Let's Just Get QE3 Over With Already (Because We Did)

You've read the headlines all week:

Bernanke Has Already Told Us: More Stimulus Is Coming
Wall Street has hopes for QE3 from Fed
Bernanke Should Do the Right Thing and Not Say He’s Sorry

One of my favorites was "Fed Stuck at Zero Into 2015 Seen in Swaps, QE Odds Reach 99%," in which we discover that markets are obviously just begging for the stuff:
A gauge of indicators of market expectations for additional central bank stimulus rose to a record 99 percent in August, according to Citigroup Inc. The measure increased to 82 percent in the months before QE2 in November 2010.
Yeah right OK. Could these guys try any harder to get the message across? Yeesh.

So, wise little hamster that I am, I sold off a few random stocks this week ahead of the Fed statement. The way I see it, if they announce QE3, I may have missed out on a small stampede in equities but I can easily make up for it by putting the proceeds into gold, which will inevitably outperform any bitch ass 40 cent dividends and HFT robot hand jobs I'd get in stocks. If they don't announce QE3, the major indices will tank and go cry in the corner while I run off with my profit and spend it on things I don't need. WIN either way!

Here's the bottom line: the financial media (obviously led by the wizards at the Fed) has been worked up into a lather over QE3 lately, and are almost all speaking as if it's already been announced. OK, people, WE GET IT. The signal is coming through loud and motherfucking clear, you can stop now.

At this point, we all know the Fed has no way out. QE3 is a foregone conclusion. In fact, the Fed has been busy for three full years now cranking up the frigid economy in vain, why should now be any different? It isn't and it can't be. Plus, come on, it's an election year, you gotta keep the cheap money flowing when campaigns are at stake.

Will the Fed announce QE3 today? The real question is, will they come clean about the fact that QE3 has long come and gone? After all, who else is buying Treasurys these days? Hint: it isn't China.

I can only hope this means the official QE3 involves helicopter drops, balloons and free prizes like GM cars and Old Navy chinos. PLEASE?!

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


sheeps said...

I watched Zeitgeist Addendum. Eye popping. Appreciate your site. Love the sarcasm.

W.C. Varones said...

Hope you got that gold!