I'm a Terrible Person But Ben Bernanke Is Not Off the Hook

Monday, November 14, 2011 4 Comments

 everything is better with kittens

I apologize for the absence, rest assured the black helicopters haven't gotten me.

Maybe I got a little burned out on all of it. Maybe I've had other shit to do. I have a nasty ass cat from the Washington Humane Society who reeks from the inside (love him but he's gross), and I have an hour and a half a day commute that is killing me and I live in the murder capital of DC. I write about how fucked up the Federal Reserve is and give advice to accounting students for a living. You can see how one might burn out from that pretty quick.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good life. The rank ass cat is entertaining most of the time when he isn't stinking up my amazing condo hidden in the hood. No one gets murdered on my doorstep, the myth of how dangerous DC is is mostly just that, a myth. But you won't catch me walking to Metro any time soon, I drive. Everywhere. Driving in DC has given me freeway PTSD; I don't leave the house unless I have to (good thing too, I hear it's wild out there). I pile up errands at weird hours and still somehow hit traffic. 10pm on 295. 7am on 495. 2am on 50. It's all awful. This tells me DC has reached capacity. It's amazing how no one here even recognizes an economic glitch in the Matrix for the last few years.

I've also spent the last week running the show at Going Concern (while somehow managing said hour and a half commute from hell in the worst place in all of America to have to drive your car and a few hours at my day job), which is exhausting in and of itself. The accounting industry is fucking scary, people, I've seen it first hand. These kids are confused, overworked, undereducated and few of them are ever taught proper English. They will inherit the empire one day. Think about that. Think about the kind of bullshit they have grown up watching. Tyco. Enron. Worldcom. And they are taught virtually the same accounting system that brought us those frauds. They've been chased into their own corner and told how to behave. For the short term, accounting is fighting with itself on how best it can fix itself. Like I said, it's scary. You'd be wise to pay attention.

I feel honored to get to spend time with the future accounting partners (or private accounting public drop-outs) of America, even if they are horribly confused and not very well-written some of the time.

At some point it's just too much. Greece. Italy. Bernanke. The euro finally falling apart.

I came home from work the other day to find RT on the TV, my two WHS cats suspiciously prowling the living room in front of it. I turned off the TV before I went to work (electricity isn't free WTF). You can't trust DC street cats. I wanted to ignore the news that day but I couldn't because I'm constantly being assaulted by it on my BlackBerry. Fuck, even BlackBerry is dying.

It's overwhelming. I'm fucking tired. I've been waiting for this shit to blow up since March of 2009 and so far, the only thing I've landed from this crisis is a gig giving advice to accountants and a piece of tail across enemy lines. As good as that is, it's tiring betting on it to blow up with no explosion thus far.

I'm not sure how long these guys can keep up appearances but apparently it is at a minimum 2 years and 8 months.

Seriously fucking tired.

I'll get it together one of these days.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


chairmanben said...

Provisioning CPE credits for wayward CPAs has to beat freeway PTSD.

PS. Olympus Japan accountants need some CPEs to help shake the disease.

Anonymous said...

"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."

TS was sort of a "drama queen" but you see what I'm sayin'.

Anonymous said...


A commenter at my shop reminded me recently that I have done as much as anyone could do to warn others, and that I could take care of myself now with a clear conscience.

I give you the same compliments and dispensation.

See you on the beach.


Concerned American

Graybeard said...

I will echo Concerned American.

But if we were living in DC, Mrs. Graybeard or I wouldn't leave the house unarmed. I don't know how realistic it is to get a concealed carry permit there (how much Heller really changed things) but you might want to look into that.

Economic Matrix? You're living in the zombie hive. When the dollar collapses, the roaming undead will be looking to take anything you've got.