How Delta Airlines Almost Got Me Fired (and Blew Social Media Engagement in the Process)

Alright, that headline is a little incendiary (shock that JDA would do such a thing, I know) but hey, let's pretend like I'm not irreplaceable and therefore almost unfireable for the sake of the following story I'm about to tell.

As most of you know, I am Managing Editor of the #1 website among 18 - 34 year old accounting professionals in the US. What you don't know (unless you religiously stalk me on Twitter) is that I had to make a trip to Boston this week to meet up with my team and our UK handlers. Though most of us work remotely 99% of the time, meeting up as a team is really valuable, and I was scheduled to be in Boston Tuesday morning to do just that. Except Delta fucked it all up.

I'm a bit of a procrastinator (I'm still working on this, in true procrastinator fashion) so I did wait until the last minute to book my flight to Boston on Kayak but managed to do so in record time -- for me -- with my flight all set and paid for a full 3 weeks ahead of schedule. Rad. I picked Delta because it was non-stop and at the top of the cheap list, because I'm all about saving my company a few pennies if I can on a short flight.

At about 11pm the night before I was supposed to get up for my 6am flight, I got a notice from Delta. Why I was still awake I can't say, because I really should have gone to bed at 9pm to get a bag packed and take a shower and get to the Richmond airport all before dawn which is a bitch in and of itself but that was the plan. Delta called me (which I didn't see because who the fuck answers a random toll-free number that late) and then at 10:57pm, they sent me an email to say my flight to Boston was cancelled. It's cool, they were urgently trying to rebook me.

Rebook me they did. They gave me some half ass flight to NYC that would have meant me sitting around with my thumb in my ass at Kennedy and then I could get to Boston far later than I'd planned on the initial flight I booked. I immediately called Delta and explained that wasn't an option, hence the flight I booked in the first place that was my earliest chance to get out of Richmond. Of course, since they cancelled me long after the last flight left Richmond the night before, I couldn't even run to the airport and make my escape that night instead (Richmond is tiny as fuck and shuts down pretty early, if you don't know, all the more reason I want to move back to DC fulltime).

The foreign guy I spoke to on Delta customer service that night finally offered me a US Airways flight that would get me into Boston just half an hour after schedule after much eye-rolling and bitching on my part. It worked out great even though I still got into Boston late; we arrived 20 minutes ahead of schedule in Boston on the US Airways flight so I did save some skin (thanks US Airways!).

That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was this email I got after I bitched Delta out on Twitter the night they cancelled my flight after I had returned from my trip and had just about forgotten how Delta fucked me:

Subject was "Delta travel on March 25, 2014. Please tell us how we did." so how the fuck would I, as a business traveler totally still butthurt over my cancelled flight that barely got salvaged after I talked the customer service guy into a US Airways flight to get me into Boston on time read that and not think "how dare you people ask me to give you feedback on how you fucked my plan to get to my Boston office at the asscrack of dawn"? That isn't even a rhetorical question.

Delta finally decided to engage me on Twitter when I mentioned how ridiculous it was of them to ask me to fill out a fucking survey, and they wanted me to DM them details but I decided to do this instead. So here you go, "CS" now you are all caught up. No DM required.

For the record, my Delta flight back to Richmond from Boston was delayed but that was fair because it was windy as fuck in Boston that day and all in all the wait wasn't so bad since we all got home safely so that's something. I still don't know why Delta cancelled my flight in, I thought it was snow but we ended up being the only flight cancelled when I got to the Richmond airport that morning. I also ran into the husband of a fellow Richmond cat rescuer at Logan waiting around for our flight back to Richmond so that was cool too but damn, I won't fly Delta again from Richmond to Logan if I have a chance (and I will, because I plan to spend a lot more time up there with our Boston-area people).

Enjoy, "CS" at @DeltaAssist, this is my story. Should you need more, feel free to reach out.

My flight back to Richmond was lovely, thanks for asking. Seriously, never ask me to fill out a survey, you don't want my opinion.


Let Us Discuss Glasshole Hate Crime Victim Sarah Slocum, Because She Wants Us To

Hi, guys. Sorry I've been MIA, if you didn't get the news, I was promoted to Managing Editor of Going Concern late last year and that's a pretty time-intensive gig keeping accountants full up on news. Trust, I haven't forgotten the JDA faithful.

I have been following the story of douchetacular Sarah Slocum "tech writer" since the moment she was "assaulted" in a San Francisco bar wearing her Google Glass and have to say, she was asking for it. As a former San Franciscan, I have to ask who the fuck walks into Molotovs drunk off her ass with a computer on her face expecting nothing less than what she got? I mean really. Sorry not sorry, Sarah, but whatever you studied at UC Berkeley couldn't have possibly prepared you for the backlash you deserved rolling up on Fillmore St acting like that.

First, look at her logo. Who the fuck buys "social media services" from someone with a logo like this? Tech writer my ass, she's a failed women's studies clown sleeping in her parents' basement trying to start shit again SORRY NOT SORRY just calling it like it is. This logo is a joke. I got an intern gig at the local sign shop in Milwaukee in high school and did better logos than this. I mean really. REALLY.

OMG LOL. For real though?

And then you find out, from LA Times, that she has a history of stalking people who didn't expect they'd be recorded and you can't help but ask yourself REALLY? Really, Sarah? But yeah, you're a "tech writer" LOL even though Sarah lists herself as a "Contributing Editor" for Newsdab, which lets any clown with an Internet connection write for.

From the Newsdab "About Us":

Newsdab is the first news customization website, where anyone can be a reporter or publisher, allowing users to edit, share, read, watch and organize stories from across the web, in a social environment. The concept is to give people the ability to make headlines either by sharing links to existing content from the web or by editing their own stories. We believe anyone can be a reporter / editor / writer / publisher. The tool revolutionizes how news is produced, delivered and consumed. People hit Upload when they want to share their videos on youtube and they hit Post when they want to share news on newsdab. If anyone can be a video maker, certainly, anyone can be a reporter / writer / publisher or simply content contributor.

OMG! So any piece of shit can run a story and be a "newsmaker" OMFG where do I sign up?

Sarah Slocum, who the fuck do you think you are fooling? You aren't even a Glasshole, you're just an Asshole, and that isn't a tech problem. Good luck in your future efforts, you waste of space and Glass bandwidth.

Just admit you're a creep and we can all move on, loser. You aren't even a Glass Explorer, someone gifted you the Glass you harassed people with (and I hope they regret it now because you are truly a douche).

Hey Sarah, you can block me on Twitter because I called you out for being a piece of shit but you can't deny that you are, at the end of the day, a real piece of shit. Just own it. The sooner the better, loser.