USPS Mailmen Are Tree-Hating, Clutter-Loving Polluters


Know what I hate? Mail. In all forms. I hate that Washingtonian sold my information (I subscribe... and no, I will not renew when my subscription is up thanks to this shady tactic) so I get all kinds of weird offers for Nestle Pure Life and car insurance that clutter up my mailbox. I pay all of my bills online like most people these days and though I have elected to receive most of my bills via email, I still get bombarded by Victoria's Secret catalogs, insurance offers and proxy statements. No sooner do I clean out my mailbox than more crap magically appears with my name on it. Worse, I seem to end up with my neighbors' mortgage statements and bills at least once a week even though our names are not at all similar and we obviously live in different units.

I proudly work for a company which buys carbon offsets to make up for the few things we print a year and our energy usage during office hours though I am certainly not a tree-hugging crazy about it. I recycle my beer bottles, stack my pizza boxes and turn lights off when I am not using them but I wouldn't call myself an environmentalist, I figure this Earth is doomed with or without global warming.

Anyway, I was watching teevee tonight on my 47" Energy Star HDTV and happened to see an ad paid for by the United States Postal Service that apparently wants Americans to reconsider their distaste for paper. According to the mailmen, businesses need to start sending more useless pieces of paper to show how much they care... or something.

Watch this (transcript included below for LOL purposes):


"VO: A refrigerator has never been hacked.

An online virus has never attacked a corkboard.

Give your customers the added feeling of security a printed statement or receipt provides with Mail.

It's good for your business.

And even better for your customers.

For safe and secure ways to stay connected, visit usps.com/mail"
Umm... an "online virus" has never attacked a MacBook either, USPS, where have you been? Hanging out in an AOL chat room?

Added security, huh? For whom? The mailmen who are afraid they'll be out of a job if this whole "let's use the Internet so we don't have to waste paper" thing keeps up? I don't see the trend moving in USPS' favor any time soon.

Therefore, I'm concluding from this ad that the USPS is nothing but a bunch of selfish, inconsiderate, tree-hating, clutter-loving polluters who would love nothing more than to see the remainder of America's lush forests cut down and made into useless paper stuffed into useless envelopes and sent back and forth across the country for no apparent reason.

79 comments:

The Lazy Paperboy said...

I'm with you, unless the mail is handwritten in a familiar script or contains what I like to call items.

twindaddy said...

They didn't even mention the fact that they could lose said unnecessary paper mail.

W.C. Varones said...

Carbon credits? Really, JDA?

As for those jeep-driving, environment-trashing yahoos known as mailmen, I've been getting pounded in the box lately by Schwab trade confirmations. Money markets are for suckers, so I have to keep rolling FDIC-insured CDs. I buy a $1000 3-month CD at 0.2% meaning I'm going to earn a whole 50 cents on it (thank you Zimbabwe Ben), and Schwab sends me a confirmation that costs them 37 cents to mail plus whatever it costs them in paper and printing.

Thanks for reminding me. I'm going to switch to electronic confirmations. F the mailmen.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the article except for the fact that I am a mail lady with 15 years of service and this is how I put food on the table for my family. You are selfish-very selfish. If you knew the first thing about the economy you wold realize that USPS drives 75 percent of our economy. Not only does it actually help small business and large businesses but it creates over 1 billion jobs. My husband is an accountant for a HUGE corporation-if every single person/company paid electronicially the need for accountants would drop 50 percent. Instead of writing a "snarky" stuck up article about yourself educate yourself on how the mail system works. You are self centered and the sad part is that your way of thinking about bite you in the butt one day. Good luck!

Liam Skye said...

Let's see if I have this right. When a fat beer-swilling pig stacks his pizza boxes next to his world-class collection of energy-guzzling entertainment devices he is a responsible environmentalist (because he doesn't live near the coal or uranium mines), but when his neighbor recycles renewable resources, like paper, he is a tree-hating polluter.

Sorry, but I'm not buying it.

Anonymous said...

You are an ignorant person. My son(who is 36 years old) spent 3 years in Iraq and about 20 months ago came home and absolutly could not find a job (here in the DC area) to support his wife and 2 children. USPS is the only one who actually gave him a chance.

Reading your biography you are close minded, not very worldly and feel entitled to everything. You are a very negative person which for some reason you seem to be ok with. It's one thing to be opinionated-but it's another think to be cold hearted and negative.

Ron Silverstein

W.C. Varones said...

It's not like there won't be FedEx and UPS after the government post office dies.

FedEx loves hiring veterans.

The Lazy Paperboy said...

WCV - If Schwab is paying 37 cents postage to send your statements, who is paying the other 7 cents? Maybe it's 8 more cents by now; I think there was a rate increase. Either way, sounds like a subsidized bulk rate, so calculate and deduct your share of the subsidy from that 50-cent windfall.

Liam Skye said...

W.C. Varones: Actually FedEx and UPS are not everywhere today so there is no basis for thinking that they would be in a post-USPS world. Most likely, if USPS' extensive delivery network were dismantled at least 30% of the country would not be served at all. UPS and FedEx are highly unlikely to step into that void so, presumably, it would eventually become filled by smaller regional outfits.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Well good afternoon to all of you. I just got my "fat beer-swilling pig" ass out of bed so let's attack this one by one...

twindaddy: EXACTLY. See also: me constantly receiving my neighbor's mortgage statement even though we have different names and different apartments. Good thing I am honest and go bring it to her (like our MAILMAN IS SUPPOSED TO DO).

WCV: I was being sarcastic. I'm no environmentalist. I was serious about recycling though.

Anonymous at 9:37a: I am sure you are a really nice mail lady and your customers love you but I would advise you avoid doing math from now on. Where do you get your figure about the USPS driving 75 percent of the economy? Our economy is driven by innovation, not antiquated ideas of paper. Basically what you are saying is that we should resist the urge to innovate just so people can stay in a job? That makes no sense. And as for it creating 1 billion jobs, uh, who are these jobs for since we only have 300-some million people in the United States? Maybe Chinese deforesters busy chopping down their forests to make more paper? Please feel free to return and explain to me how mail works then because obviously I need help figuring that out.

Liam Skye: No, you have it way wrong. First of all, I'm not a dude. Second, I did not say anything about my neighbor recycling, I was talking about the USPS wanting to kill more trees by having us send as many useless pieces of paper as possible. Pay attention.

And to Ron Silverstein, does your son work in the hood by any chance? Maybe he's the mailman who screws up my neighbor's mortgage statement every month. Thank him for his service to our country and I'm glad he has a job but that doesn't mean we as Americans owe him anything (sorry, I'd opt out of mail completely if I could) and it certainly doesn't mean we should be environmentally irresponsible and mail more useless paper just to keep mailmen in a job. As for me being entitled, I have no idea where you got THAT from. Everything I have I have worked my butt off for. As for my negative world view... I don't know how anyone could live in this world and NOT feel negative or cynical toward it. But hey, to each his own.

Now, can any of you point me in the direction of the person to speak to to opt out of mail completely? My local Postmaster maybe? Thanks

Anonymous said...

WCV----for the 9th year in a row, fed-ex was the post office's biggest supplier- UPS was 11th...they use the post office every day, i know, i work on the dock at one such location and see them both twice daily- just on 1st shift...

Liam Skye said...

Jr. Deputy Accountant: I don't know of any way to opt out of mail completely but the Direct Marketing Association has an opt-out list that their members honor.

www.dmachoice.org

It might not eliminate unwanted advertising mail but I have heard that it greatly reduces it.

Anonymous said...

Well darling-You must not be a very educated individual on how marketing works. I agree-we do not owe those 2 individuals anything but as someone who OWNS and RUNS my own business I can assure you if there were not Post office more then 90 percent of my work would be dead. USPS drives a good portion of the economy (I don't know exact figures) maybe "mail lady" is right but I can assure you as someone who has been in the marketing industry for over 20 years the post office is what drives it. EDUCATE YOURSELF! in order to "innovate" anything it has to be marketed, meaning you have to actually "advertise" in order to advertise it takes aboout 12 individuals (on average) to market one product. This includes Graphic designers,advertisements in the mail and 10 other "behind the scenes guys." Meaning if USPS does not exist every single one of those jobs goes down the hole. EDUCATE yourself-you sound like a stupid young yuppie who really does think she's entitled. Grow up because entitled doesn't equal material things-you are so wraped up on yourself that you don't hear anything else-it's your way or the highway-it's pathetic.

PS: USPS employs the most Veterans in the United States-again EDUCATE YOURSELF

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Thanks, Liam, I will check that out. I'm convinced that if USPS eliminated junk mail or at least charged the junk mail pimps a fair rate, their cash flow problem would be immediately relieved. It's a bad business model, in my mind, to put customers' annoyance below making a quick buck. I must pull a circular I don't want out of my mailbox at least three times a week, which ends up in my recycling bin untouched.

I'd have more sympathy for the plight of the USPS if they didn't seem so dead set on annoying the shit out of me every time I go to my mailbox.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Hahahaha Anon at 12:46 PM, thanks for the laugh!!

I am actually a marketer myself, except I market in TODAY'S WORLD, meaning I can accomplish more for my company on Facebook and Twitter than I ever could sending out pieces of paper no one will read! So yeah, thanks for the education but I'm good on all that.

So perhaps YOU are the one who needs to educate yourself. Have you considered Internet marketing? It's effective, trackable and far cheaper than spamming people with mail they don't want as they have to "opt in" to your marketing message. What graphic designers do you work with that actually MAIL their designs? Are you on some island without Internet access or something? Well obviously not because you made this comment.

Lastly, while I am honored you think I'm some spoiled brat, I am the child of a single mother who struggled most of my childhood just to put food on our table. I have worked since the age of 14 to have nice things for myself. If that's a yuppie, it's news to me.

If you want me to educate myself, do me a favor and link to something I can read. Spouting off statements you present as fact does nothing for anyone.

Anonymous said...

Jr Deputy-You thinking what is in your mailbox is junk is simply because you may be able to afford everyday items and really could care less about the local service shop having a sale for an oil change 20 bucks cheaper. Those of us who live in the midwest where cities are over 30 minutes a way and the average income of a 3/4 person family is 45,000 those coupons mean the world to us. I live in a small town here in Iowa-there's 3500 ppl here. I would say a good group on individuals are retired, 40 percent of the work force works for the Post office or the plant and then the other ppl are either in construction or work for the county. If the post office was taken away in our small down not only would the economy here be affected but the elderly wouldn't be able to get their medications or retirement checks. This is a working class town.

I get what you are saying-but I also realize you live in the Washington D.C. area-where jobs definitly aren't scarce and the economy is booming.

I LOVE reading your site but this article has really made me slighly angry and upset. NOT everyone lives where you live, not everyone has the privledges and abilities you have. I get what you are saying, but the way you said it was not right.

I read your articles every week, but now I really am rethinking it.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

One last thing, Anon at 12:46 PM, you wouldn't happen to also work for the postal service in addition to owning your own business, would you?

Just curious... not sure why a business owner completely unrelated to the postal service would be Googling "USPS News" on a Saturday. Is your business Ebay auctions or something? Help a girl out, just trying to paint the picture.

Anonymous said...

I also wanted to add since you seem to come off as a know it all. I'm 26 years old and I not everyone here in Iowa has internet/computer access-actually the majority of ppl dont. I am lucky that I am married to a cop and have the luxury of having the internet. Why only do marketing via the internet if some ppl dont have all the luxuries you may have?

It's just very offensive because the post office in this town is what drives the economy.

It's articles like this and comments you are making that make me relaize that our society is trying so hard to push out the poor so the rich can get richer. Not everone has your washington dc luxuries. Please keep that in mind.

I'm done with your blog-I loved the way you wrote but this article and your rude remarks to individuals pushed me the wrong way.

Stop putting veterans down, stop putting the mail down, you dont like the mail we get it but life isn't all about you.

Have a great weekend

Anonymous said...

No-one forces you to receive mail. If you had a standard box on the street, you could simply remove it and the mail would be returned as "no mail receptacle".

I think you have a box in a cluster box? I would just put a note in their that you do not wish to have delivery there anymore. The carrier should just put a vacant slip in there (for the subs) and all the mail would be returned to sender.

Anonymous said...

Ack! I used their instead of there. oops 8-)

Anonymous said...

Why do you blame the postal service for putting crap in your mailbox? The postal sevice just delivers the crap that companies pay to send out. Call Victoria Secret and tell them to stop sending you the catalogue. Usps has no say in what you get in your mailbox. I am a letter carrier and know for a fact how you can stop all your mail. Get rid of your mailbox and the carrier will return all your mail to sender (it will go back to sender endorsed "no mail recepticle").
I know you won't do this because you still want mail. You sound like soneone who just likes to complain and was handed everything your whole life. Let me know how it works out without a mailbox.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon at 12:58p... strange, you read me often? According to my log you're the same person that's been making multiple other comments but maybe I have that wrong.

Don't get it twisted, I'm not rolling in dough. I don't make $100,000 a year. I'm a writer, how much do you expect me to make?

I too look for deals (it would be stupid not to) but I am not looking for them in my mailbox. Power to people who do but even my retired grandparents in the midwest didn't use junk mail for their coupons back when they were alive, they got them out of the newspaper or in-store circulars.

Let's open up my latest "Washington Post Shopping Guide" which arrives approximately three times a week (or at least it seems I'm constantly throwing one away)... Hmm... a deal on windows? Don't need any of those. The Safeway circular I can get at Safeway that I don't need because I look for the yellow tags when I'm shopping anyway? No thanks. Oh hey, a deal on carpet cleaning? Damn, too bad I have wood floors.

I did NOT say the USPS should die, I merely had the guts to say the new "marketing" plan of the USPS' which tells Americans to be wasteful and use more paper is irresponsible. How dare I.

I am not an elite DC prick. I came from nothing and worked to get what I have. I appreciate hard-working individuals and I'm glad the USPS exists to hire veterans but MORE mail is not their solution. It's time to truly innovate or the USPS really is headed to the grave, and then what?

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon at 1:10 PM: OK, I'll get Victoria's Secret on the phone right now... how about getting the USPS to stop stuffing my mailbox with the Washington Post Shopping Guide that I never use and hate having to recycle every few days? It is addressed to "Resident" so I know I didn't sign up for it as I would surely use my own name.

How do I make THAT stop?

Anonymous said...

Did you get rid of your mailbox yet? Tell your parents to use Fedex when they send you your allowance.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Thanks Anon at 1:22p but my mother is dead and I never knew my dad. I haven't gotten an "allowance" since I was 12. I did once get a guitar as a gift from my mom but she turned around and sold it so we could eat that week.

So you're an asshole.

Anonymous said...

That washington post crap comes from a company called Advo, not the postal service. Do your research dudette

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Thanks, Anon @ 1:25 PM (what is it with no one wanting to sign their names to their comments? Yeesh) but isn't the USPS the one who offers this company a deeply discounted rate to send this crap to my house? I never implied that the marketing material is produced, published AND delivered by the postal service, I'm saying the postal service facilitates my annoyance by giving companies like these a deal on spamming mailboxes everywhere.

Maybe if they charged full price, the crap would stop and more mailmen would have a job. Just think about it.

Anonymous said...

"Now, can any of you point me in the direction of the person to speak to to opt out of mail completely? My local Postmaster maybe? Thanks"

Two or three of us have already told you how to do this, so why would you be calling Victoria Secret or anyone else to opt out of mail completely?

Anonymous said...

lol technocly USPS isn't in debt or is suffering-it's President Bush mandating them to prefund retirement 75 years in advance. If the Government returned the money they do not even USPS would actually be doing very well.

I don't think these ppl are neccesarily saying you are a "rick pampered person." I think we are all saying that you happen to live in DC and generally you have everything under your nose. I used to live in that area-I know how pppl acted, dressed, etc. But that's 1 percent of the population-the majority of America don't live in that kind of area.

Getting coupons in the mail to get 15 percent off my next dining bill is what my family looks forward to because we don't have the DC luxury where everything is under your nose.

Like others have said-we get it now move on..but this world doesn't revolve around your DC pampered ass. period.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you about charging full price to marketers. As a letter carrier I ask myself this all the time. I guess it's too political for me to comprehend.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Lucky you, Anon at 1:32 PM, for being able to afford dinner out. I'm on a pretty tight budget (gotta keep up this 'pampered' lifestyle, you know) so I don't have that kind of luxury.

I don't have everything under my nose, I live in the hood. I don't dress like a lobbyist, I don't hang out in Georgetown. You're making broad assumptions about my lifestyle based on YOUR experience in DC, which is pretty ignorant if you ask me.

If I'm pampered, I'd hate to see what being broke looks like.

Instead of making this a discussion about me, though, why don't we get back to the subject at hand, which is this really poorly-thought-out marketing campaign by the USPS to convince us to waste more paper by sending more mail?

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon at 1:34p - I bet it sucks having to lug around a bunch of paper your customers may never look at and then to know that your employer gave the company sending out the paper a huge discount to do it? I would be really mad.

I also bet that if mail carriers had fewer junk mailings to deal with, they could more effectively get mail people actually want to the right place. I bet our mailman here would manage to get my neighbor's mortgage statement into the right box a lot more often if he didn't also have to handle all those circulars none of us read.

Anonymous said...

well like others have stated. It's not a poor marketing campaign at all actuall. If everyone worked together in an economy like this we would all be helping eachother out. I know how to fix my own car, I can change my oil and practically do everything myself but once in a blue moon taking it into the shop doesn't kill me-it actaully helps those individuals put food on the table also. If we all sent 2 letters a year or 2 bills a year that could keep open tons of post offices throughout the country like where the person above me lives. So many country folks out there who depend on the postal service. I just think we need to stop thinking about only ourselves because it really does hurt the economy more. If we all pitched in a little we could all save tons of jobs and keep the economy going. The service on my car example was just that, an "example." But you get of drift

Also I'm assuming you may not understand how carriers work. They generally work 5 days a week and get one day off-and during that one day off a "sub" fills in. I'm assuming the sub on your route must be screwing up the mortgage statment. I'd suggest figuring out what day the screw ups occur and report it to the post office because most likely it's the sub, not the regular.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon @ 1:46 PM, thanks for bringing it back to a civil place. Now we're getting somewhere.

When I still lived in San Francisco, my boyfriend lived in Virginia and we sent letters (yes, actual letters) back and forth even though we also had email. Even to this day now that I'm in DC and he's only a few hours away, he often sends me cards and letters in the actual mail and I admit that I really enjoy getting those in his familiar script.

I am a fan of written letters. When my mom died almost two years ago, one of her old high school friends I never met sent a card of condolence to my grandparents' house. Well I wrote her back and we have kept in touch via written letters since. That is something that you can't get via email.

If you're talking about 2 - 3 letters a YEAR really making a difference, I am completely down with that! I took from the USPS ad that we should be scared of "online viruses" and sacrifice the greater good of the environment in favor of sending more paper.

I completely agree with you that this is a group effort, I just felt that the message of the ad was a selfish one. We all have to eat, not just mail carriers.

Honestly, I would fully support the USPS coming forth and saying "Listen, Americans, we need your help. If you just sent 2 more actual letters a year, you could save your mail service." But that's not going to happen.

And even if it does, the political issues crippling the postal service might override any benefit sending more mail would provide. So that's where I'm saying that USPS really needs to do some soul-searching to save itself.

It's unfortunate that the mail carriers are the ones who suffer. It isn't their fault. I never intended to imply as much.

Anonymous said...

" Have you considered Internet marketing? It's effective, trackable and far cheaper than spamming people with mail they don't want as they have to "opt in" to your marketing message."

The only reason I have ever opted-in to email mailing lists is to receive a coupon to somewhere. After that, every time I get an email from those places I hit DELETE. When I get a catalog in the mail, I will at least look at it even if I don't buy something from it. Yeah, internet marketing really work......

*rolls eyes*

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon @ 3:09 PM, where in my comment did I mention mailing lists? I specifically said Twitter and Facebook - as far as I am aware, there is no way to spam unwilling people on either of those sites, so my job is to put out valuable content that people want to read. We do not operate a mailing list, that's tacky.

I too delete any mailing list crap I get. In fact, I take it a step further and unsubscribe so I can report them to the FTC if the spam mailing list crap continues.

Have fun with your catalogs.

Anonymous said...

You are the tree hater! Why do you have a Mailbox? Just use on-line pay, and take down your box. It's your fault for having a Mailing address, and encouraging poeple to Mail to you.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Anon @ 3:26 PM, thank you for the helpful suggestion however I am unable to simply "remove" the box as I live in a multi-unit building.

I have reduced my mail to the minimum possible. If you have any helpful suggestions as to how I can reduce it further, I'm all ears.

I'm going to start writing "RETURN TO SENDER" on all the junk mail I get from now on and see how that goes. Should keep my friendly postal workers busy for awhile...

Al said...

"Maybe if they charged full price, the crap would stop and more mailmen would have a job. Just think about it."
I thought about it. They charge full price the crap stops, that means there is less to deliver but they need more mailmen?????

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Al,

Think a little deeper. If they charge regular price for "marketing" mail, the marketers will reconsider blasting people with nonsense they don't want and throw away anyway. This might lead to more effective marketing campaigns since they're paying more to mail them out, which means the postal service makes more money on the mail it was deeply discounting to these scumbags, which means an improved return on investment for marketers, which means they can sink more of the money they're making on effective campaigns back into mailing even more effective campaigns.

Maybe I'm giving marketers too much credit here but it makes sense to me.

The concept being that MORE mail isn't the solution, MORE EFFECTIVE mail is.

Anonymous said...

Fyi. Only first class mail gets returned to sender. Bulk mail (catalogues) are not.
Even though you live in an apartment building you can still get rid of your mailbox. You can just tape it and write "no mail accepted". Your mail carrier will be happy to return it to sender. Less mail for them to take out.
I have people like you on my route. They write little stupid notes like "no junk mail". The policy is all mail or no mail. We can not classify what junk is. Everything is junk to me.
But you should seriously tape your mailbox off if you want to save a tree.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

"I have people like you on my route. They write little stupid notes like "no junk mail". The policy is all mail or no mail. We can not classify what junk is. Everything is junk to me."

Are you this guy?!

Serious question though... do you get junk mail in your mailbox or can mail carriers pull each other aside one mailman to the other and be like "hey bro, seriously, I don't want any fucking catalogs." ? I always wondered about that.

Anonymous said...

Asking another mailman to not deliver junk mail is never done among ourselves. That would mean they would have to lug it back to the station...and we rarely see our own mailmen.
Get rid of your mailbox if you dare. You will soon find out how important the mail is. If you choose to keep it, please dont blog about this issue again. I offered you a concrete/fail-safe solution.
Remember, It isnt profitable to deliver mail to everyone, but current laws force the postal service to do so.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

You said: "Remember, It isnt profitable to deliver mail to everyone, but current laws force the postal service to do so."

THIS RIGHT THERE. God, now it all makes sense.

So you're telling me that somewhere on the books exists a law that MAKES the postal service deliver mail people don't want even if it drives them out of business?

So perhaps my entire issue here should not be with USPS at all but with Congress? As usual. Now I see why you guys are so angry all the time.

Anonymous said...

Its a congressional law. We are not allowed to be profitable. Universal delivery law. Check it out.
Its 5 o'clock in the morning, conversation got boring ...

W.C. Varones said...

Ah, more mailman moaning about having to actually put real money in the pension fund.

You don't like having to pay for the friggin' pension, then give up your pensions, you greedheads!

I have to pay into my 401k and I take on all the market risk. You pampered government workers get a guaranteed income for life so quit bitching.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Careful, WCV, comments like that will make them tell you how much you hate veterans and America and babies and rainbows, you selfish prick.

Love,
the spoiled pampered DC elitist prick

Anonymous said...

The old timers have a good pension. I am on FERS and i have a 401k also(but its called tsp). Another un-informed idiot. You are the type of person that surfs the web for half the day at work and then has the balls to comment on work productivity. Take a close look at yourself.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

HAHAHA are you referring to the many HUNDREDS of hits I've gotten from the USPS all around the country on this very post since yesterday and am still getting as we speak?

WCV and I are elitist pricks who only work Monday - Friday so you can't possibly be implying that we're working on a Saturday, unlike the folks employed by the USPS who are using USPS computers to troll USPS news on the Internet. Besides, we don't have government jobs so if our employers want to pay us to fuck off on their dime, that's their business.

Anonymous said...

20% of mailmen have that great pension you're so jealous of. Please do some research before you make dumbass comments

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. I suspect Jr Deputy Accountant is really just a lying sack of sh*t.

Anonymous said...

That usps computer gets heavy out on those walking routes. Mailmen are not paid by tax payers. We are paid by people who buy stamps. If you don't like it, dont buy stamps. We are a self-sufficient govt agency. Tax dollars dont pay my salary

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Maybe things have turned around in the 5 months since this NYT article was written but last I heard, stamps aren't paying the bills over there:

"The United States Postal Service has long lived on the financial edge, but it has never been as close to the precipice as it is today: the agency is so low on cash that it will not be able to make a $5.5 billion payment due this month and may have to shut down entirely this winter unless Congress takes emergency action to stabilize its finances.

“Our situation is extremely serious,” the postmaster general, Patrick R. Donahoe, said in an interview. “If Congress doesn’t act, we will default.”

In recent weeks, Mr. Donahoe has been pushing a series of painful cost-cutting measures to erase the agency’s deficit, which will reach $9.2 billion this fiscal year. They include eliminating Saturday mail delivery, closing up to 3,700 postal locations and laying off 120,000 workers — nearly one-fifth of the agency’s work force — despite a no-layoffs clause in the unions’ contracts."

Anonymous said...

"...unlike the folks employed by the USPS who are using USPS computers to troll USPS news on the Internet..."

I clicked on the tab at the top and saw the pic of you standing in front of the Liberty Bell, and it looks like you are spending too much time in front of a computer instead of getting some excercise.

If you accuse postal people of hating trees so much, I sure hope you don't have any wooden furniture in your house, or live in a wood frame house. I would sure hate to see you exposed as a hypocrite.

Anonymous said...

Stamps arent paying the bills because we can not make profitable moves. Are you listening to any of the comments? Congress and the media have created the mess. The postal service is a cash cow. Donohue is in bed with congress. They want to privatize. I honestly hope they privatize the mail. Then you can send out christmas cards for $10 a piece. Then you can start a blog about that. Something else to complain about

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

It's a good thing I'm confident and not at all self-conscious about my appearance or else that remark might have stung a bit, Anonymous at 7:10 PM. Next time you throw personal digs at people, try having the balls to sign your name. Oh, and let's see a pic of your ripped mailman body while we're going there.

ANYWAY. I don't see the wood furniture industry taking out commercials (which cost money) during a time of economic turmoil for said wood furniture industry companies. So you completely missed the point. I own lots of wood furniture. And I even have wood floors. How dare I!!

As I have already said very clearly, I am not an environmentalist. I just think it is irresponsible on the part of the USPS to take out teevee commercials to promote its services and suggest that we should kill more trees to send actual paper when there are much more effective electronic delivery options available.

It's not our fault email is more efficient than the human being who stuffs my neighbor's mortgage statement into my mailbox every month.

Anonymous said...

Have you taped off your mailbox yet?

The Lazy Paperboy said...

She should have some time to "tape off" her mailbox. Unless her mailman is overly magnanimous and decides to deliver on Sunday. The way things are going, Saturdays won't matter, either, which would seem to be a good thing, given all the time mailmen seem to spend on the Internet on Saturdays.

W.C. Varones said...

FERS is a pension, genius.

Just because it's called FERS doesn't mean it's not a pension.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

What I am having trouble understanding is why I'm the one being attacked when there should be a Million Mailman March happening in DC right now to demand Congress fix this mess.

I'm not the one who made USPS come up with ACTUAL money to fund its pension obligations (see how well "fake money" works for pensions by looking up any number of bankrupt municipalities that have tried this) and I'm certainly not the one who said it had to be done in 10 years.

Perhaps if mail carriers want more Americans on their side, they should do less insult-throwing on the Internet and more educating of Americans. See, I've poked this hornet's nest before so I am more than aware of USPS's "real" problem versus the problem the media pushes. Even the USPS itself is in denial. That's who most of you should be mad at, not me. All I'm trying to do is open up the conversation and say "Hey, this ad was a really stupid idea."

If mail carriers can't see that, I feel really sorry for all of you. You'd defend the employer that is bending you over to sell your future to a bunch of Washington elitists even though you know you're being bent over? What a sad existence.

Anonymous said...

Look around and you'd see USPS is protesting. The 55 year old veteran in Wisconsin is protesting...that's probably y so many ppl are looking up USPS news.

The mail system will never stop existing..it will add services and change their business model but there are too many industries that rely on it and will always rely on it.

pinkyswear said...

I apologize for sending you those birthday cards in the mail. I didn't know.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Awww, don't say that, PS.

Funny, I was actually cleaning out my closet the other day and came across something you'd mailed me years ago that I've kept to this day.

Like I said in an earlier comment, I think hand-written letters are pretty cool. It's the "Resident" and "special offer just for you!" crap I resent.

Rick said...

Today is "thank a mailman" day. And you're welcome.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

I thought Sunday was "thank a mailman" day. Thanks for the update, Rick!

Anonymous said...

Bottom line is that being a mailman is just a job. A job that currently feeds my kids. Your using this blog and your intelligence to downgrade people's lives. Not everyone can be as smart as you. And FERS is a pension but it pays out peanuts. social security and my tsp will be my retirement funds. Try being nice to your mailman this week. They dont support their employer's views. They support their families.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

In that case, Anon @ 9:43 PM, THANK YOU for working for a living and not being on welfare.

When do you plan to retire? Because I'm about 99.9% sure that Social Security will not exist for my generation but I've got a ways to go to retirement. And I have no pension of which to speak, just whatever I'll be able to squirrel away under my mattress until then.

W.C. Varones said...

I thought today was Shit in a Mailbox Day to get back at the mailman union for protecting the mailman who shit in his customer's yard.

Ponder that. This fucking union is such a bunch of thugs that their guy can shit in the customer's yard and not get fired. He's even allowed back as the victim's mailman!

Tell me any other job other than government slacker USPS where you can shit in your customer's yard and not get fired.

So it's not Shit in a Mailbox Day? Oops, too late.

Anonymous said...

I'm back. I just rubbed one out to the girl in front of the bell. I now understand your views.
The poor guy had to take a shit. Better the yard then smelling up your bathroom.
I bet neither of you will be getting laid tonight. Just a guess. If you do post a pic

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

So you can rub one out to that too? No way.

But thanks for the laugh anyway :)

The Lazy Paperboy said...

I do it all the time, Anonymous @ 10:05. Of course, I took the photo. And others.

Anonymous said...

I think your mailman just hates you. Why don't you take your butt out to the kitchen, stick a ham down that fat hole you call a mouth and have a good cry. P. S. Don't cry to much. That oxygen should be used by people who matter.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

That's "too," Anon, you meant to say "don't cry TOO much"

"to much" would mean I'm going to "much" which I can't do since I'm already busy in the kitchen crying.

Anonymous said...

It's always funny when the public BLAMES the mailman for the so called JUNK mail (it's Bulk Business Mail to us). I do think the business mailing it to you does not think of it as junk mail. We offer them a service to deliver it ~ that's all we are doing. We are the center of a $1.3 trillion dollar industry. Just doing my job...

Anonymous said...

As a postal employee I sometimes wonder at that myself. Why don't we charge more for bulk rate mail when actually most of our volume is the bulk rate stuff you seem to hate so much. Instead of raising first class rates we should be raising the bulk business mailing rate. We should remove half of current management instead of eliminating job positions fo the people that actually "move" the mail. We should do a lot of things granted but uderstand universal delivery of the mail is constitutionally mandated. Here is an even scarier thought for you to ponder...the USPS is one of the most "efficient" government organizations, and quite frankly leads the federal government in recycling, and using "green" methods for transportation and any other work types. You are severely misinformed how the USPS works but you are also right in the fact that changes need to be made. Unfortunatley those changes are left up to Congress and the PRC, neither of which are anything but inept at what they do.

Anonymous said...

Years ago, I asked the local post office to stop sending me junk mail flyers on the basis that the said flyers were not addressed to me: they were addressed to "resident" or whatever. Of course, they acted like I was the unabomber incarnate.

Based on all the idiotic comment responses defending this dinosaur of an institution, it is obviously approaching extinction. There is no question that the USPS is going to have to radically restructure its operations in the coming years (months?) to include mass layoffs, post office consolidations, less frequent delivery, pay cuts, benefit cuts, and, most painful of all, embracement of the internet.

By my reckoning, the internet blasted off for the masses in 1996. Sixteen years later, and the goddamned USPS still does not offer any possibility of a citizen's email address. I pay for email because I need it to be there and I need it 100% reliable. These fucking clowns could be collecting that revenue but they are too institutionally stupid to do so. Privatise it all.

Anonymous said...

Rar-rar-rar! I'm angry! Mail mail mail! I consider having to put a piece of trash in a recycling bin a problem that warrants an online rant!

MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE: Rar-rar-rar! I'm angry! Mail is important! If I didn't get the coupons telling me to BUY-BUY-BUUUUUY!!! the whole economy would collapse! My outrage at someone's opinion is a problem that warrants an online rant!

THERE ARE CHILDREN IN PAKISTAN THAT GO TO SCHOOL PRIMARILY TO SHOOT GUNS AT OTHER PEOPLE! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLES!!!

Anonymous said...

EDIT: THERE ARE CHILDREN IN PAKISTAN THAT GO TO SCHOOL PRIMARILY TO **LEARN HOW TO** SHOOT GUNS AT OTHER PEOPLE! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLES!!!

W.C. Varones said...

THERE ARE MAILMEN IN THE U.S. WHO GO TO WORK PRIMARILY TO SHOOT GUNS AT OTHER PEOPLE!!!

Rar-rar-rar!

Come on, you set yourself up for that one. Rar-rar-rar!