Now Billionaires Can Rot Away in a Luxury Underground Vault When Doomsday Comes

Those of you who have enjoyed the Fallout franchise as I have are likely going to think the same thing I did when I heard about the Vivos Europa One -- a 76 acre, nuclear-proof, underground compound reserved for a handpicked group of "lucky" filthy rich folks.

Hmm, where have I seen an idea like this before? OH RIGHT.

Now, if we learned anything from Fallout, it's that underground micro societies in a post-apocalyptic wasteland are a terrible idea. You're better off fighting your way through mutated ants and dirty drug-fueled punks than rotting away in a "secure" vault.

But some of us are used to luxury and therefore will demand such in the event of global anarchy, widespread bioterrorism attacks, or even collision with the mysterious and probably unlikely Planet X. That's where Vivos comes in.

Forget dingy common rooms and rusty toilets like we see in Fallout, Vivos Europa One is the real deal.

Who doesn't want to relax and catch some fluorescent rays poolside? You won't even realize the world is going to shit above you!

Vivos already has a "budget" bunker in Indiana that boasts "tasteful" furnishings, geothermal heating and cooling, full size showers and bathrooms, ATVs, and a theater. It claims the bunker is set up for a year of autonomous survival -- after that, someone's going to have to pop a Rad-X and head out into the heat if you know what I'm saying.

If being stuck with a bunch of strangers in a vault doesn't sound like your idea of a good post-apocalyptic party, Vivos can also supply you with your own personal shelter in a box, which you can DIY in a couple weekends on your own property! Boy, would I love to see that on Pinterest Fail.

Here's a little more on the new bunker in Germany from Forbes:

Additionally, the shelter will include a collection of zoological species, an archive for the most precious artifacts and treasures of the world, a DNA Vault to preserve and protect the genomes of millions of donors, and a modern day “Hall of Records”, to autonomously survive virtually any catastrophe or disaster for several years. Vivos will retrofit, equip, furnish, stock, supply and convert this complex into a state-of-the-art, contemporary complex.

Private improvements will include all of the typical amenities enjoyed by the floating counterparts, including pools, theaters, gyms, a kitchen, bar, bedrooms and deluxe bathrooms. The possibilities are limited only by each member’s personal desire.

Vivos will provide each living quarters with power lines, plumbing for water and sewage, HVAC systems, communications lines, security systems, internet and closed circuit systems.
Internet, huh? Well good, I'm sure there are plenty of people -- myself included -- who will want to live tweet the apocalypse. I'd also be highly interested in checking the Daily Mail to see what their editors have to say about apocalypse fashion and celebrity mutants.

So, I see only a few small problems with this luxury bunker. 

First, it's really only designed to support inhabitants for 6 months to a year. Then what?

Second, support staff. You really don't expect these billionaires to serve themselves at the bar, do you? Just how long do you think the plebeians will serve their masters in a true disaster scenario?

Third, ongoing costs. Vivos expects inhabitants to pay maintenance costs in the event of bunker activation. What are they going to pay with? Are billionaires going to bring truckloads of cash with them? If so, that'll be helpful when the bunker runs out of toilet paper I suppose.

If spending the end of days locked in a prison isn't your cup of tea, you can send your DNA to the vault instead. Yes, for just the cost of a $30 DNA "card," your genetic data can live on post-apocalypse even if you don't. Now, we don't really have any use for it currently but just like cryogenically frozen heads, there may be a use for it in the future. Think about the future!

Good luck with that, Vivos. 

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.


"Rot away", while everyone else on the surface is dead, dying or wishing they were from the catastrophic event(s) and aftermath that caused these Vivos members to prepare, plan and secure a safe haven in a Vivos shelter. Now whom exactly is going to be "rotting away".

Anon Anonymous said...

good response Vivos Command. drives the point further. prepare, whether with your deluxe accommodations or on the frugal budget. It can be done the latter with similar results as the former.

Yeah, I totally want to spend doomsday locked in a luxury coffin with a bunch of once-billionaires who are now worth exactly $0 because the world economy has collapsed.

You have fun with that, I'll be on the surface getting radiated.

Dave smith said...

"Wouldn't it be nice" beach boy tunes blaring from former def-con four city scape speakers tied to "the blues brothers" police salvage auto. since the lucky elites will eventually become boring and bored with themselves, they will have to surface from their well thought out preparedness environment only to find the true survivors (former homeless persons) these folks will have naturally developed immunities to disease ,discomforts and general malaise sooo Elites prepare for compromise! Perhaps you're daughters union with Clarence the syphlitic crack addict can be a "negotiation " worthy of your "king of the world" homecoming.

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