Pay In Cash? You Might Be a Terrorist

Oh dear, someone give these guys something to do already.

Via Info Wars:

An FBI advisory aimed at Internet Cafe owners instructs businesses to report people who regularly use cash to pay for their coffee as potential terrorists.

The flyer, issued under the FBI’s Communities Against Terrorism (CAT) program, lists examples of “suspicious activity” and then encourages businesses to gather information about individuals and report them to the authorities.

“Each flyer is designed for a particular kind of business,” writes Linda Lewis, a former policy analyst and planner for the U.S. government. “For example, this list was prepared for owners of internet cafes. Unquestionably, someone planning a terrorist attack has engaged in one or more of the “suspicious” activities on that list. But so, too, have most of the estimated 289 million computer users in this country.”

Indeed, the flyer aimed at Internet Cafe owners characterizes customers who “always pay cash” as potential terrorists.

Public Intelligence shares many of the flyers, which target everyone from hotel operators to tattoo parlors. The funny part is that "not leaving the room" or "refusing cleaning service" is supposed to be a terrorist warning sign for hotel operators. To me, that's called vacation. Though my humanitarian work here on this site may not be perceived as such by authorities, I assure you I am no terrorist.

I really found the flyer to beauty stores to be hilarious. A natural brunette, I have been DIYing my own highlights for as long as I can remember. According to the flyer, I might be a terrorist as a result. Is it my fault I need 40 volume developer to get my skunk streak totally white?

Oh, and if you dare to imply the US played a part in the 9/11 attacks, you're a terrorist, according to the flyers. "Fury at the West for reasons ranging from personal problems to global policies of the U.S." is also listed as a sign you might be a terrorist, so perhaps WC Varones should get packing and head to Canada sooner rather than later.

It's a cold hard world out there. Do we really need this too? 

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

Osama captured by Missouri rednecks... were it only true - that would be real entertainment.