Florida Pizza Owner Learns Being Part of an Obama Photo Op Isn't as Cool As It Seems

So, that pizza shop dude who bear-hugged Obama? You all, being of sound mind, do realize that was completely and totally staged, right?

The sad part is that the pizza shop owner is now complaining that it's hurting his business. That, my friends, is what happens when you make a deal with the devil: in this case, the "deal" being an Obama campaign trail photo op and the devil being, well, politics as always. Derpity derp derp, Scott!

The owner of a Florida pizza shop says people are boycotting his business because he bear-hugged President Barack Obama on Sunday.

“People are saying a lot of bad things and boycotting my restaurant,” Scott Van Duzer, 46, told POLITICO. “There’s no middle line anymore, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with our country right now.”
Uh huh. What's wrong with our country is that millions of Americans saw Van Duzer lift the President of the United States off the ground and didn't immediately think "Holy shit this is faker than Keeping Up With the Kardashians!" I mean really, how many Secret Service guns would the guy have to his head if he spontaneously attempted such a stunt?

Come on. Florida. Republican small business owner. President desperately seeking re-election. Awe-struck bystanders. What part of fake is so hard to understand?

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


Anonymous said...

the family changed the name from "Van Douchebag" to "Van Duzer" shortly after getting off the boat and kissing the shores of their new home country...