We Have No Idea If a Ninja Got Arrested at Reagan Airport



You know how sometimes the news forgets the important bits? Like where this maniac with the knives is RIGHT NOW?

The Transportation Security Administration says officers found two throwing daggers hidden in a hollowed-out book at a checkpoint at Reagan-Washington National Airport.

A TSA spokesman says a passenger was stopped Monday when officers found the hidden daggers in the passenger’s carry-on bag. The daggers, which measured just over half a foot long, were hidden in the hard-cover book.

This is an AP report. Now, it goes on to say that a TSA spokesperson didn't get back to them and therefore they have no idea if the guy got arrested or not. See, I'm a hack not an actual journalist but even I know you have to put together a minimum of details if you're going to publish a story. That's sort of a big one.

WHERE IS THIS PSYCHO?

The LA Times is no help either. I don't care how long the knives were and how artfully concealed they were, I need to know if whatever freak who tried to bring these to the airport is not wandering around Washington as we speak.

The Hill doesn't mention an arrest either. So we can assume one of two things. A) This story is entirely manufactured to make us think that TSA actually does something functional (Really? Who smuggles daggers into the airport? On the "Ninja Equipment" page of a book called Ninja: The Shadow Warrior? REALLY?!) and they forgot to write the details or B) the guy who actually attempted this stunt was released by TSA even though he allegedly smuggled knives in his carry-on. Which is more unbelievable?

Thanks for nothing, guys.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

0 comments: