When There's No More Room Left In Hell...

pic credit: intelwars

Apparently UK prisons are at their breaking point thanks to all these lovely new rioter prags, who are probably getting bent over as you read this.

This account clashes a bit with earlier media reports, which stated the masterminds of the UK Riots were mostly juveniles. I cannot possibly envision a scenario where they start sticking 13 year olds in regular prison, so how is it prisons there are at capacity and about to break?

Their prisons minister doesn't seem to feel there is a problem:

Prisons Minister Crispin Blunt has said the disturbances in English cities this month were a "one-off" event.

Mr Blunt said the justice system could cope in the short-term and there would be no long-term effect on the prison population in England and Wales.

Last Friday the number of inmates hit a record of almost 87,000, largely driven by the riots, but the government expects numbers to fall again in 2012.

Seriously, they want us to believe this:

The speed and devastation with which the riots spread suggests they were organised.
Rioters in London Some argue that gangs were instrumental in co-ordinating the disorder

This wasn't a general uprising, says Christian Guy, policy director at think tank the Centre for Social Justice. It was a well co-ordinated operation, which is likely to have been led by young people in street gangs, he believes.

Daniel Weston, a youth worker in Brixton, says gangs in his area bided their time after the first night of violence in Tottenham.

When they were ready to strike, gang leaders used Blackberry Messenger, a closed network not visible to police, to mobilise younger gang members. Targets were identified - typically Footlocker, JD Sports and Currys - and gang members directed to them.
Gangs of fashionista thieves terrorizing retailers with BlackBerrys in hand? Something just doesn't smell right.

Anyway, if the good government folk out there can't make these people jobs (does that sound familiar?), they'll sentence the people to do stuff that resembles work for free:

"What we have to do is make sure there are prison places for those sent to prison by the courts and we will continue to do that regardless of how many people are sent to prison."

His comments came as he promoted the Ministry of Justice's previously-announced plan to make more use of community-based sentences for some offenders.

Mr Blunt confirmed that from next year unemployed offenders doing unpaid work - known as community payback - will be made to do it full-time rather than spread out over many months.

The Ministry of Justice has actual numbers on the rioters, of course, which break down to something like this:

1,630 appeared in court as of the 5th of September
22% are under 18
91% are male
66% have been remanded in custody

Still think the UK riots were some crackpot scheme plotted by a bunch of kids?

Someone PIN me when you're ready to rise up. 18 and over only, please, this is a grown-up fight.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.