What Are All These Wires?

If you haven't heard, I'm moving. DC has burned out for me. Later, folks, I'll keep my DC "Taxation Without Representation" license plates as long as I can but I'm out of here.

So in packing up all my shit, I have this box of cords. Cell phones. GPS. PlayStation 3. Broadband. Ethernet. Idon'tknowwhatthefucknet. A whole box of the shit. It's just the start of it. There are burned out BlackBerrys and USB cords all over my house. Too many.

Wasn't technology supposed to make our lives easier? Here I am freaking out about whether or not I packed the right attachment for my universal charger.

Why do I even have to think about this? I expected flying cars by now.

This is bullshit.

Fine, I get music out of my watch and movies out of my video game system. How am I supposed to remember where all these cords go?

Internet, PS3, cable, iPad, WHERE WILL MY FEBREZE NOTICEABLES UNITS GO with all this shit sucking up electricity in my new house?!?!?!

I thought technology was supposed to make it easier. This doesn't seem easy. WHAT IF MY IPAD DIES ALONG THE WAY? It's a 2 hour drive to my new house. I'm freaking out. Come on, people, tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Fuck this. I want out. There's too much to keep up with and too much to be attached to.

Does the USB charger in my car take care of my iPod and BlackBerry? God, this is way more than I signed up for.

The picture above depicts maybe 1/4 of my total cord matrix in my DC condo right now. I'm confident I can unravel all of it but it's a pretty big task ahead of me. Routers. Extension cords. THE DAMN FEBREZE NOTICEABLES that make the house smell delicious but are probably killing me with toxic fumes. Whatever, at least the house smells good.

I found this Zero Hedge guest post on too much stuff to be appropriate right now. I'm trying to pack up a one bedroom DC condo, including all the crap I can't get rid of in this town.

Get it yet, America? Let it go. It's just stuff. I pledge to get rid of HALF of what I have right now before I leave DC. I'll try to give most of it away for free if no one will pay for it, versus putting it in landfill.

Anyone else with me? Let's just get rid of this shit. Trust me, it's freeing.

While we're on the subject of DC, what's up with the weird weather?

The above photo is my NYCACC death row inmate survivor cat (video of her rescue is here) wondering what the fuck is up with the sky. That's not normal. Tornadoes in Fairfax? WHAT?? She doesn't know what Fairfax is so really she doesn't give a shit. What's with the camera in my face, she's asking, not why is the sky lit up like Satan's asshole behind her. She doesn't care. Really, she's a cat, what do you expect?

Cheddar didn't really give a shit about the crazy sky but wondered out loud on Facebook why it's so weird tonight. What does a cat care about the weird weather?

So I have too much shit and the sky is pissed off. Great. I'm so excited.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


W.C. Varones said...

A box of bullion, a box of ammo, a box of wine, and thee.

grunk said...

Does The Bernank know you're leaving?