The Zombie Apocalypse Is Here!

Sunday, May 27, 2012 , , 6 Comments



Remember last year when the CDC came out with that incredibly informative but completely tongue-in-cheek zombie awareness campaign? Yeah, so, maybe that wasn't totally made up.


THEY'RE HERE, PEOPLE:
One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp, police said.

The bloodshed began about 2 p.m. when a series of gunshots were heard on the ramp, which is along NE 13th Street, just south of The Miami Herald building. Witnesses said a woman saw the two men fighting and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man’s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html#storylink=cpy
Why don't you just read that again to be safe. EATING SOME DUDE'S FACE, SHOT REPEATEDLY, KEPT EATING. If that isn't a zombie, I don't know what is. Worse, the man with his face half eaten off is now infected and probably biting nurses at some Miami hospital as we speak.

One police source called it "the most gruesome thing he’d ever seen." Obviously he's never seen Evil Dead.

According to another source who spoke with the officer involved, the officer saw what the zombie was doing and ordered him to stop. At that point, the zombie GROWLED at the officer and kept eating. This is some real shit, folks.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, they eatin' errrrbody out here!

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wtf ever. Don't buy into this hype. And that is all it is: HYPE. The press exaggerates and plays on people's insecurities. It does, after all, pay their salaries. That's what's wrong with this world. The man was homeless and most likely mentally disturbed and addicted to hard drugs. End of story.

Anonymous said...

Well said^^

W.C. Varones said...

The press downplays and pacifies the masses.

If the masses understood what running 8-10% GDP deficits does, they'd PRAY for a zombie apocalypse.

Or some bath salts.

Anon @ 1:28p, what exactly did you mean by "The press exaggerates and plays on people's insecurities. It does, after all, pay their salaries"? Who pays what salaries? I'm confused.

I am a child of mental illness, my mother suffered most of my life. Not once did she strip down naked and eat a face. Don't buy into the hype!

W.C. Varones said...

Speaking of bath salts...

Anonymous said...

Iv e researched this topic for the last few days and its not just all hype but seriously they don't know if he was on drugs or not due to the toxicology report was inconclusive... but many people think its bath salts (for those who don't know its a designer drug) that was the cause but hey my opinion is to just be safe than sorry. im not saying buy into this completely but by all means do not disregard this.