TLP: Does This Mean I Get to Skip the Census Next Time Around?

survey threat
I thought the Obama Administration's bold move to cut swag expenditures in the federal budget meant they were serious about saving money. I'm sure there's plenty of waste in the purchasing of giveaways that become throwaways — otherwise, why would the swag industry be bitching so loudly?

And then I get this:

Yes, the U.S. Census Bureau twice in as many weeks sent me a hefty envelope containing the American Community Survey and threatened me in BOLD CAPS if I didn't comply and fill it out. And expected to get it back in two weeks! Hey, I'm lazy. In fact, my first name is Lazy. And I can't be the only one.

But guess what, Census Bureau? I'd actually gotten around to filling it out and had already given it to the mailman. (I hear he needs the work.) So the survey crew in Jeffersonville, Indiana, can get ready to read all about whether I have a job, how I get there, if I have health insurance and if I went to college. And other stuff too mind-numbing to recount. Knock yourselves out.

And, hey, send me a note and let me know how I did.

The Lazy Paperboy

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


wcv said...

Do you have to respond for people tied up in your basement too?

Anonymous said...

I got that too. Had to answer questions about flush toilets and hot running water. I ignored it 'till they phoned the shack and told me I had been assigned a "case number". I proceeded to answer their questions in a manner that I was hoping would cause them much shame and disgust. Told the one dude on the phone I was going to make him hate his job if he didn't already. He was laughing his fool fucking head off.

Good thing you got those flush toilets and hot water this year ...

Looking over the survey, I see that they sent out 3 million of them. As I've said before, I'm no mathlete, but I'm pretty sure that puts us in the 1 percent.

As far as who I may or may not respond for, that's between me and the Census Bureau, which has promised to protect my privacy and also helpfully threatened its own people with jail (!!) if they tell anyone how lazy I am.

Anonymous said...

I answered most of the questions, then scanned that mother fucker in as a TIF file and then carbon copied Senate members via the internet with my comments about what a fucked up requirement was being put upon regular people.... who work every god damned day and pay their fucking salaries. I told them that if my grandpa Graff were alive and they tried to get his shipyard machinist ass to answer these kinds of questions, he would have told them to roll up their fucking American Community Survey (with highly intrusive questions) into a nice tight spiral, bend over and lube up, and then jam that fucker up their asses. I asked my rep's what kind of a fucked up Republic they were running anyway... they have yet to answer which I find unfair. I answered their questions (mostly) and they are not polite enough to answer mine.... don't you hate it when people are not polite? Gets on my last nerve... nice to see you back in the trenches, Adrienne.