Small-Minded Americans Everywhere Outraged Over Fast Food, Forget Fast Food Is All Garbage Anyway
pic via Life in the Belt
In case you've been in a cave, let me catch you up. Today is apparently Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the one day when gay-hating conservatives everywhere line up to eat questionably authentic chicken in solidarity of Chick-fil-A's corporate position on "the biblical definition of the family unit." That's all well and good and though I love me some gays, I fully support their right to do so but really, let's not lose sight of the bigger picture here.
First, corporations aren't people. That was Chick-fil-A's first major error. Its president (and that's president, not CEO as many lazy media outlets are reporting, its CEO is S. Truett Cathy) Dan Cathy should have stuck to expressing his own personal views, not those of the corporation. After all, the corporation is required by law to hire gays, but what gay person do you know would A) work at a fast food restaurant and B) work at a place that doesn't support their right to be miserably married up to the love of their life like us straight folk? The corporation cannot HAVE a position, it's a corporation! It doesn't have feelings or views or opinions, it exists to make money. But hey, guess that's the world we live in today.
Second, if Chick-fil-A is so serious about "the biblical definition of the family unit," does that mean they hate single mothers? Divorced dads? Mormons? Do they hate me too because 1 Corinthians bashes chicks with short hair and Leviticus forbids tattoos? We could do this all day. Perhaps Chick-fil-A needs a real come to Jesus themselves to remind themselves that Jesus Christ taught love and acceptance, not judgment, but hey, that's an argument for another day.
Now, let's get to today. Apparently one Wendy's franchise owner took it upon himself to stand in solidarity with his gay-marriage-hating brethren at Chick-fil-A and put up signs declaring "we stand with Chick-fil-A" just to make sure everyone knows it. I mean really, since when is it a smart idea to say you're all for the competition? Whatever, this is a heated debate and people are losing it obviously.
So some said the franchise owner had the right to free speech. As an American, sure, but as a franchise owner he does not. Can he put "Fuck black people" on his company sign? NO, he has an agreement with the company as a franchise owner and is likely held to a minimum standard of decency that supercedes his rights as an American. Stop missing the point, people. Can he wear a "fuck black people" t-shirt out and about in the world? Sure, and I dare him to do it in my neighborhood and see how far "free speech" gets him. Just because you can say whatever you want doesn't mean you should. It's not some huge injustice, folks, come on.
Wendy's corporate got the guy to take the signs down but couldn't get the intern who runs their Twitter account to keep from opening his or her big mouth to imply that Wendy's, big sports that they are, serves anyone regardless of race, color, creed or sexual orientation. That would be really admirable except Chick-fil-A does the same, it's just that they don't want the gays they serve to get married. Derp.
The offending tweet has since been deleted (though you'll still catch a stream of apologies coming out of the account if you check it out now) but thankfully the Internet is quick and managed to snag this screenshot:
Anyhoo, so a new uproar ensued, mostly among the #tcot crowd on Twitter, who immediately took the opportunity to slam Wendy's for a) saying dumb things and b) implying that Chick-fil-A ever discriminated against any paying customer. As far as we can tell, that's never happened. If this is a First Amendment issue (it isn't), we're again forgetting that CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE and therefore are not afforded any rights. Regardless, Wendy's should have known better but we're still missing the point.
The point - finally - is that we're getting all worked into a lather over industrialized food that is toxic to our bodies. Who cares if the makers of pink slime hate gays/blacks/kids/monkeys? They're producing pink slime! THAT, my friends, is what matters, not photo ops of Rick Santorum stuffing his face with Chick-fil-A (although if one exists, please point me to it, I need a laugh after all this hostile back and forth today).
Chick-fil-A hates gays, that much we know. Personally, I have never had the "pleasure" of eating their slop, nor do I plan to any time soon because I don't like the taste of recycled grease and don't really like to give my money to bigots if I don't have to. But this has gone way too far. When the dumb intern at Wendy's starts getting attacked, we've really lost it. What next, you guys are going to start staging a McDonald's sit-in, launching chicken nuggets at riot cops as they drag you away kicking and screaming? Get real, people!
So, here's where we're at:
1) Fast food sucks. It's bad for you. Just don't eat there.
2) Corporations are not people. Dan Cathy or any other American can say whatever they want but the CORPORATION does not have a "right" to free speech as it is not an American. Got it? Moving on...
3) People need to settle the fuck down. About everything. I am not joking, this is seriously getting out of hand. Everyone just shut the fuck up for a minute and relax. Take up yoga.
4) Obviously we as a nation are not prepared to have an adult conversation about equality. Give me a call when y'all are ready, I'll be here.