Prove What a Dried Up Sell Out You Are With These New Sex Pistols Credit Cards

Wednesday, June 10, 2015 , , , , 0 Comments

Everyone gets old and hangs up their Dr. Martens eventually. There's no shame in that. In fact, one might argue there's more shame in clinging desperately to those Docs as though you're still 15 when you're 55. But hey, do what you want. I still have the same nose piercing I had in 1994, although I can't say I run around squeezing grapefruits at Kroger looking like Jane Child in yoga pants.

 Wait, why am I not squeezing grapefruits at Kroger looking exactly like this?!

Anyway, yeah, moving on. Growing up. Trading our youthful ideals for the reality of grown-up life. Why the bleedingest heartest liberal youth is the most likely to register as a Republican 40 years later once he's got a business and a mortgage and 2.5 kids and a dog with a heart condition.

For the sell-out punk in your life who has traded safety pins for PIN numbers, now Virgin Money brings us Sex Pistols branded credit cards. Never mind the bollocks, how about those interest rates?

Thirty eight years after the Sex Pistols first signed for Virgin Records, Virgin Money has announced an exclusive range of Sex Pistols credit cards, available from 9 June 2015.

Three options are available, including an eye-catching vertical design, with new technology allowing all customer personalisation (name, card number, expiry date) to be moved to the back of the card preserving the integrity of the Sex Pistols artwork and allowing it to be reproduced in full, as shown below.
Sorry not sorry but the integrity of the iconic artwork was lost whenever a bunch of middle-aged capitalist pigs stuffed into pinstripe suit casings like big sell-out sausages came up with this idea.

What's more punk rock than an APR of 18.9% on balance transfers? HUH? NOTHING.

You know, I thought 13 year old kids born after 9/11 wearing Sex Pistols t-shirts were the end of that era but no, this right here is it. Unless Virgin is planning on unveiling a Sex Pistols ETF or limited edition diabetes stocking collection.

*sigh* I'll be at Kroger desperately clinging to my youth if anyone needs me.

Jr Deputy Accountant

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard.