Hint, Hint: Pack It Up and Go Home

OK, so somehow we are STILL FUCKING HERE five years after I started writing this. And somehow we still have a can to kick down the road. Fine.

But seriously, you have been warned.

Marc Faber, publisher of The Gloom, Boom & Doom Report, told CNBC on Monday that investors are asking the wrong question about when the Federal Reserve will taper its massive bond-buying program. They should be asking when the central bank will be increasing it, he argued.

"The question is not tapering. The question is at what point will they increase the asset purchases to say $150 [billion] , $200 [billion], a trillion dollars a month," Faber said in a "Squawk Box" interview.

Get it yet?


Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeee!!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013 4 Comments

Five years, 4092 posts, the same Fed chairman and we're still fucked.

Thanks for keeping me company during these strange times, children, stay strong and know I love you.


For Sale: My Copy of "How Our Laws Are Made" (.gov Buyers Only, Please)

For sale: vintage "How Our Laws Are Made" booklet. Presented by Mr. Brady of Pennsylvania July 24, 2007, procured by me at AICPA Council, spring 2011.

Available FREE to any individual with a house.gov, senate.gov or whitehouse.gov email address.

Please contact Jr Deputy Accountant at jda@jrdeputyaccountant.com using your work email, can make copies if needed since the Government Printing Office is obviously out for the foreseeable future.


USPS To Destroy Perfectly Fine Stamps Because People Are Too Stupid To Be Allowed To Use Them

Legit, this is happening:

You might think this was a parody, but apparently not. The federal government has ordered the destruction of a series of fifteen postage stamps intended to get kids to be more active after sports safety advocates said three of the stamps raised safety concerns, including illustrations depicting kids “skateboarding without kneepads, and doing a headstand without a helmet.” [Postal News]

The nefarious stamps in question show clip art kids engaged in all kinds of dangerous behaviors, as you can see:


Perhaps the USPS should stick to what they know like not delivering the mail, wasting money on unnecessary ads and taking dumps on lawns.


How to Screw With Craigslist Scammers

So, I'm trying to unload a bunch of crap because I have too much of it and before I end up on an episode of Hoarders, I figured I'd attempt to make at least a fraction of my money back on said crap.

I've listed a ton of decent stuff: furniture, my TV, art, blah blah. So far, I'm getting the usual cheap asses, flakes and scammers. Lots and lots of scammers.

I also list my foster cats up for adoption on CL and I was shocked when I got an inquiry from a scammer not that long ago offering to mail me a check for the cat, which I knew would be over the amount (what amount I have no idea, the cats were never "for sale") with the expectation that I would Western Union the remainder to the scammer or however it is these assholes operate. Yeah, sure, let me get right on that.

So when I got an email about my PlayStation3 from an obvious scammer, I just knew what I had to do.

Note to anyone unfamiliar with how these scams work, here's how you know it's a scam: it feels like a scam. Basically any time someone isn't local, demands to use PayPal, or offers you more than you actually asked for the item, it's a scam. Teen Mom Farrah Abraham -- who might not be the sharpest tool in the shed -- famously fell for a Craigslist scam while cameras were rolling, and great mother that she is, let her baby fall off the bed as she angrily tried to get her money back over the phone. Whoops.

Craigslist scammer
Was it something I said?
(larger version)

An alternate version of this response uses your local FBI office as the address to ship a "check" to. Chances are the authorities won't do anything about it but it's better than even letting that crap touch your own mailbox.

Suffice to say, I did not get a response after that last email. I checked in one last time to make sure everything was OK but... again... nothing.

Too bad, she seemed like such a nice lady.


The FEDERAL Government Shuts Down, But Not the FEDERAL Reserve...

Funny how that works, eh?

Of course, we could consider the Fed's job to be "essential" if we were smoking crack cocaine and or opium, and then we'd be brainwashed into believing we just can't quit them.

My hometown rag the Washington Post has an excellent primer on what will and won't be open now that the government has come to a screeching halt praise Jesus it's about time. Most notably:

Federal Reserve: Everyone would stay, since the central bank has an independent source of funding.

LOL."An independent source" LMFAO seriously, I'm in tears, legit, right now. I almost choked but thank goodness I didn't because I am an uninsured freelancer and can't afford a trip to the emergency room.

Meanwhile, I couldn't come to an agreement with my cats over how much I will spend on my Obamacare premium I couldn't afford before and can't afford now so we came to a compromise and decided we aren't paying our electric bill for the foreseeable future but litter box cleaning services will still be provided by this sovereign republic.

Happy shutdown, folks!