eBay Psychics Mistaken For Craigslist Sluts As eBay Abandons Metaphysical Wares

As a self-employed person who relies on the Internet to pay the bills myself, I completely understand the plight of Tabetha Berry and her fellow eBay-reliant psychics who are now needing a new source for suckers:
Tabetha Berry has sold psychic readings for much of her adult life. But there is one thing she didn't see coming: the death of her cash cow.

Since 2010, the 50-year-old resident of Santa Clarita, Calif., has made 80% of her annual income selling as many as 60 psychic readings a month on eBay typically for about $15 each. Earlier this month, eBay said it will shut down sales of "metaphysical" goods such as spells, potions and other magical services on its namesake website.
Um, wait, I write (mostly) accounting career advice for a living and this chick sells psychic readings so either we're practically the same person or not at all alike. Perhaps I should start charging accounting students to read their career tea leaves instead of giving them real advice they can use? YES, it's so genius!

Let's do the math quick, shall we? If Tabetha Berry has been making money off of this for "much of her adult life" and eBay has been around since 1995, that means for approximately 1/3 of her adult life, Ms Berry used something other than eBay to pay her bills. Assuming, of course, that she was one of the 4 people who used eBay back before it was eBay. More likely, she's been milking eBay for a good decade or so. So what did she do before that? Psychic Friends Network commercials? Why can't she go back to whatever it was she did before eBay?

While we're debunking wild claims from this WSJ article, since when is $900 a month a cash cow? That wouldn't even pay my rent! I certainly wouldn't refer to it as a cash cow, especially for someone living in overpriced, overtaxed California. Come on now, WSJ, stop being lazy.

Anyhoo, looks like the eBay psychics are going to have to find an alternate way to pull in obscene amounts of money like $900 every month now that eBay is no longer helping them scam unsuspecting losers who think psychic readings are at all legit. Apparently that's not working out too well already:
Still others are throwing in their wands and turning to less paranormal careers, like selling shoes. "I'm feeling so defeated," says Ms. Berry, who says she has tried to reduce her reliance on eBay by posting psychic services on Craigslist—only to be propositioned. "I guess I could have seen that coming," she says.
YA THINK?! Maybe you should have charged yourself $15 for the reading, Tabetha!

While we're on the subject, enjoy my favorite psychic, Q-tip head Gary Spivey:

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

As a member of the Pagan faith I am highly offened by the assumption that all psychics are fruads. Some people do have a gift for intuiton.

Too bad I don't have the gift or I could have seen your comment coming.

Anonymous said...

The snarky comments are unappreciated. There are many people who are affected by this. How would you like it if you had your career avenue taken away from you? Thanks to some people who have the same attitude as you, Jr Deputy, there are many who are out of work. And anonymous, no need to be offended. I agree with you that there are many who are intuitive and gifted in many ways - some through the pagan faith, others through other faiths and even some through the christian faith.

As far as jr deputy goes.. he's one of many. There are idiots all throughout this world, it pays not to give one ounce of your time or spirt being to them. After all, if they have to be so miserable then i guess they get what they deserve.

Oh Christ, get over it. It's called innovation and adaptation. How the hell did these people make money before eBay? Those who are intuitive and gifted will continue to be such, just without eBay. There are many more channels for them that don't involve late night TV. eBay is a private business and they can do whatever they want, sorry but maybe it was time to clean house. For one "legit" psychic there, there might have been 25 snake oil salesmen selling cat piss in a mason jar and calling it magic water. Come on now.

Do you know what MY job is, Anonymous? MOCKING PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET. So don't take it so personally, it wasn't about YOU unless you identified with my "fraud" comment, but that's your problem not mine. Thankfully I still have my job and trust me, I am grateful.

Also, I am a chick and I am no idiot, nor am I miserable. I am grateful every day for my wonderful life. Maybe if you practiced the same you wouldn't go ranting on obscure financial blogs at the crack of dawn?

I WILL give you one point, however, you are right, it's not worth it to give one ounce of your "spirt" to assholes like me. As I said above, just doing my job. Besides, if you've got paying customers who will rent your spirit from you, why would you give it away to dickheads like me for free?!?!

W.C. Varones said...

Selling handjobs on Craigslist is more honest and probably a lot more lucrative.

Get with the times.

DOOD, WCV, you can't even sell handies on Craigslist anymore. Socialists.

Thanks to some individuals who have the same mind-set as you, Jr Deputy, there are many who are out of perform. And confidential, no need to be upset. I believe the fact with you that there are many who are user-friendly and blessed often - some through the questionnable trust, others through other beliefs and even some through the religious trust.

Anonymous said...

I was married to a member of Tabetha Berry's family back in the 1980's when she was a child. I have not seen her since then but I can tell you truthfully, some of the most bizarre , psychic, spiritual and other worldly experiences of my life happened during my time as a member of her family.