Some Idiot Got Busted Trying to Blow Up the NY Fed



DUDE. You are doing this ALL wrong. Take it from someone who has been very literally sleeping with the enemy for almost four years: you can accomplish far more by being nice, kind, loving and cuddly than you can being a psycho with a bomb strapped to your chest. I enjoy pithy email exchanges with Fed executives I'm not sleeping with because I always maintain professionalism, End the Fed sticker on my car's bumper aside. There's a right way and a wrong way and this guy's method is clearly very wrong:
NBC 4 New York has learned that federal authorities have arrested a man they say was plotting to attack the Federal Reserve in New York City.

The man is in custody in New York. Sources tell NBC 4 New York that he lives on Long Island.

Law enforcement officials stress that the plot was a sting operation monitored by the FBI and NYPD and the public was never at risk.

Sources say the suspect was acting alone.

YOU TOOL! I mean really, what were you going to do, bomb the Fed? Please, how pedestrian. Instead, you could enjoy the good life, get laid, have an unlimited supply of Fed shred plus a great collection of Fed shwag and accept that the best you can do is try to dismantle the machine by delivering information to the unwashed masses, not violence. Come on, how stupid are you?!

For the record, JDA is a lover not a fighter. Clearly. I'm all about getting this done with love and intellect, not force. I mean I may force myself on my poor unsuspecting Fed boyfriend but surely he knows it's coming or he wouldn't keep coming over to my house.

FAIL, BRO!

5 comments:

Andrew said...

Thankfully you only use your powers for good.

W.C. Varones said...

Sounds like another false flag op where the cops entrap some brain-dead Occupier.

"Sting operation?" Yeah I'm sure you stung a real threat there, geniuses.

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

By "sting operation" they mean "told some dude who isn't getting laid making empty threats on the Internet they'd give him some big bombs to blow that shit up" I'd guess.

Fools.

W.C. Varones said...

Evan Sayet: "This just in, the Obama administration says the attack was caused by the movie 'Wall Street.'"

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

Actually the guy apparently said he did it for Osama bin Laden. That's what we get for lying, the dude has been on ice for years!