The FEDERAL Government Shuts Down, But Not the FEDERAL Reserve...



Funny how that works, eh?

Of course, we could consider the Fed's job to be "essential" if we were smoking crack cocaine and or opium, and then we'd be brainwashed into believing we just can't quit them.

My hometown rag the Washington Post has an excellent primer on what will and won't be open now that the government has come to a screeching halt praise Jesus it's about time. Most notably:

Federal Reserve: Everyone would stay, since the central bank has an independent source of funding.

LOL."An independent source" LMFAO seriously, I'm in tears, legit, right now. I almost choked but thank goodness I didn't because I am an uninsured freelancer and can't afford a trip to the emergency room.

Meanwhile, I couldn't come to an agreement with my cats over how much I will spend on my Obamacare premium I couldn't afford before and can't afford now so we came to a compromise and decided we aren't paying our electric bill for the foreseeable future but litter box cleaning services will still be provided by this sovereign republic.

Happy shutdown, folks!