An Open Letter To Francis Koenig's Fake Lawyer Who Bullied Me Into Removing a Post

Another pic via SFW-porn

Hey Chris Jones, ESQ! Since you aren't answering my emails sent to your email address of after the last time I asked you to confirm that you are, in fact, not authorized to practice law in the state of California, I just wanted to let you know... I've printed off your emails and they are in the US mail as we speak to the California Bar so they can evaluate your fake lawyer-ness because it's a crime in the state of California to pretend to be a lawyer when you have no legal right to be one. Although I totally appreciate you not signing your emails as ESQ and removing your lame fake legal disclaimer once I outed you. So there's that. Also, I've been in touch with the SEC and am in the process of getting all documents related to the AdultVest investigation, and the SEC person who signed off on AdultVest's "exoneration" is aware that you threatened me by email to remove a post I was fully within my First Amendment right to keep on my website. So there's that too.

But I just wanted to let you know that I continue to dominate Google for "Francis Koenig" (rightfully so since I am clearly an authority on the subject by now and this is just the beginning) and just to be safe, I'll go ahead and email Google proactively to make sure you can't bully them into changing that too. Although Google has the legal team to battle fake lawyers and won't be so easily punked into removing content as I was when I thought you were a real lawyer. But I'm totally cool with spending my Saturday chatting with them just to make sure.

Check this out, dude!

You see that? That's Page 1, bro. Your "client's" LinkedIn page and then FINalternatives and then ME ME ME (because I'm in Google News too, didn't you know?). You like that? I know I do.

So while Francis Koenig lists "expert experience with SEO and SEM" as one of his LinkedIn specialties, something tells me he must not be that much of an expert if he can't make old thorn in his ass JDA go away. It's gonna take a whole lot more than a fake lawyer to do that. Especially now that he's resorted to sending fake lawyers after me, as I think I've proven over the last few days. Dangit!

OH and then there is this post by Outrun Change, who was kind enough to pick up this case and remind anyone else looking to pull this same nonsense that it’s a bad idea to pick a fight with someone who buys pixels by the terabyte.

I've also been in touch with a few of my financial journalist friends and will continue to do so just to let them know you're a fake toolbag bully in case you have the guts to come at them too. Something tells me you won't be trying such a stunt any time soon.

Lesson learned: DO NOT fuck with the Internet. We are not to be crossed.

It's really only going to get worse for you once I uncover the SEC investigation via FOIA and whatever else I can gather now that you've dared mess with me. Sorry for your luck, you shoulda known better I guess. A real lawyer might have known that.

Is there anything else I can do for you? Because I'm a reasonable girl. At least I was before you came after me.

But hey, thanks for dropping me from that lawsuit. I really appreciate it. LOL!

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


W.C. Varones said...

Don't fuck with the Internets!

Stupid fucker. But hey, he got what he wanted, I took the post down!

Anonymous said...

Bwah!What a douche! He is in for such a world of hurt. What is your price? Say he strokes you a check for $25K? Would you take these posts down?

Fuck no, Anon. It's too late now. The Internet never forgets (obviously) and whatever world of hurt he's about to get from the California Bar is already in motion.

Besides, last I heard Koenig was broke (I mean obviously, he can't even afford a real lawyer) so even if I HAD a price, he probably couldn't afford it.

Sam Freedom said...

Lol!! I understand the mindset. Its not like it comes after one stupid, mean-spirited comment. You only get this way when someone really tries hard to be an ass to you.

Whatever happens, i hope this works out peacefully.

Anonymous said...

You're my hero JR!