can retrain itself to use it properly.

For the last time: it's not the same as totally or actually and it's not really necessary to overuse those either.

NPR admits to changing the article in an update:
[Update at 4:58 p.m. ET: Some trends on Twitter suggest that the girl in this photo might indeed be injured, and Esquire offers the scene from another perspective. The headline and text of this story, which said the couple was definitely kissing, have been edited as the debate around the photo continues to unfurl.]
The National Post has a bit wider view of what happened in Vancouver on Wednesday, sans the making out.


Headline of the Day

I mean really, it doesn't get much better than this.

I feel their pain. Thankfully The Lazy Paperboy has a day job so neither of us gets too distracted.


Wage Inflation is a B*tch

I came across this vintage math in my mom's 1970s-era hitchhiking journals and after staring at it for a few minutes, I realized this was (someone) adding up the money they could make. Apparently it involved a lot of orange picking and, uh, similar odd jobs.

Anyway... as you can clearly see (and this would be 1974 or 1975), we're talking $1.80 an hour.

Now what you should do is check out this (April 2000) Cleveland Fed paper, Does Wage Inflation Cause Price Inflation?

Earlier in the current expansion, some considered a low unemployment rate (below 6.5 percent) a harbinger of rising inflation. The commonly held view was that if the aggregate demand for goods and services caused unemployment to fall below some “natural” rate, inflation would accelerate.

What this means to me in simple terms is that part of the Fed's job is to release a reasonable amount of money to meet the demand for said money. Of course, they can never put in just a little bit and have to shove it in all the way and get a bunch splattered everywhere.

The result?

I have no idea what orange pickers are making these days but I'm pretty sure it's more than $1.80.

Then again, I could be wrong and this math has nothing to do with money. 


TLP: How Weiner's Women Got the Money Shots and Avoided the Mess

weiner texts
Let's hope that Anthony Weiner busted a good nut or twelve in the course of his cock-tweeting and Facebook seduction adventures. You'd have to think he did. Otherwise, he'd have been guzzling bourbon instead of bottled water at his "it was mine" news conference.

Seems the attention-whoring AW wasn't the only one using the online encounters to get a little ... something. Looks like the women he sexted and skeezed on were perfectly capable of giving while they were getting. And at least one got paid to talk about it afterward, speaking of attention-whoring.

Before the subjects of headlining news stories agree to a television interview these days, some have one question: how much money can I make?

ABC and NBC, embroiled in a fight for viewers in the mornings, are increasingly in the news for their willingness to pay thousands of dollars to gain exclusive access to news subjects.

The practice was especially visible last week when ABC News ran an exclusive interview with Meagan Broussard, one of the women who was sent lewd photos by Anthony Weiner, after the network paid her about $15,000 for photos. ABC said its extensive reporting, including the interview, led to Mr. Weiner’s admissions about his online behavior.
So apparently Meagan Broussard's price is $15k. And as the saying goes, we already know what she is. Being involved in this and recent stories has resulted in similar payments for "rights to home movies" or "education trusts" or whatever.

Which raises the question of not just what Weiner's women are getting out of it at the end, but what their role was in the midst of the filthy photo-swapping show-and-tell.

LZ Granderson commented on
But the Weiner scandal -- and I feel somewhat silly calling it a scandal ... appears to be some horny adults getting freaky over the Internet, illustrated by this e-mail exchange shared by Lisa Weiss, one of the six women Weiner was involved with:

Weiner: ridiculous bulge in my shorts now. wanna see?

Weiss: "Yea! can u send a pic? I want to sit on your ..."
So thoughtful, CNN. Cutting the text off before it gets good and Weiss asks Weiner, "how r u gonna go to work with a raging hard on?" and advises that, "u ar making me wet again" before sharing that she enjoys blowjobs and in fact has been complimented on her skills.

I couldn't find any indication that Weiss collected any cash for her part of the story (disclosure: I am a lazy motherfucker and could completely have missed it) but somehow all those dripping text messages wound up being read and laughed at all over the Internet. And I doubt Weiner released them.

Poor fucker. I bet he got some in the eye.


Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley "Clings Tightly" to His State's Ethanol Subsidies

It's almost sad to watch.

Via Ethanol Producer Magazine:

On May 4, Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, introduced the Domestic Energy Production Act of 2011, which he offered as “a good starting point” for ethanol tax policy reform. The bill recommends reducing VEETC from its current rate of 45 cents per gallon to 20 cents per gallon beginning in 2012, and reducing it again to 15 cents per gallon in 2013. Beginning in 2014, the credit would become a variable tax credit, allowing ethanol blenders to claim a 30-cent-per-gallon tax credit during times when oil prices are $50 per barrel or less. For those times when oil prices range from between $50 per barrel and $90 per barrel, the credit would vary based on the price of crude oil. If oil prices are $90 per barrel or higher, there would be no ethanol tax credit because blenders would have enough market incentive to participate in discretionary blending without additional tax credits. The import tariff would follow the blenders’ credit, but would not vary after 2013 and instead remain steady at 15 cents per gallon.

CBS claims the ethanol folk are excitedly awaiting a detailed plan on how certain presidential hopefuls would handle slicing the handouts:

Candidate Obama regularly claimed he would tell hard truths on the campaign trail but he never much did it. Pawlenty may be following the same model. But he does win some points for bravery, however. "The truth about federal energy subsidies, including federal subsidies for ethanol, is that they have to be phased out," he said. So Pawlenty wasn't just aiming at the $6 billion-a-year ethanol subsidy but all energy subsidies, including those for oil and solar and wind. Depending on what you define as a subsidy that could total anywhere from $17 billion, the conservative government estimate, to $50 billion, the estimate made by Doug Koplow, a specialist in energy subsides at Earthtrack in Cambridge, Mass.

That's just fine with the Iowa ethanol lobby. "Iowans look forward to Gov. Pawlenty further detailing his plans to 'phase out' petroleum subsidies, perhaps in a speech in Houston, Texas," said Walt Wendland, president of the Iowa Renewable Fuels Association, in a press release.

The funny part about all of this is that somehow it always ends up back at the evil speculators and terrible Big Oil who has us by the throat. As if destroying our engines with a food item when folks are starving halfway around the world makes any sort of sense. So much sense, apparently, that some members of the Handout Committee are fighting tooth and nail to keep things as they are:

“The House legislation…contains extreme cuts to energy infrastructure that would impair our ability to free our constituents from Big Oil and bondage to OPEC and hurt our economy,” their letter to the Senate committee says. “It nearly eliminates funding to install ethanol pumps at rural service stations – reducing it from $75 million to $1.3 million. The bill also further rescinds all funds that assist and encourage conservation practices that allow corn cobs, switch grass and other non-feed stalks to be brought from the farm to the pump through bio-fuel production. This apathy for energy infrastructure and domestic energy production is exceedingly foolish in the face of high gas prices caused by Wall Street speculators and unfriendly foreign oil.”


Here Is What Your Iowa Farmer Bribe Money Buys You, America
Corn Mafia Henchmen at Cargill Gobble Up Crap Bank Assets
Can a Republican House Stop Farm Subsidy Nonsense? Yeah Right

End Cornfield Protection Money. NOW.


The Federal Reserve Board Gets Really Lazy

The Federal Reserve Board, constantly screwing you regardless of time of day
(approx. 6 a.m., 20th and Constitution, Washington, DC)

I actually received this email from the Board this afternoon, which obviously proves they're so convinced we buy their bullshit, they don't even title their emails anymore.

Thanks for being so fucking transparent!


Rep Allen West's Twitter Gets Terrorized By a Wild, Pro-Gay Intern

On Friday, someone used Florida Rep Allen West's Twitter account to retweet the following Scissor Sisters tweet (yes, the same Scissor Sisters that brought you "Filthy/Gorgeous"):

Shortly thereafter, someone at West's camp caught the "erroneous" tweet and sent out Twitter's version of a retraction, tweeting "Very sorry about the unauthorized RT. We were not hacked, an intern made an error. Apologies to all."

Well thank goodness it wasn't some pro-Scissor Sisters gay hacker infiltrating West's account to spread their pro-homo agenda. Phew.

Remember, West is the guy who said "Gay marriage is an oxymoron."

As is "unauthorized RT" when you give your login details to any old gay-loving intern. Whoops!



In this new video release, "as a first step," Anonymous has called for public protests beginning on June 14th, continuing "until Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke steps down." To make their case, they have presented a list of recent scandalous Federal Reserve actions.

I'm not sure Bernanke is the problem. At best, he's a misguided nerd who believes he's doing the right thing. At worst, he's a bumbling idiot. Either way, I don't believe he even understands the level of destruction he has unleashed upon the global economy and genuinely feels like he has done the right thing.

The Fed is the problem, not whichever asshat we have running it. Unless the asshat in question is homicidal maniac Alan Greenspan, but that's another story.

Here's the latest video:

Google Map for the protests may be found here, with the following info (the dollar signs are an awesome touch):

This Flag Day, Tuesday June 14th, we will launch a non-violent social movement with this list of demands:

* End the campaign finance and lobbying racket
* Break up the Fed & Too Big to Fail banks
* Enforce RICO laws against organized criminal class
* Order Ben Bernanke to step down

The Banks - #BofA #Citibank #Chase #WF #Ally
Tweet: See FLAG DAY #OpESR

Click on the $ on the map for rally info: #NYC #DC #Chicago #SF #STL #OKC #Flint #WI #Monterey
Organize a local OpESR protest: PARKING: Use 'Search Nearby' tool in action detail

If you recall, "Anonymous" allegedly pulled this before, organizing a failed protest in March. I went to the Board at 6 in the morning to get pics of these folks who promised violence getting dragged off by rabid Fed SWAT teams only to find a single security guard and empty streets on Constitution Ave. My early drive into the District wasn't entirely wasted, I did manage to get a great shot of the Washington Monument at sunrise.

Follow the #OpESR hashtag on Twitter for more info.

I'll be sitting this one out. Happily. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.


Judges Get Confused By Words



In a decision last week in a patent case, Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. puzzled out the meaning of a federal law by consulting the usual legal materials — and five

One of the words he looked up was “of.” He learned that it means pretty much what you think it means.

Ironically, or perhaps not at all, the dictionary folk are a bit disturbed by this trend. “I think that it’s probably wrong, in almost all situations, to use a dictionary in the courtroom,” said Jesse Sheidlower, the editor at large of the Oxford English Dictionary. “Dictionary definitions are written with a lot of things in mind, but rigorously circumscribing the exact meanings and connotations of terms is not usually one of them.”

Wait... did he just say that dictionaries don't exist to define words?


Summing Up the Scum From Bernanke's Pie Hole In a Few Short Words

WC Varones paraphrases the sentiment he got from Zimbabwe Ben's latest speech so you don't have to waste your quality time actually reading it:

- There isn't any inflation.
- The inflation is not my fault.
- The easy money flogging will continue until morale improves.

Silly central banker, don't you know recoveries are for healthy economies?

Meanwhile, Sheldon Filger called Bernanke clueless over at HuffPo, which also about sums up the situation.


The FDA Finally Admits Industrial Chickens Are Full of Arsenic

Yes, your chickens that you eat. The ones that live in unsanitary conditions, marinating in their own waste while being pumped full of the kind of industrial chemicals that even supervillians wouldn't boil their adversaries in.

If you don't already read Natural News regularly, I suggest you start doing so. Covering everything from the FDA Gestapo to the GMO Mafia, the site is a must for those with the sense to question the bastardization of our food chain.

Case in point, this good one which informs us our chickens are cancerous:

After years of sweeping the issue under the rug and hoping no one would notice, the FDA has now finally admitted that chicken meat sold in the USA contains arsenic, a cancer-causing toxic chemical that's fatal in high doses. But the real story is where this arsenic comes from: It's added to the chicken feed on purpose!

Even worse, the FDA says its own research shows that the arsenic added to the chicken feed ends up in the chicken meat where it is consumed by humans. So for the last sixty years, American consumers who eat conventional chicken have been swallowing arsenic, a known cancer-causing chemical.


The chicken feed in question is Roxarsone, produced by Pfizer arm Alpharma. Pfizer has voluntarily offered to pull Roxarsone from the market (isn't that nice of them) and the FDA - after testing chicken livers but not breasts or legs... you know, the chicken parts most of us actually like to eat - says chicken is still fine to eat because the levels it detected were not a health risk.

Who is looking out for your safety? Your brain must be rotted by industrial chemicals if you believe it's the FDA.

And you guys laughed at me for keeping chickens in my backyard. Suckers!


China's Only Sovereign Credit Rating Agency Says U.S. Has Already Defaulted

I guess now would be an excellent time to define "default." If saying "screw you" to creditors doesn't count, I don't know what does. If only all of us could pull what Washington is pulling right now.

AFP via Yahoo:

A Chinese ratings house has accused the United States of defaulting on its massive debt, state media said Friday, a day after Beijing urged Washington to put its fiscal house in order.

"In our opinion, the United States has already been defaulting," Guan Jianzhong, president of Dagong Global Credit Rating Co. Ltd., the only Chinese agency that gives sovereign ratings, was quoted by the Global Times saying.

Washington had already defaulted on its loans by allowing the dollar to weaken against other currencies -- eroding the wealth of creditors including China, Guan said.

Come on, this has been going on for years. I'm getting a little sick of the back and forth between Washington and Beijing, let's just pull out the nukes and get it over with already.


The History of the Money-Changers (Or, End the Fed Circa 48 BC)

It's 3.5 hours so you don't have to watch it in one sitting but please watch the following 1996 documentary, if only to hear the phrase "it was the only time Jesus got violent."

The Money Masters:

The film argues against a gold standard and, obviously, drags on but it's mostly all good stuff.

Ever get a sense of deja vu?


Jobs I Don't Envy: This Motherf***er

 pic credit: toothpaste for dinner

I made the mistake of going for a walk in this hell on Earth today (still convinced God hates DC after several months here), not doing that again in the daylight for awhile. I did not have to be out mowing anyone's lawn. Anytime I question my career choices lately, I remind myself (in air conditioning) that it could be worse. I get to berate people and paste Federal Reserve chairmen heads on offensive bodies in the cool air when it's 100 degrees outside, what better gig could there possibly be?


In New Jersey, records of 102 degrees were recorded at the Newark and Atlantic City airports, beating their respective previous records of 99 degrees and 98 degrees set in 2008. The temperature also reached 102 degrees at Ronald Reagan National Airport near Washington, matching a record set in 1874. Philadelphia hit 99 degrees, one degree higher than a record set in 1933.

"I'd love to be indoors, but I don't make any money that way," said Jose Serrano, a landscape worker cutting lawns and trimming bushes in Toms River, N.J. "When it comes to working in these conditions, you just do what you have to do, you know?"

Note: that bad ass has a job. "You just do what you have to do, you know?"

Do you?


Did Weinergate Scare the Pants Off Congressional Tweeters?

The following facts are useless without also comparing them to the rise in cigar use in the 90s or sales of yachts in the late 1980s.

The Hill reports the Congressional tweets are down by 28% since Rep Weiner "accidentally" tweeted his junk:

Lawmakers cut back on their use of Twitter last week after Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) sent a lewd image of himself through the social network.

It’s impossible to say whether the drop in tweeting by lawmakers is attributable to Weiner’s problems, and last week did include the Memorial Day holiday.

Still, there was a significant drop in the number of tweets by lawmakers, who tweeted about 28 percent less the week of May 30 to June 3 than the previous week, according to a study by TweetCongress.

Is this what one Capitol Hill aide was referring to when they told Politico social media is absolutely a pain in the ass?


Did China Really Unload 97% of Its Treasury Debt?

pic credit: Banksy

The key word here is short-term debt. Despite what the Zero Hedge comment section might tell you, China did not unload 97% of its Treasury debt. Surely you would notice if they did. With $1.2 trillion (roundabouts) in worthless pieces of paper under China's mattress, that's not a transaction that can go down without a little indigestion and/or explosive diarrhea on our part.

Here's the real story (NASDAQ):

According to a Treasury Department report, China has reduced its ownership of short-term U.S. Treasury bills by 97%, falling from a peak of $210.4 billion in May 2009 to only $5.69 billion in March 2011! Additionally, since October 2010, China has also been divesting its long-term Treasury bonds holdings. Clearly, China does not like to see an eroding U.S. dollar on top of extremely low interest rates. This is raising even more speculation about what will happen when the Fed ends its second round of quantitative easing (QE2) later this week. Who will buy Treasury bonds after the Fed ends its bond-buying spree?

What does this mean? Well short-term implies an original maturity of one year or less, so the debt expired. Big whoop?

The big whoop here is that we managed to scrape together $204 billion to give them.


Man Busted Bootlegging $1 Million in Quicken/Turbo Tax Software

Tuesday, June 07, 2011 , , , 0 Comments

And of course he didn't report the sales of counterfeit software on his income taxes.

Via Fox19 (Cincinnati):

Brandon C. Davis, 31, of Cincinnati pleaded guilty today to selling more than $1 million worth of counterfeit financial and tax preparation software through an internet auction site.

Carter Stewart, U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Ohio, Tracey E. Warren, Acting Special Agent in Charge, Internal Revenue Service Criminal Investigation (IRS), Dugan T. Wong, Assistant Inspector in Charge, U.S. Postal Inspection Service, and J. Mark Batts, Acting Special Agent in Charge, Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) announced the plea entered today before Senior U.S. District Judge Herman J. Weber. Davis pleaded guilty to four charges: mail fraud, copyright infringement, and two counts of filing a false income tax return.

According to a court documents, Davis purchased software by download or on a CD, with accompanying label and packaging that was protected by copyright, namely Quicken and Turbo Tax software manufactured by Intuit, Inc. Davis copied each CD of original software multiple times without permission and created counterfeit packaging and labeling for the CDs.

Davis sold the counterfeit Intuit software on eBay, received payment, and then mailed the counterfeit software to the purchaser via the United States Postal Service. Within the packaging, Davis sometimes included a false disclaimer claiming that he was merely acting as a broker for another seller. Davis also falsely represented on the online eBay auctions that he was selling original Intuit software, but instead the defendant sold counterfeit Intuit software, usually at prices below manufacturer's suggested retail price.

Davis failed to report the income from the counterfeit software sales when he filed his income tax returns for 2008 and 2009.

What have we learned today, kids? Well, for starters, it's not nice to steal other people's intellectual property, especially when the DoJ has an IP taskforce specifically to hunt down guys (and gals) like these. And second, don't use mailmen as your dirty little messengers, you'll regret it later.

h/t Going Concern


TLP: Congressman Admits to Being Biggest Weiner Joke of All

Anthony Weiner might have thought he'd get fucked by technology. Just not like this.

A week after claiming a hacker had posted a lewd photo to his Twitter account, U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner on Monday apologized for lying about the ordeal and admitting carrying on inappropriate relationships with several women he'd met online.

Weiner, a New York Democrat, said he is not resigning his seat, nor is he planning on separating from his wife. But he said he took responsibility for his actions -- both the relationships and for lying about sending the photo of his bulging underwear on his Twitter account.

"To be clear, the picture was of me, and I sent it. I'm deeply sorry for the pain this has caused my wife, and our family, my constituents, my friends, my supporters and my staff," he said, claiming he'd posted the Twitter photo accidentally as a "joke" and then "panicked." "I lied because I was ashamed at what I had done, and I didn't want to get caught."
Hmm, what's worse? Admitting you don't know the difference between a tweet and a DM, getting caught lying, or having to refer to the post of your own package as a joke?


TLP: Just Remember How That All Worked Out for Alan Colmes

young hillary
Fox and Hillary Clinton? Been a long time since those words all fell into the same sentence, if ever. Even from Bill.

Howard Kurtz explains at The Daily Beast:
Roger Ailes, the combative conservative behind Fox News, is sounding strangely reasonable these days, going easy on top Democrats—even Hillary Clinton!—and subtly distancing himself from the inflammatory Glenn Beck.

When I spoke with him shortly after the publication of two scathing magazine profiles depicting the chairman as power mad, paranoid, and a GOP puppeteer, Ailes was in a strikingly upbeat mood. When the climate is calm, he loves to stir up trouble, as when he told me last fall that NPR executives were "Nazis." But part of his genius is that when he faces hostile fire, Ailes can turn unexpectedly mellow, the better to make his critics look like the loony ones.

There was this, for instance, from the man who conferred cable stardom on Sarah Palin: "I'd like to hire Hillary Clinton. She looks unhappy at the State Department. She'd get ratings."
Of course, Ailes could just be trying to keep her from running for president.


WoW! Chinese Prisoners Forced to Mine Game Gold

Friday, June 03, 2011 , 1 Comments

Listen, if the alternative is hard labor digging trenches, I'll take farming WoW gold any day of the week but these poor saps don't have a choice.

The Guardian:
As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for "illegally petitioning" the central government about corruption in his hometown, reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

"Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour," Liu told the Guardian. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."

It could be worse, they could have been forced to put out in exchange for WoW gold.


The CPAs Get Bearish on the Economy

Friday, June 03, 2011 , , 0 Comments

From the quarterly AICPA Economic Outlook Survey, bad news that the CPAs aren't feeling as bullish on the economy as in previous quarters:

According to the latest AICPA Economic Outlook Survey, chief financial officers, controllers and CPAs in executive and senior management accounting roles are far less optimistic now about the direction of the U.S. economy than they were in the first quarter of 2011.

The CPA Outlook Index, a broad-based composite index that captures the expectations of CPA financial executives and management accountants, declined three points to 66 this quarter, from 69 in the prior period.

“The flush of optimism we experienced earlier this year has given way to more moderate expectations for the U.S. economy,” said Carol Scott, AICPA vice president for business, industry and government. “While the CPA Outlook Index is still positive relative to the dark days of the recession, our members are concerned about rising energy costs and inflation, health care costs and continuing weakness in demand.”

[Shameless self-promotion:] you can read more at Going Concern.


"Sideshow Bob" Marshall Gets His Panties In a Bunch Over Richmond Fed's Gayness

IMHO, not being able to spell "judgment" correctly should also be a class six felony in the state of Virginia and everywhere. Also, if you're going to write an angry letter to someone, try spelling their name correctly.

In case you missed it, JDA's 2nd favorite Fed bank is flying a rainbow flag in honor of national LGBTQ month and some Virginians aren't very happy about it, including Virginia delegate Bob Marshall. To read his rant, it seems part of his problem with gaytitude is that it doesn't breed new taxpayers to shoulder the weight of the Ponzi scheme.

Seems to me who you're screwing has nothing to do with it, we're all getting screwed one way or another.

Hey Virginia, do you guys realize you elected an idiot who doesn't even know that the Federal Reserve isn't federal? Quick, someone send this guy a copy of Creature From Jekyll Island.

Virginia Tomorrow has the press release:

Manassas, VA-Delegate Robert G. “Bob” Marshall sent the letter below to the President of the Richmond Federal Reserve Bank asking him to remove the rainbow flag representing homosexual rights which is currently flying under the American Flag in recognition of Gay Pride month outside the Richmond Federal Reserve Bank.

“I do not believe that a celebration of ’gay pride’ has anything to do with the mission of the Federal Reserve under the Federal Reserve Act passed by Congress,” said Marshall. ”This is a celebration of a behavior that is still a class six felony in Virginia. How can the American people trust the judgement of the Federal Reserve as an institution when its spokesperson celebrates an attack on public morals?” he asked. Marshall urged, “Take down that flag!”

June 2, 2011

Mr. Jeffrey M. Lacke [uhh... sic?]

President, Richmond Federal Reserve

Re: Take Down that Flag!

Dear President Lacke[r]:

Flying the Homosexual Flag just under the American flag outside Richmond’s Federal Reserve Bank building is a serious deficiency of judgment by your organization, one not limited to social issues.

The Fed’s policies are supposed to “contribute to the strength and vitality of the U. S. economy,” according to the official US Government Organization manual. A flagpole in front of a federal building is not a commercial or political message board. What does flying the Homosexual Flag, or any other similar display, have to do with your central banking mission under the Federal Reserve Act passed by Congress?

Moreover, the homosexual behavior “celebrated” by your Richmond’s Federal Reserve Bank spokeswoman undermines the American economy, is a class six felony in Virginia (18.2-361, VA Code), shortens lives, adds significantly to illness, increases health costs, promotes venereal diseases, and worsens the population imbalance relating to the number of workers supporting the beneficiaries of America’s Social Security and Medicare Programs.

The Richmond Fed’s endorsement of costly, anti-social, immoral behavior is rejected by 6,000 years of Western Religious and moral teaching. You want the American people to trust your judgement in economic matters when your spokesperson celebrates an attack on public morals? Why?

Virginia’s Thomas Jefferson rejected such specious posturing. He wrote in 1809 to Don Valentine de Feronda, “I never did, or countenanced, in public life, a single act inconsistent with the strictest good faith; having never believed there was one code of morality for a public, and another for a private man.”

Mr. Lacke[r], take down that flag!


Delegate Bob Marshall

Are we referring to the same Thomas Jefferson who knocked up the slave he owned? I love the guy as much as the next patriot but, uh, let's keep things in perspective here before we go tossing around the morality clause, the guy screwed human beings he owned for Christ's sake.

And I'm not sure if Mr. Marshall missed health class back in 1814 but venereal disease is not exclusive of gays. In fact, lesbian sex is some of the cleanest, safest sex you can have, especially if you sterilize the strap-ons before and after.

Sounds like ole Bob could really use a nice prostate milking so he can see straight enough to spell right.

We looked up the Virginia law that ole Bob refers to, which reads:
§ 18.2-361. Crimes against nature; penalty.

A. If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony, except as provided in subsection B.

Uh, so, is Mr Marshall willing to go on record to say he's never gotten a good sloppy BJ? Because that's just as illegal in Virginia as getting it up the keister by a dude. Sin is sin, right? It's also illegal in Virginia for two non-married people to get it on. And God forbid you live with someone before marriage, lewd and lascivious cohabitation is a Class 3 misdemeanor in the state.

Fun fact: wives in Virginia are considered property and therefore automatically consent to sex, regardless of whether or not they actually want it.

In the interest of fairness, however, I propose Richmond Fed fly a Don't Tread on Me flag next month in honor of National You're Stealing My Purchasing Power Month as a gesture of solidarity for the little man getting pissed on by the fat cat bankers. It's only fair.


Richmond Fed Pisses Off the Virginia Good Old Boys With Gay Flag

Yes, you read that right. Richmond Fed is flying the rainbow banner in honor of National LGBT month and some do-gooders - including those within the Bank's own ranks - are taking issue with this public display of support for sodomy, interior decorating and spoiled pets.


Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there’s something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it’s National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month, and if President Obama wasn’t already minority enough, he is also promoting this celebration of the degenerate “gay lifestyle.” If that rainbow flag continues flying all month, as planned, up to 47% of straight white Virginians might “turn gay” just by being exposed to the colorful banner.

Wonkette shares the following article from ultra-Christian OneNewsNow:

Meanwhile, the Mississippi-based American Family Association has received a complaint from a Federal Reserve employee who objects to the flag and what it represents. In reference to the “gay pride” flag flying just below the American flag, the employee wrote in an email: “For the past five or six years, the homosexual agenda has been pushed down our throats. [The bank president and vice president] have initiated this agenda. This offends me as a Christian.”

Said one genius Wonkette commenter "If that Christian is so concerned with morality then why is he working for the Federal Reserve?" zing!

Richmond Fed #2 Sally Green told that the Bank chose to fly the flag because they have "learned it is important to value and embrace differences -- both seen and unseen. We are flying the 'Pride' flag as an example of our commitment to values of acceptance and inclusion."

Is that it? I thought it was just 'cuz gay people tend to have a lot of disposable income and the Fed gets off on money velocity. Shows how misinformed I am.

I say good for them, way to stick it to the man. Oh wait...