Virginia's Bob Marshall Is Still Really Butthurt About Richmond Fed's Gayness

It seems gay-hating Virginia delegate Bob Marshall just can't get over the pride flag flapping in the breeze in front of the Richmond Fed for the month of June and so he's writing another letter, this time to Fed chairman Ben Bernanke. As if Zimbabwe Ben doesn't have better things to do than to beat off this guy with a stick (unnecessary gay pun that I went out of my way to make totally not intended, I swear).

It also seems that this is the first he's hearing about that whole not-quite-government thing the Fed has going.

In his letter to Bernanke, Marshall refers to the code of conduct which can be found via the Richmond Fed in its entirety here. He takes issue with the section that states "Federal Reserve Banks have a unique need to protect their independence from the political process… an employee may not engage in political activity while on duty or on Bank premises, and must be extremely cautious to avoid any suggestion of Bank sponsorship or support of such activities." Now, I'm not sure why who one chooses to fuck is a political issue, or why inclusion of bank employees regardless of who they choose to fuck is relevant to this particular passage but hey, I didn't write the letter.

It's obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that this point refers specifically to endorsement of political activities, like, say, going to an End the Fed rally in a Don't Tread on Me t-shirt. Not allowed for Fed asshats, sorry guys.

Via the Richmond Times-Dispatch:

In his letter Marshall asked Bernanke three questions:

(1) Did the Richmond Fed violate its own non-partisan directive? If so, what steps will you take to ensure that it does not happen again?

(2) Regardless of whether the flag flying violated the Richmond Fed policy, should the Federal Reserve, and/or its 12 regional banks, use Fed money to take such public advocacy positions?

(3) Was Fed spokesman Jim Strader accurate when he told the New York Times that the Fed's 12 regional member banks are privately owned, and not governmental in nature?

"I am interested to find out if Chairman Bernanke agrees that the flying of the rainbow flag in honor of 'Gay Pride Month' may violate the Federal Reserve's policy against participating in political activities at the bank," Marshall said.

In asking if Richmond Fed's spokesperson was really for real, Marshall is referring to this NYT article, in which said Dirty Fed operative loosely told the NYT "the bank is in fact privately owned, as are all regional Federal Reserves, and that it considers requests by employees — this was the first one — but not the general public." Obviously the large pair of low-hanging balls required to be real about the Fed's fake government status are a requirement to work at the Richmond Fed, who says a thing like that to the unwashed masses?

Listen, Bob, I really hate to break this to you (no I don't) but babysitting the regional banks does not fall within Bernanke's duties as Chief Operating Asshat of the Federal Reserve Board. Quick primer: the Board and the Richmond Fed are two different things. We can go over it again if you're still confused, it really isn't hard.

Paint me crazy but isn't it a tad hypocritical of a man who identifies as a Big Government-hating Republican to insist the allegedly-government Federal Reserve Board interfere in the activities of a private regional bank? Maybe I've been sniffing the fumes but how does Marshall reconcile this in his big mushy Republican brain? (That's rhetorical, btw, I realize most Republicans have this same "ailment." Being a libertarian myself, I fully support their right to be that way so long as it doesn't interfere in my life, which it really doesn't as it gives me something to make fun of when the news is slow.)

Besides, there are only a few more days left in this month and then the damn flag is gone forever. Until next year, maybe, when we can start this all over again.

Who else thinks we should all chip in and send Bob a gay I heart the Fed t-shirt? I know just the guy to hook them up.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're the one with his ass sore. Wonder why that might be?

I mean does the government have a secret heterosexual pride flag or a secret goat lover pride flag?

I'm a girl, dumbass.

And not into goats.

Anonymous said...

Just because you're a girl doesn't mean your ass can't be sore.